Uncle  I^os 
eitTrns 


Joel  Chandler  Harris 


UNIVERSITY  OF  N.C.  AT  CHAPEL  HILL 

"lllllllllllllill 

10000057368 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2012  with  funding  from 

University  of  North  Carolina  at  Chapel  Hill 


http://www.archive.org/details/uncleremusreturnOharri 


^oofefi  ^2  Joel  Cbantikr  parries 


UNCLE   REMUS   RETURNS.     Illustrated. 
LITTLE     MR.    THIM  BLEFI NGER     AND     HIS 

QUEER    COUNTRY.      Illustrated  by  Ouver 

Hhrford. 
MR.   RABBIT   AT    HOME.      A  Sequel  to  Little 

Mr.   Thimblefinger  and    His   Queer   Country. 

Illustrated  by  Oliver  Herford. 

THE  STORY  OF  AARON  (SO-NAMED)  THE 
SON  OF  BEN  ALL  Told  by  his  Friends  and 
Acquaintances.  Illustrated  by  Oliver  Her- 
ford. 

AARON  IN  THE  WiLDWOODS.  Illustratedby 
Oliver  Herford. 

PLANTATION  PAGEANTS.  lUustrated  by  E. 
Boyd  Smith. 

NIGHTS  WITH  UNCLE  REMUS.     Illustrated. 

UNCLE  REMUS  AND  HIS  FRIENDS.  Illus- 
trated, 

MINGO.  AND  OTHER  SKETCHES  IN  BLACK 
AND  WHITE. 

BALAAM  AND  HIS  MASTER.  AND  OTHER 
SKETCHES. 

SISTER  JANE,  HER  FRIENDS  AND  AC- 
qUAINTANCES.  A  Narrative  of  Certain 
Lvents  and  Episodes  transcribed  from  the 
Papers  of  the  late  William  Womum. 


TALES    OF   THE    HOME    FOLKS   IN   PEACE 
AND  WAR.     Illustrated. 

HOUGHTON   MIFFLIN  COMPANY 
Boston  and  New  York 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 


l),uwn  by  A     B    Proa 


BRER  RABBIT  AX    IM    EF  HE    LL  DO  ER  FAVOR  FER  ONE 
ER  HIS  OL'  time  FRIEN's  "   (^flg^  3?) 


By 

Joel  Chandler  Harris 

WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS  BY  A.  B.  FROST 
J,  M.  CONDfi 


3tt 


UNCLE  REMUS  ^^^ 
RETURNS 


i^M^ 


BOSTON  fif  NEW  YORK 

HOUGHTON  MIFFLIN  COMPANY 

Tht  Overside  Press  Cambridge 


V 


UNIVERSITY  OF  NOR  HI  CAROLINA 
AT  CHAPEL  HILL 


COFYRZGHT,  1918,  BY  ESTHER  LA  ROSE  HARRIS 


ALL   RIGHTS  RESERVED 


Published   September  rgiS 


PREFACE 

The  stories  included  in  this  volume  appeared 
during  1905-06  in  the  Metropolitan  Mag- 
azine. They  are  told  by  Uncle  Remus,  but 
the  little  boy  who  listens  to  them  is  the  son 
of  the  "  little  boy  "  of  the  early  volumes.  He 
is  visiting  his  grandmother  (''Miss  Sally  ") 
on  the  plantation  where  his  father  grew  up, 
and,  in  his  turn,  has  become  the  devoted  fol- 
lower of  the  old  darkey.  It  was  the  intention 
of  the  author  to  continue  this  series  and  to 
gather  the  stories  eventually  into  a  fifth  volume 
of  Uncle  Remus  tales.  But  his  editorial  du- 
ties on  the  Uncle  Remus  Magazine  absorbed 
most  of  the  energy  of  his  last  two  years  and  the 
projected  volume  was  not  completed. 

It  seemed  a  pity  that  these  delightful  tales 
from  the  lips  of  the  children's  dear  old  friend 


807462 


Preface 

Uncle  Remus  should  lie  forgotten  between 
the  pages  of  a  magazine^  so  they  have  been 
brought  together  in  company  with  some  char- 
acter sketches  of  the  old  man  who  recounted 
them.  The  briefs  but  vivid  and  amusing 
glimpses  of  Uncle  Remus' s  personality  con- 
tained in  the  latter^  may  serve  as  a  slight  but 
suggestive  background  for  the  tales  themselves ^ 
and  thus  afford  a  touch  of  realism  to  the  fan- 
tastic legends  so  dear  to  the  hearts  of  primitive 
people. 

May  the  friends  of  Uncle  Remus,  old  and 
young,  find  something  of  the  familiar  humor 
and  charm  in  the  stories  thus  presented,  for 
they  are  indeed  Uncle  Remus' s  '^Farewell 
Tales''! 

Julia  Collier  Harris 
March,  191 8 


CONTENTS 

Brother  Rahhifs  Bear  Hunt     .        .        .       i 

Impty-Umpty  and  the  Blacksmith    ,        .     26 

Taily-po 52 

Brother  Rabbit,  Brother  Fox,  and  Two  Fat 
Pullets 79 

How  Brother  Rabbit  brought  Family  Trouble 
on  Brother  Fox     .         .         .         .         .103 

The  Most  Beautiful  Bird  in  the  World    .  127 

Uncle  Remus  falls  a  Victim  to  the  Mumps  148 

Uncle  Remus^s  Views  on  Church  Collections  158 

Uncle  Remus^s  Political  Theories      ,         .166 

Uncle  Remus  discusses  the  True  Inward- 
ness of  the  Mule 170 

Uncle  Remus  talks  of  Hard  Times  and 
^^  Sunshine  Nigger  s^^     .         .      ^.         .  173 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

^^ Brer  Rabbit  ax  ^im  ef  heUl  do  er  favor  Jer 
one  er  his  oF  time  frien* s^^  Frontispiece 

From  a  drawing  by  A.  B.  Frost 

"0/'  Brer  B^ar  zvuz  a-comin*  like  a  pot  a- 

bilin''^ 24 

From  a  drawing  by  J.  M.  Conde 

"Or  Brer  Rabbit  peepin^  thoo  a  crack^^         44 
From  a  drawing  by  A.  B.  Frost 

^^He  grabbed  it  by  de  hack  er  de  neck  arC 

soused  it  in  de  box'*'* 48 

From  a  drawing  by  A.  B.  Frost 

^'Rise,  skin,  rise^^ 68 

From  a  drawing  by  A.  B.  Frost 

You  better  come  on  hack  here  an^  he^p  me 
wid  deze  chillun  er  yone^^  ...     94 

From  a  drawing  by  J.  M.  Conde 

^Twuz  e*en  about  all  he  kin  do  jer  ter 
keep  Brer  Fox  fum  ketchin^  'im'^    .       .124 

From  a  drawing  by  J.  M.  Conde 

Ef  he  say  de  buzzard  is  de  purtiest,  dat^s 

de  way  it  got  ter  be^^ 138 

From  a  drawing  by  J.  M.  Conde 


ce 


« 


« 


UNCLE  REMUS 
RETURNS 

BROTHER  RABBIT'S  BEAR  HUNT 

THE  little  boy  had,  naturally,  a 
good  deal  of  the  simple  faith  that 
is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  charac- 
teristics of  childhood,  but  his  training  had 
been  to  some  extent  along  the  lines  marked 
out  in  certain  periodicals  that  contain  de- 
partments in  which  mothers  are  instructed 
how  to  deal  with  children,  and  in  which  sage 
advice  is  given  by  young  men  and  young 
women,  under  names  not  their  own,  as  to 
the  training  of  youngsters. 

Young  as  he  was,  the  little  boy  had  been 
denied  pretty  much  all  the  romance  that 
belongs  to  childhood;  for  him  the  beautiful 
story  of  Santa  Claus,  with  all  the  associa- 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

tions  that  belong  thereto,  had  been  shat- 
tered. The  grandmother  deplored  it,  and 
wept  over  it  during  the  long  watches  of  the 
night  —  but  you  know  about  these  grand- 
mothers, with  their  antiquated  ideas  and 
their  old-fashioned  notions.  The  mother 
had  been  caught  in  the  net  laid  for  the  ig- 
norant, by  so-called  scientists,  and  she  re- 
garded her  own  views  (which  were  far  from 
being  her  own)  as  of  the  utmost  impor- 
tance. 

The  youngster  yearned  to  believe  the 
tales  told  by  Uncle  Remus,  but  his  mother 
managed  to  keep  the  wings  of  his  imagina- 
tion clipped  as  close  as  those  of  a  chicken 
that  we  desire  to  keep  from  flying  over  the 
garden  fence.  One  thing  about  the  stories 
that  he  failed  to  understand  was  the  re- 
markable success  of  Brother  Rabbit  in  keep- 
ing out  of  trouble.  He  was  obliged  to  iden- 
tify Uncle  Remus's  Brother  Rabbit  with  the 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

rabbits  that  he  saw  occasionally  on  the 
plantation,  and  they  were  not  only  weak, 
but  seemed  to  be  very  stupid;  they  had 
neither  claws  nor  tushes,  nor  strength  of 
limb.  He  asked  his  mother  about  it,  and  she 
gave  him  an  explanation  that  he  had  no 
desire  to  hear;  he  asked  his  grandmother, 
and  she  laughingly  referred  him  to  Uncle 
Remus.  "He  can  tell  you  about  it  much 
better  than  I  can,"  she  said. 

Thus  it  happened  that  the  little  boy  was 
compelled  to  fall  back  on  the  most  gifted 
fabulist  that  the  plantation  had  ever  known. 
He  laid  his  puzzle  before  Uncle  Remus  one 
afternoon  when  the  old  negro  had  just  fin- 
ished his  dinner,  and  was  therefore  in  a  very 
good  humor.  Apparently  the  child  had 
some  difficulty  in  making  clear  to  Uncle 
Remus  the  nature  of  his  doubts,  but  after  a 
while  he  seemed  to  understand  what  the 
youngster  wanted  to  know.  To  make  sure, 

3 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

however,  Uncle  Remus  stated  the  case  as  he 
understood  it  in  his  own  simple  way. 

"Ef  I  ain't  mighty  much  mistooken, 
honey,  you  wanter  know  how  come  Brer 
Rabbit  kin  outdo  de  yuther  creeturs  when 
he  ain't  got  no  tushes  ner  no  claws,  an'  not 
much  strenk."  The  old  negro's  eyes  twin- 
kled as  he  looked  at  the  little  boy.  "Well, 
dat's  de  ve'y  identual  thing  dat  de  tales  is 
all  about.  Look  like  he  wuz  born  little  so  he 
kin  cut  up  capers  an'  play  pranks  no  matter 
wharbouts  you  put  'im  at.  What  he  can't 
do  wid  his  foots  he  kin  do  wid  his  head,  an' 
when  his  head  git  'im  in  trouble  dat 's  deeper 
dan  what  he  counted  on,  he  puts  his  'pen'- 
ence  in  his  foots,  kaze  dar's  whar  he  keeps 
his  lippity-clip  an'  his  blickety-blick."  The 
little  boy  brightened  up,  for  it  was  the 
purely  pictorial  language  that  Uncle  Remus 
sometimes  used  that  appealed  to  his  sense 
of  the  fitness  of  things. 

4 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

"Tain't  been  mo'  dan  a  good  half  hour 
ago,"  Uncle  Remus  casually  remarked,  "dat 
I  wuz  laughin'  fit  ter  kill  'bout  de  way  Brer 
Rabbit  done  when  he  went  b'ar-huntin'.  He 
sho'  had  his  fun,  no  matter  ef  he  went 
huntin'  or  fishin',  but  when  he  tuck  a  notion 
fer  ter  go  a-huntin'  ol'  Brer  B'ar,  he  had  mo' 
fun  dan  you  kin  shake  a  stick  at.  Some  folks 
mought  not  'a'  liked  dat  kinder  fun  what 
you  kin  have  when  you  go  b'ar-huntin',  but 
Brer  Rabbit  wuz  monstus  fond  un  it,  kaze 
de  kinder  huntin'  what  he  done  wuz  a 
mighty  quare  kind,  an'  de  fun  what  he  git 
out'n  it  wuz  de  kin'  what  make  'im  laugh 
twel  he  can't  stan'  up  no  mo'  dan  a  week  ol' 
baby.  But  la!  I  'speck  I  done  make  yo' 
mammy  mad  by  tellin'  you  deze  ol'  timey 
tales  so  much.  She  look  mighty  hard  at  me 
yistiddy  when  I  went  up  dar  an'  ax  Miss 
Sally  fer  ter  gi'  me  a  piece  er  poun'  cake  ef 
she  had  any  lef  over  f'om  las'  Christmas.'* 

5 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"Why,  Christmas  has  been  gone  so  long 
that  I  had  almost  forgotten  it,"  said  the 
little  boy. 

"Dat's  so,"  Uncle  Remus  assented,  "but 
we  '11  hatter  whirl  in  an'  have  an'er  one  'fo' 
de  year's  out.  By  dat  time  you'll  be  gone 
back  home,  an'  me  an'  Miss  Sally  will  have 
sump'n  dat's  got  mo'  claws  an'  mo'  color 
dan  plain  silly-bug." 

There  was  a  long  pause,  during  which 
Uncle  Remus  watched  the  youngster  out  of 
the  corner  of  his  eye.  Presently  the  little 
fellow  stirred  uneasily,  and  then  made  this 
statement.  "I  don't  see  why  Brother  Rab- 
bit wanted  to  go  bear-hunting.  He  would  be 
in  a  worse  fix  when  he  caught  the  bear  than 
he  was  when  he  hit  and  kicked  the  tar- 
baby." 

Uncle  Remus  laughed  heartily.  "  I  'speck 
yo'  pa  done  gone  an'  tol'  you  'bout  de  tar- 
baby,  or  Brer  Rabbit  sho'  wuz  in  a  mighty 
6 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

close  place  dat  time,  but  ef  you  take 
notice,  he  ain't  stay  dar  long.  No,  suh! 
Not  him!" 

"But,  Uncle  Remus!"  exclaimed  the 
child,  "why  did  he  want  to  hunt  the  bear? 
I  don't  see  how  he  showed  his  sense  by  doing 
such  a  thing  as  that.  He  ought  to  have 
known  better." 

"Well,  honey,  you  ain't  got  no  needs  fer 
ter  pester  yo'se'f  wid  de  ups  an'  downs  er 
ol'  Brer  Rabbit.  Ef  he  got  sense,  er  ef  he 
ain't  got  none,  it  don't  make  no  diffunce 
now,  kaze  de  ol'  times  is  done  gone,  an'  ef 
'twa'n't  fer  deze  ol'  tales  nobody  would  n't 
know  dat  dey  y'ever  wuz  any  ol'  times." 
Saying  which.  Uncle  Remus  filled  his  after- 
dinner  pipe  and  turned  to  his  unfinished 
task,  whatever  it  was. 

But  the  little  boy  was  by  no  means  satis- 
fied to  let  the  matter  go  at  that.  He  wanted 
to    know   why    Brother    Rabbit    hunted 

7 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Brother  Bear,  and  how  the  hunt  ended;  and 
he  was  so  persistent  about  it  that  the  old 
negro  was  compelled  to  tell  him  the  story  in 
self-defense. 

"Dey  wuz  one  time/'  said  Uncle  Remus, 
"when  de  creeturs  had  laid  by  der  craps, 
an'  dey  ain't  got  nothin'  fer  ter  do  but  set 
down  on  a  log  an'  chaw  der  terbacker  an' 
tell  all  dey  know'd  an'  lots  mo'  besides. 
One  day  Brer  Rabbit  wuz  gwine  down  de 
road,  des  ter  be  a-gwine,  when  who  should  he 
meet  but  Brer  Fox  an'  Brer  Wolf.  Dey  wuz 
amblin'  an'  a-ramblin'  'long  tergedder,  des 
ez  chummy  ez  you  please,  laughin'  an' 
talkin',  an'  ol'  Brer  Rabbit  j'ined  in  wid  um. 
Atter  while  dey  sot  down  by  de  side  er  de 
road,  an'  got  ter  talkin'  'bout  der  neighbors 
an'  'bout  de  dull  times  in  giner'l. 

"Brer  Fox  say  dey  ain't  nothin'  'tall 
gwine  on,  no  parties,  no  picnics,  an'  no 
bobbycues.  Brer  Wolf  say  he's  a  ol'  settle 
8 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

man,  an'  he  ain't  keerin'  much  fer  parties 
an'  dem  kinder  doin's,  but  he  like  fer  ter  see 
young  folks  'joy  deyse'f  whiles  dey  er  young 
an'  soople.  Brer  Rabbit  he  up  an'  'low  dat 
dey  ain't  no  dull  times  wid  him,  kaze  it  look 
like  he  got  sump'n  n'er  fer  ter  do  eve'y  min- 
nit  er  de  day  whedder  he's  at  home  or 
whedder  he's  abroad.  Brer  Wolf,  he  ax, 
'What  you  doin'  right  now?'  an'  den  he 
look  at  Brer  Fox  an'  wunk  one  eye. 

"He  wunk  mighty  quick,  but  not  quick 
'nough  fer  ter  keep  Brer  Rabbit  fum  ketch- 
in'  a  glimp'  un  it.  Brer  Rabbit  wipe  his 
mouf  sorter  slow  like,  an'  look  up  at  de 
clouds  floatin'  by.  He  'low,  he  did,  *Well, 
frien's,  ef  I  had  n't  'a'  seed  you-all,  I'd  'a' 
been  well  on  my  way  fer  ter  look  at  my 
fish-traps,  an',  dat  done,  I  'd  'a'  come  'roun' 
by  my  turkey  blin'.  I  ain't  got  too  much 
time,  nohow  you  kin  fix  it,  an'  when  I  doe? 
set  down,  it's  a  thrip  ter  a  ginger-cake 

9 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

dat  I  draps  ter  sleep  To'  anybody  kin  head 
me  off/ 

"Brer  Wolf  say,  'Wid  me  it's  diffunt. 
When  I  lay  by  my  crap,  I  allers  take  a  little 
recess,  an'  pass  de  time  er  day  wid  my 
neighbors.' 

"Brer  Rabbit  'low,  'Dat's  what  make 
me  stop  here  a  little  minnit.  When  I 
gits  home  my  ol'  'oman  is  sho'  ter  ax  me 
who  I  seed  an'  what  dey  say,  an'  how  wuz 
der  folks  an'  der  famblies.  You  know  how 
de  wimmin  is  —  dey '11  tantalize  de  life 
out'n  you  twel  you  tells  um  who  you  seed 
an'  what  dey  had  on.  But  me!  I  ain't  got 
time  fer  ter  tarry.  I  'm  fixin'  up  fer  ter  go 
on  a  big  b'ar-hunt  termorrer,  an'  it's  a- 
gwineter  take  up  all  my  time  fer  ter  git  good 
an'  ready.  My  ol'  'oman  been  beggin'  me 
not  ter  go;  she  say  she's  all  uv  a  trimble, 
she  so  skeered  I'll  git  hurted  somehow  er 
somewhar.  But  dat's  de  way  wid  de  wim- 
lo 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

min ;  dey  make  out  dey  are  monstus  skeery, 
but  when  you  fetch  de  game  home,  dey 
allers  ready  fer  ter  clean  an'  seal'  it,  an'  fix 
it  up  fer  de  table.' 

"When  Brer  Rabbit  say  dis.  Brer  Fox 
an'  Brer  Wolf  flung  back  der  heads  an' 
laugh  fit  ter  kill.  Brer  Rabbit,  he  'low, 
*Frien's,  what's  de  joke?  Be  sociable  an' 
le'  me  laugh  wid  you.'  Sez  Brer  Wolf,  sezee, 
*We  er  laughin'.  Brer  Rabbit,  kaze  you  say 
you  gwine  b'ar-huntin'.  You  know  mighty 
well  dat  you  ain't  big  'nough  fer  ter  ketch 
no  b'ar.  Why,  I'm  lots  bigger  dan  what 
you  is,  an'  I'd  think  twice  To'  I  started 
out  fer  ter  hunt  Brer  B'ar.'  Brer  Rabbit, 
he  kinder  smole  one  er  his  ol'  time  smiles. 
He  'low,  he  did,  'Yes,  Brer  Wolf,  you  er 
lots  bigger  dan  what  I  is;  but  will  you  an' 
Brer  Fox  head  'im  off  ef  I  git  'im  on  de 
run?'  Brer  Fox,  he  up  an'  'spon',  sezee, 
*You  git  'im  on  de  run.  Brer  Rabbit,  an' 
II 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

we'll  head  'im  off;  I'll  promise  you  dat 
much  —  we'll  head  'im  off  ef  you  git  'im 
on  de  run.' 

"Brer  Rabbit  'low,  *  It's  a  bargain,  den, 
an'  we'll  shake  ban's  on  it.'  It  wuz  a  law 
'mong  de  creeturs  dat  when  dey  make  a 
bargain  an'  shuck  ban's  on  it,  dey  wa'n't  no 
way  er  gittin'  'roun'  it;  an'  so  when  Brer 
Rabbit  made  um  shake  ban's  wid  'im.  Brer 
Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  bofe  know  dat  ef  dey 
wuz  any  b'ar-hunt,  dey'd  hatter  be  on 
han'  fer  ter  head  'im  off  when  Brer  Rabbit 
got  'im  on  de  run.  Dey  shuck  ban's,  but 
dey  ain't  gi'  Brer  Rabbit  ez  hard  a  grip  ez 
dey  mought,  kaze  dey  ain't  had  no  notion  er 
gittin'  in  a  sho  'nough  b'ar-hunt.  Dat  'uz 
one  er  de  kinder  things  what  dey  wa'n't  in 
de  habits  er  doin'.  Dey  kinder  had  de  idee 
dat  Brer  Rabbit  wuz  des  a  braggin',  but 
when  he  make  um  shake  ban's,  dey  'gun 
ter  feel  sorter  skittish,  yit  dey  wa'n't  no 

12 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

gittin'  'roun'  a  bargain  what  dey  done 
shuck  han's  on. 

"Brer  Rabbit  ain't  stay  so  mighty  long 
atter  dat ;  he  say  he  gotter  go  an'  make  all 
his  'rangements  fer  ter  bag  de  game  an'  ter 
bobbycue  it  atterwuds.  He  flipped  Brer 
Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  his  so-long,  an'  ax  um 
fer  ter  meet  'im  at  de  same  place  de  nex' 
day.  'Meet  me  right  here,  frien's,'  sez  ol' 
Brer  Rabbit,  sezee,  'an'  I'll  show  you 
sump'n  dat '11  kinder  stir  you  up  an' make 
you  feel  like  dat  dey's  sump'n  gwine  on 
roun'  here  same  ezwhat  dey  is  indej'inin' 
county,  whar  dey  hunt  b'ar  eve'y  day  in 
de  year  'cep'  Sunday.' 

"Dey  say  dey'd  be  dar,  ef  nothin'  don't 
happen,  an'  dey  ax  Brer  Rabbit  what  must 
dey  fetch  fer  ter  he'p  'im  out,  an'  he  'spon' 
dat  all  he  want  um  ter  do  is  ter  head  Brer 
B'ar  off  when  he  git  'im  on  de  run.  'I'll 
show  you  whar  ter  take  yo'  stan','  sez  ol' 

13 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Brer  Rabbit,  sezee,  ^  an'  all  in  de  roun'  worl* 
you  got  ter  do  is  ter  stan'  yo'  groun'  an'  not 
git  skeered  when  you  see  'im  comin',  an' 
make  a  little  fuss  like  you  gwine  ter  ketch 
'im.  But  you  don't  hatter  put  yo'  han'  on 
'im;  I'll  do  all  de  ketchin'  dat's  gwineter 
be  done.  All  I  ax  you  is  ter  stan'  whar  I'll 
show  you  an'  make  out  you  gwineter  he'p 
me.  All  you  got  ter  do  is  zackly  what  you 
say  you'll  do  —  head  'im  off  when  you 


see  'im  comin'.' 


"Brer  Rabbit  went  on  down  de  road, 
singin'  one  er  de  ol'  time  chunes,  an'  Brer 
Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  sot  whar  he  lef  um  an' 
look  at  one  an'er.  Atter  while,  oV  Brer 
Wolf  say,  sezee,  'What  de  name  er  good- 
ness you  reckon  he's  up  ter?'  Brer  Wolf 
grinned  one  dem  ar  grins  what  make  col' 
chills  run  up  an'  down  yo'  back.  He  'low, 
he  did,  'He  des  tryin'  fer  ter  fool  us;  he  done 
got  de  idee  dat  we  er  skeer'd.  Ef  we  go  dar. 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

he'll  say  he  mighty  sorry  dat  he  ain't  fine 
Brer  B'ar,  an'  ef  we  don't  go  dar,  he'll 
laugh  an'  tell  it  eve'ywhar  dat  we  wuz 
fear'd  fer  ter  stan'  up  ter  our  part  er  de  bar- 
gain/ or  Brer  Fox  grinned  his  kinder  grin, 
an'  say,  sezee,  'We'll  be  dar,  sho!'  " 

At  this  point  Uncle  Remus  paused  to 
indulge  in  a  hearty  laugh,  and  it  was  some 
little  time  before  he  resumed.  He  laughed 
so  long  indeed,  that  the  little  boy  was  moved 
to  ask  him  what  he  had  found  that  was  so 
funny.  This  inquiry  seemed  to  have  no 
effect  on  the  old  negro.  He  continued  to 
laugh,  and  when  he  could  laugh  no  more, 
he  chuckled,  all  the  time  watching  the  little 
boy,  although  he  pretended  to  be  looking 
in  another  direction.  Finally,  however,  he 
became  more  serious,  and  settled  himself 
in  the  attitude  he  always  assumed  when 
telling  a  story. 

"Well,  suh,  Brer  Rabbit  went  down  de 

IS 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

road  a  piece,  an'  got  off  in  de  bushes,  an' 
lay  down  an'  des  roll'd  over  an'  over  wid 
laughin'.  Bimeby  he  lay  right  still,  an'  a 
little  bird,  settin'  up  in  de  tree,  holler  out, 
'Run  here!  Run  here!'  'N'er  bird  say, 
'What  de  matter?  What  de  matter?'  De 
fust  bird  make  answer,  'Brer  Rabbit  dead! 
Brer  Rabbit  dead!'  T'er  bird  say,  'Don't 
you  b'lieve  it!  Don't  you  b'lieve  it!'  Brer 
Rabbit  lay  dar,  he  did,  twel  he  got  good  an' 
rested,  an'  bimeby  he  jump  up  an'  crack 
his  heels  tergedder,  an'  put  out  fer  home 
like  de  booger-man  wuz  atter  'im. 

"He  went  home,  he  did,  an'  split  up 
some  kin'lin'  fer  his  ol'  'oman  fer  ter  git 
supper  wid,  an'  frail  out  four  five  er  his 
chillun,  an'  den  he  sot  in  de  shade  an' 
smoke  his  seegyar.  Atter  he  done  e't  sup- 
per, he  comb  his  ha'r,  an'  tuck  down  his 
walkin'-cane,  an'  put  out  thoo  de  woods, 
fer  ter  go  ter  de  place  whar  Brer  B'ar  live 
i6 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

at.  He  got  dar,  atter  so  long  a  time,  an* 
hello'd  de  house,  an'  ol*  Brer  B'ar  come 
shufflin'  out  an'  ax  him  in.  01'  Miss  B'ar 
sot  out  de  cheers,  atter  dustin'  um  wid  her 
apern,  an'  Brer  B'ar  an'  ol'  Brer  Rabbit 
sot  dar  an'  confabbed  des  like  two  ol' 
cronies. 

"Atter  while.  Brer  Rabbit  ax  Brer  B'ar 
is  he  hear  de  lates'  news,  an'  Brer  B'ar  say 
he  don't  'speck  he  is,  kaze  he  ain't  went  out 
much,  he  been  so  busy  cleanin'  de  grass 
out'n  his  roas'n-y'ear  patch.  Brer  Rabbit 
pull  his  mustaches,  an'  look  at  Brer  B'ar 
right  hard.  He  'low,  he  did,  'Well,  suh, 
dey's  big  news  floatin'  roun'.  Brer  Wolf 
an'  Brer^Fox,  dey  say  some  un  been  gittin' 
in  der  roas'n-y'ear  patch,  an'  dey  say  dey 
done  seed  some  tracks  in  dar  what  look 
mighty  s'picious,  mo'  speshually  when  dey 
got  on  der  fur-seein'  specks.' 

"Or  Brer  B'ar  sorter  shuffle  his  foots  an* 

17 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

cross  his  legs.  He  say,  'What  did  dey  do 
den?  Why  n't  dey  foller  up  deze  yer  tracks 
what  dey  seed  so  plain?'  Brer  Rabbit  'low, 
sezee,  '  It  seem  like  dey  know'd  purty  well 
whar  de  tracks  wuz  gwine  ter  lead  um,  an' 
dey  wuz  fear'd  fer  ter  foller  um,  less'n  dey 
had  mo'  comp'ny  fer  ter  come  wid  um/ 
or  Brer  B'ar  lean  down  he  did,  an'  knock 
de  ashes  out'n  his  pipe,  an'  den  he  look  at 
Brer  Rabbit  an'  grin  twel  his  mouf  look 
red  an'  hot.  He  say,  'Fear'd  fer  ter  foller 
de  tracks,  wuz  dey?  Well,  you  can't  blame 
um  much,  mo'  speshually  ef  dey  know'd 
de  tracks.  What  dey  gwine  do  'bout  it? 
Dey  ain't  gwineter  des  set  down  an'  let 
der  roas'n-y'ears  walk  off  down  de  lane,  is 
dey?' 

"Brer  Rabbit  kinder  belt  his  head  on 
one  side,  an'  look  at  Brer  B'ar.  He  'low, 
sezee,  *I  wuz  des  comin'  ter  dat.  Brer  B'ar, 
when  you  broke  in  on  me.  De  news  what 

l8 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

I  hear  is  dat  Brer  Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  is 
gwineter  have  a  big  b'ar-hunt.  Dey  done 
sent  der  invites  ter  some  er  de  neighbors, 
an'  de  neighbors  will  do  de  drivin',  whiles 
dey  does  de  ketchin'.  Dey  ax'd  me  ef  I 
would  n't  he'p  do  de  drivin'  an'  I  tol'  um  dat 
I'd  be  mo'  dan  glad.'  Brer  B'ar  look  hard 
at  Brer  Rabbit  an'  Brer  Rabbit  look  in  de 
fierplace.  *You  said  dat?  You  said  you'd 
be  mo'  dan  glad?'  sez  ol'  Brer  B'ar,  sezee. 
Brer  Rabbit,  he  'low,  *I  mos'  sholy  did.  I 
tol'  um  dat  I  'd  git  you  started,  an'  den  dey 
kin  do  de  ketchin'.' 

"Or  Brer  B'ar  laugh,  an'  when  he  do 
dat,  it  soun'  like  thunder  a-grumblin'  way 
out  in  de  hills.  He  say,  sezee,  'How  much 
uv  a  fambly  is  dey  got.  Brer  Rabbit?'  An' 
Brer  Rabbit,  he  'spon',  sezee,  *I  can't  tell 
you.  Brer  B'ar,  kaze  I  ain't  neighbored 
wid  um  fer  de  longest.  I  don't  like  um,  an' 
dey  don't  like  me  —  an'  dat's  de  reason 

19 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

dat  I  come  fer  ter  tell  you  de  news.  I  had  de 
idee  dat  maybe  you'd  like  fer  ter  take  part 
in  dis  big  b'ar-hunt  dat  dey  gwineter  have/ 
Brer  B'ar  kinder  scratch  his  head  an'  lick 
his  paw  fer  ter  slick  over  de  place.  He  say, 
sezee,  *It  seems  like  I'm  bleedz  ter  be  dar, 
kaze  ef  I  ain't,  dey  won't  be  no  fun  'tall.' 
"Well,  dey  sot  dar,  dey  did,  an'  lay  der 
plans,  an'  laugh  fit  ter  kill  at  de  ol'  jokes 
dat  dey  swapped  wid  one  an'er,  an'  de  ol' 
tales  dey  tol'.  Dey  sot  dar,  dey  did,  twel 
ol'  Miss  B'ar  hatter  come  in  an'  tell  um  fer 
goodness'  sakes  ter  go  ter  bed,  kaze  ef  dey 
sot  up  an'  went  on  dat  away,  dey  won't  be 
no  sleepin'  fer  her  an'  de  chillun.  Brer  Rab- 
bit jump  up  when  he  hear  dis,  an'  tell  um 
all  good  night,  an'  put  out  fer  home,  an' 
when  he  git  dar  he  can't  git  ter  bed  fer 
laughin'.  01'  Miss  Rabbit,  she  stuck  her 
head  out  fum  under  de  kiwer,  an'  'low, 
^What  de  name  er  goodness  is  de  matter? 
20 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

You  sholy  must  'a'  heern  sump'n  outda- 
cious  in  yo'  rambles,  an'  now  dat  you  done 
woke  me  up,  you  des  ez  well  ter  tell  me 
'bout  it,'  but  ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  he's  dat 
tickled  dat  he  can't  fish  up  words  fer  ter 
tell  'er;  all  he  kin  do  is  ter  laugh  an'  cough, 
an'  wheeze  an'  sneeze,  an'  keep  dis  up  twel 
it  look  like  he  bleeze  ter  strankle  er  git 
smifflicated.  But  you  better  b'lieve  dat  ol' 
Miss  Rabbit  sot  up  wid  'im  twel  she  fin' 
out  all  'bout  it.  An'  she  ain't  laugh  when 
he  tell  'er;  she  shuck  'er  head  an'  'low, 
'You'll  keep  on  wid  yo'  foolishness  twel 
some  er  dem  yuther  creeturs  will  ketch  you 
in  yo'  own  trap  —  an'  den  what  me  an'  de 
chilluns  gwine  do?'  01'  Brer  Rabbit  laugh 
an'  say  dat  dey's  been  widders  an'  noffuns 
y'ever  sence  de  worl'  'gun  ter  roll. 

''Now,  Brer  Rabbit  done  tell  Brer  Wolf 
an'  Brer  Fox  dat  de  b'ar-hunt  wuz  gwineter 
come  off  bright  an'  early,  an'  dat  dey  mus' 

21 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

be  dar  whar  he  lef  um  at,  an^  sho  'nough, 
when  he  went  down  de  road,  dar  dey  wuz. 
He  know'd  dat  dey 'd  been  talkin'  'bout  'im, 
kaze  dey  look  right  sheepish  when  he  come 
up  behime  um.  He  ax  um  is  dey  ready,  an' 
dey  say  dey  is,  an'  he  tell  um  fer  ter  come 
on,  kaze  dey  ain't  got  no  time  fer  ter  lose 
ef  dey  gwine  ter  git  any  b'ar  meat  dat  day. 
"Dey  went  'long,  dey  did,  but  when  dey 
git  ter  whar  de  bushes  wuz  thick  an'  de 
shadders  black,  Brer  Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox 
kinder  hung  back.  Brer  Rabbit  see  dis,  an' 
he  say  he  hope  dey  ain't  noways  bashful, 
kaze  ef  dey  gwineter  he'p  him  ketch  de  b'ar, 
dey  got  ter  stan'  up  like  deyer  well  an'  not 
be  droopy  like  deyer  sick.  Bimeby  dey 
come  ter  de  place  whar  dey  wuz  a  blin'  paff 
runnin'  thoo  de  woods,  an'  Brer  Rabbit, 
he  say  dat  he  want  um  ter  stan'  right  dar, 
an'  ef  de  b'ar  come  by  dey  wuz  ter  he'p  'im 
ketch  'im. 

22 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

"Sez  or  Brer  Rabbit,  sezee,  Tm  a-hop- 
in*  dat  I  '11  ketch  'im  'fo'  he  gits  dis  fur,  an' 
ef  I  does,  I'll  holler;  but  ef  he's  too  quick 
fer  me  —  ef  he  gits  de  idee  dat  I  'm  atter 
'im,  an'  starts  ter  run  'fo'  I  gits  my  han' 
on  'im,  mo'  dan  likely  he'll  come  dis  way. 
Ef  he  do,  des  stan'  yo'  groun',  kaze  I  '11  be 
right  behime  'im ;  des  make  out  you  gwine- 
ter  grab  'im  an'  hoi'  on  ter  'im  twel  I  kin 
git  'im,  an'  den  our  day's  wu'k  will  be  done/ 
Brer  Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  say  dey'U  do  des 
like  Brer  Rabbit  tell  um,  an'  dey  tuck  der 
places.  Wid  dat,  Brer  Rabbit  went  lopin' 
thoo  de  woods  des  ez  gaily  ez  a  race-hoss. 

"De  place  whar  Brer  Rabbit  make  um 
take  der  stan'  wa'n't  so  mighty  fur  fum 
de  place  whar  ol'  Brer  B'ar  live  at,  an' 
'twa'n't  skacely  no  time  'fo'  Brer  B'ar  wuz 
on  de  run,  wid  Brer  Rabbit  close  behime 
'im.  Brer  Fox  an'  Brer  Wolf  hear  a  mighty 
racket  gwine  on  in  de  woods  des  like  a 
23 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

harrycane  wuz  a-churnin'  up  de  leaves  an' 
de  trash,  an',  mos'  'fo'  dey  know  it,  here 
comes  Brer  B'ar,  wid  Brer  Rabbit  close  be- 
hime  'im.  Dey 'd  'a'  got  out'n  de  way,  but 
dey  hear  Brer  Rabbit  holler,  'Head  'im  off, 
dar!  Head  'im  off!  Hoi'  'im  twel  I  git  dar!' 
or  Brer  B'ar  wuz  a-comin'  like  a  pot  a- 
bilin'.  His  mouf  wuz  wide  open  an'  his 
tongue  hangin'  out,  an'  de  blue  smoke  riz 
fum  'im  eve'y  time  he  fetched  a  pant. 

"Brer  Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  stood  der  groun', 
kaze  dey  fear'd  dat  Brer  Rabbit  would 
have  de  laugh  on  um  ef  dey  broke  an'  run. 
Dey  stood  dar,  dey  did,  an'  do  like  dey 
wuz  gwine  ter  ketch  Brer  B'ar.  He  come 
on  wid  his  head  down,  an'  his  breff  comin', 
hot,  an'  ez  he  run,  he  fetched  Brer  Wolf  a 
swipe  wid  one  han'  an'  Brer  Fox  a  wipe 
wid  t'er  han'. 

"Well,"  said  Uncle  Remus,  looking  hard 
at  the  little  boy,  "dey  ain't  no  use  fer  ter 
24 


"ol'  brer  b'ar  wuz  a-comin'  like  a  pot  a-bilin' 


Brother  Rabbit's  Bear  Hunt 

go  on  wid  dis  tale.  De  swipe  dat  Brer  B'ar 
fetched  um  come  mighty  nigh  takin'  out 
der  vitals,  an'  ef  you  never  is  hear  hollerin' 
befo',  you  mought  'a'  heern  it  den.  But 
Brer  B'ar,  he  kep'  on  a-runnin',  wid  Brer 
Rabbit  atter  him,  an'  ez  dey  run,  dey  laugh 
fit  ter  kill;  an'  fum  dat  day  ter  dis.  Brer 
Wolf  an'  Brer  Fox  been  givin'  ol'  Brer  B'ar 
all  de  elbow  room  dat  he  needs  by  day  er 
by  night." 

"Did  Brother  Bear  hurt  them  very 
much?"  asked  the  little  boy. 

"Hurt  um!  Why,  he  ripped  open  der 
hides  fum  y'ear-socket  ter  tailholt.  Fer  de 
time  bein'  dey  wuz  mighty  nigh  mint." 


IMPTY-UMPTY  AND  THE 
BLACKSMITH 

LATE  one  afternoon,  when  the  little 
boy  was  trying  his  best  to  slip  up 
behind  Uncle  Remus  and  frighten 
him  with  a  big  "Boo!"  he  heard  noises  that 
caused  him  to  pause  in  his  tracks  and  lis- 
ten with  all  his  ears.  The  sound  he  heard 
was  the  voice  of  the  old  man,  and  he  seemed 
to  be  in  deep  distress.  Apparently  some- 
thing had  happened  that  the  child  had  not 
heard  of.  It  was  something  serious,  too, 
for,  although  the  old  man  was  explaining 
something  to  some  one  in  a  low  tone,  he 
frequently  paused  to  sigh  and  groan.  The 
child's  sympathy  was  aroused  to  such  an 
extent  that  he  forgot  or  forbore  to  put  in 
execution  the  plan  he  had  in  mind  when 
he  started  to  the  cabin.    After  listening 

26 


Impty-Umpty 

awhile  in  a  futile  effort  to  discover  the  na- 
ture of  the  trouble,  he  boldly  entered  the 
door,  and  looked  around  the  room  which, 
for  the  lack  of  windows,  was  not  very  well 
lighted.  He  was  surprised  to  find  that  the 
old  man  was  alone,  and  more  surprised  still 
to  find  that  he  was  gazing  at  the  rafters 
with  a  smile  of  satisfaction  on  his  weather- 
beaten  features. 

"What  is  the  matter.  Uncle  Remus?" 
asked  the  child. 

"Matter!"  exclaimed  the  old  man.  "Dey 
may  be  sump'n  de  matter  wid  you,  honey, 
but  dey  ain't  nothin'  'tall  de  matter  wid  me." 

"Why,  I  heard  you  talking  to  some  one, 
and  groaning;  that's  the  way  people  do 
when  they  have  trouble." 

"  Ef  I  wuz  talkin'  ter  anybody,  dey  must 

'a'  slipped  out  when  you  slipped  in;  ef  dey 

ain't  done  dat  deyer  in  here  right  now.  Ez 

fer  groanin',  dat's  'bout  all  dat  folks  kin 

27 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

do  when  dey  gits  ez  ol'  ez  what  I  is.  By 
good  rights  dey  oughter  groan  eve'y  time 
dey  draws  der  breff/' 

"But  you  were  groaning  just  as  though 
you  had  a  terrible  pain,  and  needed  some 
of  the  medicine  that  mother  gives  to  me 
when  I  have  the  stomach  ache." 

"De  ailment  what  I  had,  honey,  wuz 
some'rs  on  de  right  han'  side  er  my  min'. 
When  I  got  word  fum  a  little  bird  dat  you 
wuz  comin'  down  here  fer  ter  slip  up  on  me 
an'  skeer  me,  it  put  me  in  min'  er  de  time 
when  yo'  pappy  wuz  'bout  yo'  age;  an'  den 
I  got  ter  ramblin'  back  twel  my  'membunce 
hit  me  a  whack  dat  come  mighty  nigh 
knockin'  me  flat.  Sump'n  up'd  an'  said  dat 
one  er  der  tales  what  I  tol'  'im  in  dem  days 
wuz  de  wrong  thing  —  yasser,  de  wrong 
thing!  Dat  'uz  when  you  hear  me  talkin' 
an'  groanin'.  I  dunner  how  I'm  gwineter 
git  ter  feelin'  much  better  less'n  somebody 
28 


Impty-Umpty 

up  dar  at  de  big  house  sen's  me  some  er  de 
truck  what  gi's  you  de  stomach  ache  — 
ressins,  an'  minch  pies,  an'  appile  dumper- 
lin's.  It  makes  me  right  hongry  when  I 
think  'bout  tellin'  yo'  pappy  de  wrong  thing 
when  he  wa'n't  nothin'  but  a  little  bit  er 
chap.  But  I  done  de  best  I  know'd  how." 

"What  tale  was  it,  Uncle  Remus?"  the 
little  boy  inquired. 

"  'Twant  needer  mo'  ner  less  dan  dat  ol' 
time  tale  'bout  *  Impty-Umpty  an'  de  Black- 
smiff.'  I  gun  it  out  des  ez  'twuz  gun  ter  me, 
but  'twuz  de  wrong  thing  —  an'  de  wrong 
thing  can't  be  made  de  right  thing.  Any- 
body'11  tell  you  dat." 

"Impty-Umpty!"  exclaimed  the  child, 
"why,  what  is  that?" 

"It's  des  Somebody's  name,"  said  Uncle 
Remus,  with  a  sigh.   "Some  folks  call  'im 
one  thing  an'  some  an'er.  Ain't  you  nevei 
hear  yo'  pappy  talk  'bout  'im?" 
29 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"No,  I  never  did,"  replied  the  little  boy. 

"Not  when  he  drap  his  collar  button  on 
de  flo',  an'  it  roll  way  un'  de  buryo?"  The 
child  shook  his  head  solemnly.  "Is  you 
right  sho'  you  ain't  hear  'im  call  a  name 
when  he  can't  fin'  de  button?"  persisted  the 
old  man,  leaning  back  in  his  chair.  He 
laughed  heartily  when  he  saw  the  light  of 
comprehension  dawning  in  the  child's  eyes. 
"Or  Impty-Umpty  is  got  mo'  names  dan 
yo'  kin  count  on  yo'  fingers.  Some  calls  'im 
Satan,  some  calls  'im  de  01'  Boy,  some  calls 
^im  Cloots,  an'  some  calls  'im  what  yo' 
pappy  do,  an'  he  answers  ter  all  un  um; 
an'  dey's  times  off  an'  on,  when  he'll  come 
long  'fo'  you  call  'im.  Fum  all  I  hear,  he's 
e'en  'bout  de  busiest  creetur  dat  yever  run 
'bout  wid  two  behime  legs  an'  a  tail  ter 
boot. 

"Well,  de  tale  what  I  done  gone  an'  tol' 
yo'  pappy  'bout  ol'  Impty-Umpty  an'  de 

30 


Impty-Umpty 

Blacksmiff  wuz  de  wrong  thing,  an'  I  dun- 
ner  whedder  ter  righten  it  wld  him  er  wid 
you.  It  seem  like  youer  de  handiest,  yit  ef 
I  righten  it  wid  you,  Fll  hatter  git  yo' 
promise  fer  ter  righten  it  wid  him/' 

The  little  boy  was  enthusiastic  in  mak- 
ing the  promise,  so  much  so  that  Uncle 
Remus  was  compelled  to  wipe  an  untimely 
smile  from  his  mouth,  using  the  back  of  his 
hand  for  the  purpose.  He  seemed  to  be  in 
no  hurry  to  "righten"  things,  however,  for 
instead  of  beginning  the  story  at  once  he 
leaned  his  head  against  the  wall  as  though 
he  were  about  to  take  a  nap,  this  being  his 
favorite  attitude  when  he  wanted  to  doze. 
The  little  boy  was  not  as  impatient  as  his 
father  had  been  under  the  same  circum- 
stances. He  sat  perfectly  quiet,  awaiting 
the  good  pleasure  of  Uncle  Remus.  Peep- 
ing from  under  his  eyelashes,  the  old  negro 
was  again  compelled  to  employ  the  back 

31 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

of  his  hand  to  smother  a  smile.  This  seemed 
to  arouse  him. 

"  I  ain't  been  'sleep,  is  I  ?  How  fur  did  I 
git  wid  de  tale?" 

"Why,  you  did  n't  even  begin  to  tell  it,'* 
said  the  child. 

"Well,  suh!"  exclaimed  Uncle  Remus, 
with  well-feigned  surprise.  "Now,  ain't 
dat  too  much?  One  thing  I  notices,  an'  dat 
ain't  two  —  I  notices  dat  de  mo'  Anny 
Dominoes  what  crawls  over  me,  de  bigger 
my  fergittance  gits,  an'  I  boun'  it'll  come 
ter  dat  pass  dat  de  time '11  come  when  I'll 
fergit  ter  eat;  an'  dey  ain't  nobody  dat  I 
knows  un  dat's  gwine  ter  come  'long  an* 
put  vittles  in  my  mouf.  Dat's  what!" 

The  little  boy  said  not  a  word  in  response 
to  this,  nor  did  he  smile.  The  trouble  with 
him  was  that  he  was  inclined  to  take  Uncle 
Remus  too  seriously.  This  made  the  old 
man  more  solemn  than  he  would  have  been 


I 


Impty-Umpty 

otherwise,  but  he  began  very  bravely,  in 
spite  of  his  fear  that  the  simple  tale  he  had 
to  tell  would  fail  to  appeal  to  a  youngster 
who  had  had  nearly  all  his  mischievousness 
trained  away  under  the  modern  system  of 
parental  instruction. 

*'One  time,"  said  Uncle  Remus,  "not 
yisteddy,  ner  de  day  befo',  but  'way  back 
yander  in  de  days  when  folks  knowed  lots 
mo'  an'  a  heap  less  dan  what  dey  knows 
now,  der  wuz  a  blacksmiff  what  had  his  shop 
at  de  big  cross-roads.  It  seem  like  dat  ef 
folks  wuz  gwine  anywhar  er  comin'  back 
dey  bleeze  ter  pass  dish  yer  blacksmiff  shop- 
'Tain't  make  no  diffunce  whar  dey  gwine, 
er  whar  dey  comin'  fum,  de  blacksmiff  an' 
his  shop  wuz  right  spang  on  der  road.  Time 
an'  time  ag'in  some  un  um'd  set  right  flat 
on  de  groun'  an'  try  fer  ter  figger  out  how 
an'  why  'twuz  dat  dey'd  hatter  pass  dis 
shop,  no  matter  which  way  dey  started  ner 

33 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

which  way  dey  come  back.  Dey  figger'd  an* 
figger'd,  but  'tain't  do  um  a  grain  er  good. 
In  de  due  time,  dey'd  hear  a  whangin'  an'  a 
clangin',  an'  when  dey'd  look  up,  dar  wuz 
de  shop,  lookin'  red  inside  on  'count  de  fier, 
an'  dar  wuz  de  bellus  a-wheezin'  an'  a- 
snortin',  an'  de  big  sledge  hammer  a-bang- 
in'  on  de  anvil,  twel  it  look  like  it'd  bust  it 
wide  open.  No  diffunce  what  road  dey  tuck 
dey'd  hatter  pass  de  shop,  an'  ef  dey  pass 
de  shop  dey'd  hatter  see  de  red  light  a- 
shinin'  an'  hear  de  sledge  hammer  a-bangin'. 
"De  shop  got  so  het  up  in  de  daytime 
dat  it  belt  de  heat  all  night,  an'  de  black- 
smiff  ain't  been  workin'  dar  long  'fo'  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit  fin'  out  dat  ef  he  want  ter  git  warm 
an'  feel  good  all  he  had  ter  do  wuz  ter  creep 
un'  de  do'  an'  set  by  de  fier  an'  nod.  In  dem 
days  folks  had  a  better  'pinion  er  de  cree- 
turs  dan  what  dey  got  now,  an'  dey  wuz  mo' 
familious  wid  um  dan  what  dey  is  now.  But 

34 


Impty-Umpty 

de  blacksmiff  wuz  so  big  an'  strong  dat  he 
sot  eve'ybody  an'er  kin'  er  pattern.  He 
wan't  skeer'd  er  de  biggest  creetur  dat  come 
'long,  let  um  be  rhinossyhoss  er  hippytamy- 
pottymus. 

"Ez  fer  Brer  Rabbit,  he  wan't  nowhar. 
He  wuz  lots  bigger  in  dem  days  dan  what 
he  is  now,  but  he  wan't  no  match  in  muscle 
fer  de  man  what  been  slingin'  de  sledge 
hammer  —  an'  so  dar  'twuz,  de  blacksmiff 
wid  big  arms  an'  strong  legs,  an'  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit,  wid  nothin'  but  a  long  head  an* 
big  y'ears.  01'  Brer  Rabbit  had  a  mighty 
habit  er  settin'  up  late  at  night.  He'd  set 
up  so  late,  a-playin'  his  pranks  an'  a-cuttin' 
up  his  capers,  dat  when  he  woke  up  de  nex' 
mornin'  he  wuz  e'en  'bout  ez  sleepy  ez  he 
had  been  de  night  befo' ;  an'  dey  wuz  times 
when  he  ain't  wake  up  twel  he  hear  de 
blacksmiff  fumblin'  at  de  do'.  An'  mo' 
speshually  dey  wuz  one    time  when    de 

35 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

black3inifT  walk  right  in  on  'im  an'  foun' 
'im  settin'  up  close  ter  de  place  whar  de 
fier  done  been  at. 

"Stidder  shooin'  Brer  Rabbit  away  like 
he  oughter  done  ef  he  ain't  want  'im  dar, 
de  blacksmiff  flung  a  hammer  at  'im,  an'  ef 
it  had  'a'  hit  'im  dey  wouldn't  'a'  been 
'nough  un  'im  lef  fer  ter  stop  a  hole  in  a 
chigger's  house.  But  Brer  Rabbit  dodge 
de  hammer,  an'  went  scootin'  ter  de  briar 
patch  whar  he  born  an'  bred  at.  He  went 
out  dar,  he  did,  an'  felt  er  hisse'f  all  over  fer 
ter  see  ef  he  wuz  all  dar,  an'  den,  when  he 
fin'  out  dat  he  wuz,  he  jump  up  an'  crack 
his  heels  tergedder  an'  wunk  one  eye  like 
somebody  done  tell  'im  a  great  secret. 

"He  sot  out  dar  in  de  briar  patch  an' 
study  what  he  gwine  do  nex',  an'  'long  'bout 
dat  time  who  should  come  'long  dat  way 
but  ol'  man  Billy  Rickerson-Dickerson. 
Knowin'   Brer  Rabbit  long  an'  well  he 

36 


Impty-Umpty 

stopped  fer  ter  pass  de  time  er  day  an'  ax 
de  news,  an'  he  ain't  been  dar  long  'fo' 
Brer  Rabbit  tol'  'im  many  a  long  tale  dat 
nobody  ain't  never  hear  befo'.  By  de  time 
he  wuz  ready  fer  ter  sing  out  his  so-long 
Brer  Rabbit  ax  'im  ef  he'll  do  er  favor  fer 
one  er  his  ol'  time  frien's,  an'  Mr.  Ricker- 
son-Dickerson  'low  dat  he  will.  'Well, 
den,'  sez  ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  sezee,  'when  you 
er  passin'  de  blacksmifif  shop,  des  poke  yo' 
head  in  de  do',  an'  say,  "Frien',  you'll  have 
comp'ny  soon,"  an'  de  nex'  passer-by  you 
meet,  tell  um  ter  do  de  same.' 

"Well,  suh,  de  word  went  'roun',  an' 
'twan't  long  'fo'  eve'ybody  dat  come  by  de 
blacksmifif  shop  had  de^same  sayin'  in  der 
mouf —  'Frien',  you'll  have  comp'ny  soon,' 
—  an'  dis  sot  de  blacksmifif  ter  studyin'. 
He  ax  hisse'f  what  dey  all  mean  by  dat, 
an'  it  got  so  atter  while  dat  he'd  put  de  hot 
i'on  on  de  anvil  an'  let  it  git  stone  col'  be- 

37 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

fo'  he  hit  a  lick  wid  de  hammer.  He  wuz  so 
worried  dat  he  can't  sleep  at  night,  an'  de 
nigh  neighbors  wondered  when  dey  hear 
de  bellus  a-snortin'  an'  de  hammer  a-bang- 
in'.  Dey  say  ter  deyse'f  dat  de  blacksmiff 
bleeze  ter  have  a  mighty  heap  er  work  ter 
do,  an'  dey  dunner  whar  it  all  come  fum, 
ner  who  wuz  havin'  it  done. 

"Bimeby,  atter  so  long  a  time,  de  neigh- 
bors got  so  dat  dey'd  drap  in  on  'im  atter 
supper  an'  set  an'  talk  an'  dodge  sparks 
whiles  de  blacksmiff  run  de  bellus  an'  swung 
de  hammer.  One  night,  de  talk  turned  on 
de  or  Boy  an'  his  b'longin's.  De  fier  burnt 
so  blue  an'  de  sparks  flew'd  so  fur,  dat  dey 
can't  he'p  but  think  'bout  de  Bad  Place, 
an'  wid  dat,  dey  bleeze  ter  think  'bout  ol' 
Impty-Umpty,  de  one  what  runs  it.  De 
blacksmiff  wuz  monstus  busy,  but  he  ain't 
so  busy  but  what  he  kin  hear  what  dey 
talkin'  'bout.  He  blowed  de  bellus,  an'  he 

38 


Impty-Umpty 

hammered  de  red-hot  i'on,  but  he  ain't  los' 
none  er  der  talk,  speshually  when  dey  'gun 
ter  talk  'bout  ol'  Impty-Umpty. 

"He  lissened,  he  did,  but  he  keep  on  a- 
makin'  what  he  started  fer  ter  make  when 
he  fust  got  word  dat  he  wuz  gwine  ter  have 
comp'ny,  an'  'fo'  dey  got  thoo  tellin'  what 
dey  know'd  'bout  ol'  Impty-Umpty,  he 
done  finish  it.  He  sot  it  up  on  de  anvil  an' 
pushed  all  'roun'  wid  his  tongs,  an'  dem 
what  wuz  settin'  dar  sees  dat  'twuz  a  box 
—  a  big  i'on  box  wid  de  sides  all  welted  ter- 
gedder,  an'  de  top  fixt  so  dat  he  kin  welt  dat 
up  tight  de  minnit  he  got  good  an'  ready. 

"He  turn  de  box  all  'roun'  an'  'roun',  an' 
den  he  wipe  de  sweat  ofl'n  his  forrerd  an' 
grin.  He  'low,  'Dar's  a  box  what  is  a  box; 
ef  anybody  kin  beat  it,  le'  'im  do  it.  Eve'y- 
body  been  tellin'  me  I'm  gwineter  have 
comp'ny  soon,  an'  I  'speck  it  mus'  be  so. 
But  dey  can't  come  'fo'  I'm  ready  fer  um.' 

39 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Den  he  ax  um  all  how  come  dey  hatter  talk 
'bout  ol'  Impty-Umpty,  an'  what  do  dey 
know  'bout  'im  anyhow.  Dis  start  de  talk 
ag'in,  an'  ef  de  01'  Boy  had  'a'  had  any 
character  dey'd  'a'  mint  it  right  den  an' 
dar.  Dey  say  dat  dey  ain't  but  three  things 
dat  he  can't  turn  hisse'f  inter  whilst  he 
roamin'  'roun'  de  worl'  seekin'  whomsoever 
he  mought  destroy;  one  wuz  a  hog,  one 
wuz  a  monkey,  an'  one  wuz  a  cat. 

"De  blacksmiff  laugh  an'  say  dat  ef  ol' 
Impty-Umpty  is  gwine  ter  be  de  comp'ny 
dey  er  talkin'  'bout,  well  an'  good,  kaze  he 
des  ez  ready  fer  'im  ez  what  he  is  fer  any- 
body else.  He  ain't  no  sooner  say  dis,  dan 
a  tall  black  man  stepped  inside  de  do'  an' 
bowed,  wid  'Howdy,  marsters  an'  frien's!' 
Dey  all  looked  at  'im  up  an'  down,  an'  well 
dey  mought,  kaze  never  in  all  dey  born 
days  is  dey  see  anybody  like  dat.  He  wuz 
black,  but  he  ain't  look  like  no  nigger.  His 
.40 


Impty-Umpty 

eyes  shined  like  er  piece  er  glass  in  de  moon- 
light. He  had  on  a  stove-pipe  hat  an'  a 
broadclof  suit,  he  wuz  slim  an'  slick  an' 
soople,  an'  it  seem  like  he  wuz  club-footed 
and  double-j'inted. 

"Well,  honey,  he  stood  dar  smickin'  an* 
smilin',  an'  it  look  like  dat  de  mo'  you  look 
at  'im,  de  slicker  he  got.  He  'low, '  Marsters 
an'  frien's,  you'll  hatter  skusen  me  fer 
comin'  in  so  sudden  like.  I  use  ter  be  a 
blacksmiff  myse'f,  an'  I  never  ketches  a 
glimp'  uv  a  forge  an'  a  fier  but  what  it  seem 
like  I'm  a  bleeze  ter  stop  in  a  minnit  ef  only 
fer  ter  warm  my  ban's  like  dis.'  He  belt 
out  his  ban's  to'rds  de  live  charcoals,  an' 
de  fier  sprung  up  des  like  it  do  when  you 
er  workin'  de  bellus  for  all  she's  wuff.  De 
flame  burnt  white,  an'  den  it  burnt  blue, 
an'  bimeby  it  burnt  right  green,  an'  all  de 
time  it  got  bigger  an'  bigger,  twel  it  'gun 
ter  wrop  'roun'  de  Black  Man's  ban's  des 

41 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

like  snakes.  Nobody  ain't  say  a  word;  dey 
ain't  had  no  needs  ter;  it  took  up  all  der 
time  fer  ter  watch  what  de  Black  Man 
gwine  ter  do  nex'. 

"Bimeby,  when  he  done  warm  his  ban's 
ez  much  ez  he  want  ter,  he  turn  ter  de  black- 
smiff  an'  say,  sezee,  'I  hear  you  'spectin' 
comp'ny  soon.'  De  blacksmiff  he  up  an' 
ax,  *Who  been  tellin'  you?'  De  Black  Man 
make  answer,  'Why,  I  seen  ol'  man  Rick- 
erson-Dickerson  dis  mornin',  an'  he  ain't 
mo'  dan  tol'  me  howdy  'fo'  he  'low  dat  you 
'spectin'  comp'ny,  an'  soon's  I  hear  dat  I 
tol'  'im  fer  ter  set  down  in  de  big  rockin'- 
cheer  an'  make  hisse'f  at  home,  an'  off  I  put 
fer  ter  see  who  dis  comp'ny  mought  be  dat 
wuz  comin'  ter  see  you.' 

"Now,  all  dem  neighbors  what  had  come 
in  ter  set  up  wid  de  blacksmiff  know'd 
mighty  well  dat  ol'  man  Rickerson-Dicker- 
son  had  done  been  buried  de  day  befo',  an' 

42 


Impty-Umpty 

It  make  um  open  der  eyes  when  dey  hear  de 
Black  Man  say  dat  he  had  seed  'im  dat 
mornin';  an'  one  ol'  man,  what  had  white 
ha'r,  an'  wuz  kinder  shaky  in  de  legs,  up 
an'  ax,  *Whar  'bouts  is  it  you  see  'im  at?' 
De  Black  Man  say,  *I  seed  'im  comin'  down 
de  road,  an'  he  look  like  he  wuz  kinder  col', 
an'  I  axed  'im  in  fer  ter  warm  by  my  fier. 
We  had  a  little  chat,  an'  den  it  wuz  dat  he 
tol'  me  'bout  how  dey  wuz  comp'ny  'spect- 
ed  at  de  cross-roads  blacksmiff  shop/ 

"De  ol'  man  'low,  'An'  did  he  warm  his- 
se'f?'  De  Black  Man  flung  back  his  head, 
an'  laugh  twel  de  smoke  came  out'n  his 
mouf.  He  say,  *Mr.  Rickerson-Dickerson 
sho'  did  git  warm,  an'  de  reason  I  knows  is 
kaze  I  hear  'im  sesso  hisse'f!'  De  ol'  man 
shuck  his  head,  and  say,  sezee,  dat  he 
reckon  he  better  be  polin'  on  to'rds  home, 
on  accounts  er  de  lateness  er  de  hour." 

"Did  you  say  that  smoke  came  out  of 

43 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

the  Black  Man's  mouth,  Uncle  Remus?" 
the  little  boy  asked.  He  was  so  much  in 
earnest  that  a  curious  little  pucker  ap- 
peared between  his  eyebrows  right  over  his 
nose. 

"Dat  what  I  said,  honey.  Smoke!  an' 
'twan't  no  nachal  smoke  needer,  kaze  it 
smell  des  like  it  do  when  you  strike  one 
er  de  ol'  timey,  smifflicatin'  matches.  It 
kinder  gi'  de  neighbors  a  turn,  an'  one  by 
one  dey  sneaked  off  home,  twel  de  fust  news 
you  know,  dey  wan't  nobody  lef  in  de  shop 
but  de  Black  Man  an'  de  blacksmiff,  wid 
ol'  Brer  Rabbit  peepin'  thoo  a  crack.  De 
Black  Man  he  say,  sezee,  'I  done  had  my 
eye  on  you,  an'  I  like  de  way  you  do  mighty 
well.  You  been  workin'  too  hard  an'  too 
much,  but  you'll  git  over  dem  kinder  habits 
one  er  deze  long-come-shorts.  I  use  ter  be 
a  blacksmiff  myse'f,  an'  I'm  'fear'd  you  go 
at  it  in  a  mighty  'roun'  about  way.   What 

44 


OL  BRER  RABBIT  PEEPIN'  THOO  A  CRACK 


Impty-Umpty 

does  you  want  wid  a  fier,  an'  what  use  is 
you  got  fer  dat  great  big  bellus,  which  you 
hatter  work  yo'se'f  ter  pieces  fer  ter  blow?' 

"De  blacksmiff  he  'low,  he  did,  dat  he 
bleeze  ter  have  a  fier,  an'  de  onliest  way  he 
kin  have  one  is  ter  make  de  bellus  blow  its 
breff  on  it.  De  Black  Man,  he  say,  sezee, 
'Dey  mought  been  a  time  when  I  had  de 
same  idee,  but  dat  time  is  done  past  an' 
gone.  Le'  me  show  you  how  I  does  de 
business.'  Wid  dat,  he  tuck  up  a  plow 
tongue,  belt  it  close  ter  his  mouf,  an'  blowed 
on  it  once  er  twice,  an'  it  got  red-hot,  an' 
den  tuck  on  a  white  heat,  de  kin'  dey  calls 
a  weltin'  heat.  He  put  it  on  de  anvil,  an' 
hit  a  lick  er  two  wid  de  hammer,  an'  it  come 
out  de  purtiest  shovel  plow  you  ever  is  lay 
yo'  eyes  on. 

"He  belt  it  out,  but  de  blacksmiff  back 
off,  he  did,  an'  'low,  'Who  de  name  er  good- 
ness is  you,  anyhow.?'  De  Black  Man  frown 

45 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

when  he  hear  de  word  'goodness'  but  he 
make  answer,  'Folks  got  a  heap  er  diffunt 
names  fer  me,  but  I  ain't  no  ways  proud, 
an'  so  I  'spon's  ter  all  un  um.'  De  black- 
smiff  say,  sezee,  *I  b'lieve  you  ain't  nobody 
but  ol'  Impty-Umpty/  *An'  yit,'  sez  de 
Black  Man,  sezee,  'some  calls  me  de  01' 
Boy,  an'  den,  ag'in,  dey  calls  me  Satan, 
an'  I  got  wuss  soundin'  names  dan  dat.' 

"  'Dey  tells  me,'  sez  de  blacksmiff,  sezee, 
'dat  dey's  three  things  you  can't  do,' 
sezee.  01'  Impty-Umpty  'low,  'Be  pleased 
fer  ter  homnyname  um,'  sezee.  'Well,  suh,' 
sez  de  blacksmiff,  sezee,  'it'  talked  'roun' 
in  de  neighborhood  dat  you  can't  change 
yo'se'f  inter  a  hog,  ner  a  monkey,  ner 
needer  inter  a  cat.'  01'  Impty-Umpty 
grinned  an'  showed  his  sharp  tushes,  an' 
den  he  lipped  in  de  a'r  wid  a  little  twist,  an' 
when  he  hit  de  groun'  ag'in,  he  wuz  in  de 
resemblance  uv  er  hog,  an'  he  look  so  much 

46 


Impty-Umpty 

like  er  hog  dat  he  went  gruntin'  all  over  de 
shop,  an'  gobblin'  up  eve'y  scrap  er  vittles 
he  kin  fin'.  Den  he  lay  down  an'  waller'd 
like  he  wuz  in  a  mud-hole,  an'  got  up  a 
monkey.  Well  Mr.  Monk  wuz  mo'  livelier 
dan  what  de  hog  wuz,  an'  he  run  up  de  wall, 
an'  got  on  de  rafters,  an'  sot  dar  chatterin' 
an'  whis'lin'  des  like  a  sho'  'nough  monkey. 

"He  drapped  fum  de  rafters,  an'  when 
he  hit  de  groun',  de  monkey  wuz  a  cat,  not 
a  great  big  un,  but  a  little  black  un  dat 
you'd  'a'  been  sorry  fer  ef  you'd  'a'  seed 
it.  By  dat  time  de  blacksmiff  had  his  i'on 
box  ready,  an'  settin'  on  de  groun',  an' 
when  de  cat  come  close  'nough,  he  grabbed 
it  by  de  back  er  de  neck  an'  soused  it  in  de 
box,  an'  slammed  down  de  led  an'  fastened 
it.  Den  he  laugh  an'  laugh,  twel  it  look 
like  he  ain't  never  gwine  ter  git  done  laugh- 
in'. 

"But  ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  wid  his  eye  ter  der 

47 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

crack,  'gun  ter  git  kinder  unpatient,  an'  he 
fetch  de  groun'  a  whack  wid  his  behime  foot. 
He  hit  so  hard  an'  so  quick  dat  you'd  'a' 
thunk  somebody  wuz  beatin'  on  de  muffle' 
drum.  Blacksmiff  say,  sezee,  'Who  dat?* 
Brer  Rabbit  'spon',  'I'm  de  man  what  you 
had  in  de  box'  —  des  so.  Blacksmiff  say, 
sezee,  'Go  'way!  you  can't  fool  me!  01' 
Impty-Umpty  in  here  whar  I  put  'im  at, 
an'  he'll  be  impty-umptied  'fo'  he's  emp-^ 
tied.  You  hear  me  talkin'!'  Brer  Rabbit 
say,  sezee,  'Shake  de  box,  man!  Shake  de 
box!'  An'  sho'  'nough,  when  de  blacksmiff 
shake  de  box,  he  ain't  hear  nothin'  in  dar. 
He  shake  it  ag'in,  an'  he  don't  hear  nothin' 
in  dar. 

"Well,  dis  kinder  thing  ain't  what  he 
been  'spectin'  an'  he  kinder  scratch  his 
head.  He  study  an'  he  study  what  he  gwine 
do,  an'  bimeby  he  sot  right  flat  on  de  groun' 
an'  open  de  box  fer  ter  see  ef  it's  empty  er 

48 


^/ 


HE  GRABBED  IT  BY  DE  BACK  ER  DE  NECK  An'  SOUSED 
IT  IN  DE  BOX  " 


Impty-Umpty 

Impty-Umpty.  He  open  it,  he  did,  an' 
raise  de  led  an'  try  ter  peep  in,  but  he  ain't 
see  nothin'.  He  raise  it  a  leetle  higher,  an' 
when  he  done  dat,  a  great  big  black  bat 
flewed  outer  de  box  an'  hit  'im  right  spang 
in  de  face.  He  done  his  level  best  fer  ter 
ketch  it;  he  struck  at  it  wid  his  hat,  an* 
slapped  at  it  wid  his  han',  but  de  bat  done 
gone  out'n  reach,  an'  when  de  blacksmiff 
look  up,  it  wuz  sailin'  'roun'  'mongst  de 
rafters,  fliffin'  an'  flufflin',  an'  grittin'  its 
toofies.  De  bat  flew'd  'roun'  much  ez  it 
wanter,  an'  den  it  made  a  dart  fer  de  do' 
an'  wuz  gone  —  done  gone ! 

"Well,  time  went  on,  an'  de  day  come 
when  de  blacksmiff  shop  wuz  shot  up,  an' 
de  blacksmiff  hisse'f  wuz  swopped  fum  de 
coolin'-board  ter  de  graveyard."  Uncle 
Remus  paused,  and  looked  hard  at  the  little 
boy,  who  was  listening  with  the  composure 
and  the  complacency  that  were  so  puzzling 

49 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

to  the  old  negro.  He  paused,  cleared  his 
throat,  and  then  went  on:  "Fum  coolin'- 
board  to  graveyard  ain't  sech  a  mighty  fur 
ways,  but  I  don't  'speck  de  blacksmiff 
keer'd  ef  'twuz  long  er  short.  Dey  tells  me 
—  I  dunno  ef  it's  so  er  no;  it  mought  be 
des  de  hearsay  —  but  dey  tells  me  dat  de 
blacksmiff  had  'casion  ter  go  down  dar  whar 
Impty-Umpty  live  at;  he  mought  des  been 
passin'  by;  leas'ways  he  went  ter  Impty- 
Umpty's  house  an'  knock  at  de  do'.  He 
knock  once  an'  he  knock  twice,  an'  den  ol' 
Impty-Umpty  holler  an'  ax,  'Who  dat?' 
Blacksmiff  say,  sezee,  *  'Tain't  nobody  but 
me.'  Impty-Umpty  'low,  he  did,  'Ef  youer 
dat  blacksmiff  what  shet  de  cat  up  in  a  box, 
you  can't  come  in  dis  place,'  an'  den  he  call 
one  er  his  little  Impties,  an'  say,  'Go  git 
*im  a  chunk  er  fier  an'  let  'im  start  a  sinner 
fact'ry  er  his  own.  He  can't  come  in  here.' 
Dat,"  remarked  Uncle  Remus  with  some- 

50 


Impty-Umpty 

thing  like  relief,  "wuz  all  de  fur  de  tale 
could  foUer  de  blacksmiff ." 

The  little  boy  sat  as  though  lost  in  reflec- 
tion. Finally,  however,  he  stretched  him- 
self and  spoke.  "Oh,  pshaw!"  he  exclaimedy 
and  ran  laughing  toward  the  big  house. 


TAILY-PO 

WHEN  next  the  little  boy  put 
in  an  appearance  at  Uncle  Re- 
mus's  cabin,  the  old  man  was 
engaged  in  making  something  that  ap- 
peared to  be  very  much  like  a  hammock. 
Indeed,  it  was  so  very  much  like  a  ham- 
mock that  the  youngster  took  the  fact  for 
granted  and  at  first  asked  no  questions 
about  it.  He  was  really  as  inquisitive  as 
most  children,  but  he  had  been  taught  that 
this,  the  most  natural  way  of  improving  his 
mind  and  adding  to  the  small  sum  of  his 
knowledge,  was  rude  and  countrified. 

"What  de  matter,  honey?"  asked  Uncle 
Remus,  observing  that  the  little  fellow  was 
more  serious  than  usual.  "I  hope  de  oV 
Shanghai  rooster  ain't  hauled  off  an  kicked 

52 


Taily.Po 

you."  The  child  blushed.  The  big  rooster, 
which  had  been  raised  as  a  pet,  and  which 
had  a  habit  of  pecking  and  pulling  viciously 
at  the  buttons  on  people's  clothes,  was  the 
only  thing  on  the  plantation  that  the  little 
boy  was  really  afraid  of.  He  did  n't  know 
why  he  was  afraid  of  the  rooster,  but  it 
seemed  that  the  rooster  himself  had  dis- 
covered this  weakness,  and  whenever  he 
saw  the  child  he  would  come  running  with 
his  feathers  ruffled,  and  making  queer 
noises  that  seemed  to  issue  from  the  depths 
of  his  craw.  The  youngster  always  made 
it  a  point  to  get  out  of  the  rooster's  way 
as  promptly  as  his  nimble  little  feet  would 
carry  him. 

He  blushed,  therefore,  when  Uncle  Re- 
mus placed  a  blunt  finger  on  his  weakness, 
but  make  no  reply  to  the  comment.  In- 
stead, he  declared  that  his  mother  had  said 
that  Uncle  Remus  had  no  business  to  fill 

S3 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

the  little  boy's  head  full  of  foolish  notions, 
especially  about  Satan,  and  other  topics 
almost  equally  as  impolite.  "What  Miss 
Sally  say  ter  dat?"  inquired  the  old  negro 
with  a  smile  of  genuine  amusement.  Miss 
Sally  was  the  child's  grandmother. 

"Why,  grandmother  said  that  if  Satan 
ever  got  me,  it  would  n't  be  at  your  cabin." 

"Ah-yi!  An'  den  what  yo'  mammy 
say?"  the  old  negro  asked. 

"  She  said  it  was  n't  nice  to  talk  about 
such  things,  and  grandmother  asked  if  the 
Bible  was  a  nice  book." 

"Dar,  now!  What  I  been  tellin'  you? 
Honey,  you  better  study  yo'  granny  close 
an'  look  at  'er  good,  kaze  some  er  deze  odd- 
come-shorts,  she  gwine  ter  take  wings  an' 
flew'd  away;  an'  once  she  gits  outer  yo' 
sight,  you  ain't  gwine  ter  see  no  mo'  like  'er. 
Lots  er  folks  could  git  rich  an'  make  dey- 
se'f  happy  des  by  pickin'  up  what  she  done 

54 


Taily-Po 

forgot.  Ef  she'd  'a'  been  a  man,  she'd  'a* 
been  a  preacher,  an'  ef  not  dat,  den  she'd 
'a'  been  one  er  deze  kinder  folks  what  leads 
all  de  rest.  No  matter  what  crowd  she  got 
in,  she'd  'a'  headed  de  whole  gang — dey 
ain't  no  two  ways  'bout  dat.  Why,  Miss 
Sally  kin  stan'  on  dat  back  porch  up  dar, 
an'  gi'  her  orders,  an'  you  kin  hear  eve'y 
word  she  say  plum'  ter  de  two-mile  place  — 
you  sho'  kin." 

The  little  boy  disputed  nothing  that  was 
said  in  regard  to  his  grandmother,  for  he 
was  very  fond  of  her;  but  he  was  too  small 
to  appreciate  the  qualities  that  Uncle  Re- 
mus was  dimly  endeavoring  to  indicate, 
and  so  his  mind  wandered  from  the  old 
negro's  words  to  his  work.  "What  are  you 
doing.  Uncle  Remus?"  he  asked. 

"Des  a-knittin'  an'  a-knottin',  honey  — 
des  a-knottin'  an'  a-knittin'.  Ez  you  see 
me  now,  des  so  you  mought  'a'  seed  me 

SS 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

fifty  year  ago,  mo'  speshually  ef  I  wuz 
doin'  den  what  I  'm  a-doin'  now." 

"Where  will  you  hang  the  hammock 
when  it  is  finished?"  inquired  the  young- 
ster, his  curiosity  temporarily  getting  the 
better  of  his  training. 

"Ef  I  kin  git  two  men  ter  hoF  de  staffs, 
an'  an'er  one  fer  ter  swing  it,  I  '11  hang  it  up 
in  de  middle  er  de  creek,  an'  gi'  de  cat- 
fishes  an'  de  suckers,  an'  de  peerches  a  ride. 
I  hope  dey'U  like  it  well  'nough  not  ter  be 
disapp'inted.  But  you  mos'  never  kin 
skacely  tell;  ef  fishes  is  like  folks,  I  know 
purty  well  dat  dey  don't  like  it.  Der  wuz 
Mr.  Gristle,  —  I  most  know  you  ain't  never 
see  'im,  kaze  he  been  dead  eve'y  sence  I  wuz 
in  my  teens.  Well,  dey  tuck  Mr.  Gristle 
ter  de  court-^house,  whar  dey  wuz  a  whole 
passel  er  lawyers,  an'  dey  made  great  long 
speeches  'bout  'im,  an'  de  jedge  j  edged  'im, 
an'  de  jury  sot  on  'im;  but  spite  er  all  dis 

S6 


Taily-Po 

de  man  wasn't  sachified,  an'  he  made  a  tur- 
rible  racket  when  dey  went  ter  hang  'im. 

"It's  purty  much  de  same  way  wid  de 
fishes.  Spite  er  de  fack  dat  I  been  settin* 
here  workin'  on  dis  seine  off  an'  on  mighty 
nigh  two  mont's,  de  fishes  won't  no  mo'  dan 
git  in  it  good  'fo'  dey '11  make  a  turrible 
splutteration,  an'  try  fer  ter  break  out." 

"Well,  I  reckon  so,"  the  little  boy  ex- 
claimed. 

"Yasser,  you  can't  please  eve'ybody. 
Ef  youer  hangin'  um,  er  makin'  a  seine,  er 
tellin'  a  tale,  somebody  er  sump'n  will  say 
'tain't  de  right  thing.  I  had  fresh  in  my 
min'  a  tale  dat  follers  right  'long  atter  de 
one  'bout  ol'  Impty-Umpty,  same  ez  de  be- 
hime  wheel  uv  a  buggy  follers  de  front  un 
—  but,  bless  gracious!  dar's  yo'  mammy 
warnin'  me  not  ter  call  names  in  vain,  an' 
I  dunner  which  way  ter  turn.  Look  like  dey 
ain't  nothin'  lef  fer  me  ter  do  but  ter  keep 

57 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

my  mouf  shut,  er  tell  my  tales  ter  myse'f 
atter  I  go  ter  bed." 

The  little  boy  laughed,  for  Uncle  Remus 
had,  as  it  were,  by  chance,  hit  upon  one  of 
his  own  little  tricks.  In  a  moment  he  was 
serious  again.  "  But  grandmother  says  there 
is  no  harm  in  the  stories,"  he  declared.  ) 

"An'  a  mighty  good  thing!"  exclaimed 
Uncle  Remus;  "kaze  ef  dey  wuz  any  harm 
in  um,  all  our  folks  would  'a'  gone  ter  rack 
an'  ruin,  an'  'lev'mty-'lev'm  ginerations 
befo'  an'  atter.  Dey  may  be  de  wrong 
thing,  but  dey  ain't  done  nobody  no  harm, 
not  sence  I  kin  fust  ermember  white  fum 
black  —  an'  dat  wuz  a  long  time  ago." 

"But  what  was  the  story.  Uncle  Re- 
mus?" asked  the  little  boy,  whose  interest 
was  now  whetted  to  a  very  keen  edge. 

"Inquirements  like  dat  allers  leads  ter 
mo'  talk,"  remarked  the  old  man,  with  that 
air  of  wisdom  that  can  only  be  assumed  by 

58 


Taily-Po 

those  who  are  old  in  years  and  experience. 
"It's  one  er  dem  ar  tales  what  I  never  is 
tell  ter  yo'  pappy.  Nothin'  ain't  suit  'im 
ceppin'  dem  tales  'bout  Brer  Rabbit,  wid 
de  creeturs  persuin  'on  atter  'im,  an'  him 
a-persuin'  on  atter  de  creeturs.  But  dey 
tells  me  dat  in  dem  days  —  de  times  dat 
de  tales  tells  'bout  —  Mr.  Man  an'  his  kin- 
nery  wuz  e'en  about  ez  servigrous  ez  any 
er  de  creeturs  what  wuz  persuin'  on  atter 
Brer  Rabbit.  Dat  what  de  ol'  folks  say, 
an'  ef  anybody  knows  it  sho'ly  ought  ter 
be  dem. 

"Well,  dish  yer  tale,  what  I  had  fresh  in 
my  min',  is  got  a  song  in  it,  an'  dat's  de 
reason  I  ain't  been  eetchin'  fer  ter  tell  it; 
kaze  I  ain't  got  de  knack  er  singin'  what  I 
useter  have.  When  I  wuz  young,  de  ol' 
folks  wuz  allers  a-tellin'  me  dat  ef  I  don't 
stop  hollin'  so  loud,  I'd  break  my  puckerin' 
string,  an'  I  'speck  dat  what  de  matter  wid 

59 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

me  now.  I  done  holla'd  so  much,  callin'  de 
hogs  an'  de  sheep,  an'  one  thing  an'  an'er, 
dat  you  can't  'speck  me  ter  chune  up  an' 
sing  des  anywhar  an'  any  time. 

"When  dis  tale  wuz  handed  down  ter  me 
—  an'  dat  'uz  too  long  ago  ter  talk  about  — 
it  seem  like  dat  some  kinder  hard  feelin's 
done  sprung  up  'twix'  Mr.  Man  an'  ol' 
Brer  Rabbit,  some  kinder  'spute  'bout 
gyarden  peas,  an'  goobas.  Mr.  Man  say 
dat  Brer  Rabbit  nipped  off  de  tops  time  dey 
git  out'n  de  groun'  good.  Mr.  Rabbit,  he 
'low,  dat  dem  what  Mr.  Man  miss  ain't 
never  come  out'n  de  groun'.  Mr.  Man  say 
dat  may  be  so,  but  he  tell  Brer  Rabbit  to  des 
look  at  de  cabbages,  whar  dey  nibbled. 
Brer  Rabbit  'low,  he  did,  dat  it  mought  be 
the  calfies  er  de  big  green  worms,  an'  he  ax 
Mr.  Man  what  needs  do  he  have  fer  ter  be 
nibblin'  at  spindlin'  greens  like  dem,  when 
he  got  a  fine  gyarden  er  his  own.  Mr.  Man 
60 


Taily-Po 

say  he'd  a  heap  rather  see  dat  fine  gyarden 
dan  ter  hear  tell  un  it. 

"An'  so  de  'spute  run  on;  one  word  call- 
in'  fer  an'er,  an'  dar  dey  had  it  twel  bimeby 
bofe  un  um  wuz  tryin'  fer  ter  say  two  words 
ter  de  yuther's  one.  De  upshot  un  it  wuz 
dat  Mr.  Man  git  so  mad  dat  he  wuz  red  in 
de  face,  an'  he  call  his  dogs,  Ramboo,  Bam- 
boo, an'  Lamboo,  an'  sicc'd  um  on  Brer 
Rabbit;  an'  you  know  mighty  well  dat  ef 
dey'd  'a'  been  any  pardnership  'twix'  um 
dis  siccin'  de  dogs  on  would  'a'  bust  it  up. 

"Now,  de  dogs  ain't  got  no  better  sense 
dan  ter  do  de  best  dey  kin.  Dey  track  ol' 
Brer  Rabbit,  dey  trail  'im  an'  dey  track  'im 
'roun'  an'  'roun'  an'  up  an'  down,  twel 
bimeby  he  say  ter  hisse'f  dat  ef  dey  don't 
kinder  let  up  he  sho'  will  drap  in  his  tracks. 
Whiles  he  lopin'  long,  wid  his  tongue  out 
an'  his  tail  ofif,  he  come  ter  de  big  holler 
poplar  by  de  cool  spring.  He  went  in,  he 
6i 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

did,  an'  nin  up  sta'rs  an'  sot  down  in  a 
cheer,  an'  panted  like  he'd  been  playin* 
hop-an'-go-fetch-it." 

The  old  negro  paused  at  this  point,  as  if 
to  see  what  effect  the  last  statement  would 
have  on  the  child.  The  youngster  knew 
as  well  as  any  one  that  a  hollow  tree  has  no 
stairway  and  no  place  for  chairs,  but  the 
matter-of-fact  way  in  which  Uncle  Remus 
had  made  the  announcement  seemed  to  be 
sufficient  evidence  of  its  truth.  Indeed,  one 
of  the  queerest  results  of  the  old  man's 
manner  of  telling  his  stories  —  the  charm 
of  which  cannot  be  reproduced  in  cold  type 
—  was  that  all  the  animals,  and  all  of  the 
various  characters  that  figured  therein, 
were  taken  out  of  the  reality  which  we 
know,  and  transported  bodily  into  that 
realm  of  reality  which  we  feel:  the  reality 
that  lies  far  beyond  the  commonplace, 
everyday  facts  that  constitute  not  the  least 
62 


Taily-Po 

of  our  worries.  Fortunately  for  childhood, 
the  little  boy  failed  to  discover  that  Uncle 
Remus  had  made  any  statement  out  of  the 
ordinary. 

Observing  this,  the  old  negro's  face 
seemed  to  be  lighted  up  with  enthusiasm, 
and  he  resumed  the  story  with  more  cheer- 
fulness than  the  child  had  ever  seen  him 
exhibit.  "He  went  up  sta'rs,  he  did,"  said 
Uncle  Remus,  insisting  on  renewing  the 
statement,  "an'  sot  down  in  de  big  rockin'- 
cheer,  an'  panted  twel  he  got  kinder  rested. 
An'  all  dis  time,  Ramboo,  Bamboo,  an' 
Lamboo  wuz  a-runnin'  'roun'  'wid  der  nose 
ter  de  groun'  tryin'  fer  ter  pick  up  de  trail 
where  dey  los'  it  at.  Dey  run  here  an'  dey 
run  dar,  dey  run  hether  an'  dey  run  yan; 
but  dey  can't  fin'  it,  an'  bimeby  dey  drapt 
der  tails  an'  went  on  home." 

"But,  Uncle  Remus,"  the  little  boy 
interrupted,  "why  did  n't   the  dogs   tree 

63 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Brother  Rabbit  ?  Don't  you  remember  how 
you  told  me  that  the  dogs  on  the  place 
here  could  tree  'possums?" 

If  the  child  had  been  older  and  wiser,  he 
would  have  made  sure  that  he  had  the  old 
man  in  a  tight  corner,  but  he  never  even  sus- 
pected that  he  had  Uncle  Remus  "treed." 
He  was  simply  seeking  information.  After  a 
little  pause,  the  venerable  story-teller  was 
himself  again,  and  the  little  boy  never  knew 
how  near  he  was  to  catching  the  old  ne- 
gro as  he  never  had  been  caught  before. 
Uncle  Remus  closed  his  eyes  when  the  lit- 
tle boy  asked  why  the  dogs  did  n't  trail 
Brother  Rabbit  to  the  tree,  and  then  tree 
him,  and  gave  utterance  to  a  heart-rend- 
ing groan,  as  though  he  was  suffering  some 
fearful  pang,  physical  or  mental.  Rethought 
quick  and  hard,  and  wondered  what  reply 
he  should  make,  when  the  youngster  him- 
self came  to  the  rescue.   "I  reckon  that 

64 


Taily-Po 

was  before  dogs  had  been  trained  to  tree 
things." 

The  old  man  opened  wide  his  eyes,  and 
grinned  from  ear  to  ear.  "Honey,  you  sho' 
hit  de  nail  on  de  head  dat  time.  I  wuz  des 
waitin'  fer  ter  see  ef  you'd  hatter  be  tol', 
an'  here  you  come  an'  take  de  words  right 
out'n  my  mouf.  Dey  ain't  a  day  pass  dat 
you  don't  git  smarter,  an'  you'll  soon  be  so 
dat  nobody  can't  fool  you.  Yasser!  dat's 
why  de  dogs  ain't  trail  Brer  Rabbit  ter  de 
tree  an'  den  bay  de  tree.  Dey  ain't  been 
I'arned  how;  der  wa'n't  no  needs  fer  it,  an* 
so  when  Brer  Rabbit  went  in  de  holler  tree 
an'  run'd  up  sta'rs,  he  des  mought  ez  well 
'a'  took  wings  an'  flew'd  away,  fer  all  de 
dogs  know'd. 

"Well,  de  dogs  went  on  back  home,  an' 
atter  so  long  a  time,  atter  Brer  Rabbit  done 
chaw  on  his  cud  much  ez  he  wanter,  he 
come  down,  an'  went  on  'bout  his  business. 

6s 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

An'  I  tell  you,  hon,  it  'uz  big  business,  too, 
ef  you'll  believe  me.  He  put  out,  he  did, 
an'  he  went,  lippity-clippity,  'way  off  in  de 
middle  er  de  swamp,  whar  ol'  Mammy- 
Bammy  Big-Money  live  at.  He  wuz  gwine 
'long  mighty  gaily  'fo'  he  got  in  sight  er  de 
house,  but  time  he  see  dat,  he  'gun  ter  git 
droopy,  twel,  time  he  git  ter  de  gate  —  ef 
dey  wuz  a  gate  —  he  look  like  he  been  sick 
a  mont'  er  mo'." 

As  soon  as  Uncle  Remus  had  mentioned 
the  name  of  Mammy-Bammy  Big-Money 
the  child  straightened  himself  on  the  bench 
which  he  was  using  as  a  chair,  and  gave 
unmistakable  evidence  that  his  interest  in 
the  story  had  been  strengthened  and  re- 
newed. He  had  heard  his  grandmother 
saying  something  about  a  witch  named 
Mammy-Bammy  Big-Money,  and  now  he 
seemed  to  be  on  the  point  of  hearing  Z 
good  deal  more  about  her. 
66 


Taily-Po 

*'Weak  ez  he  look,  he  kin'  holla,  an'  he 

hailed  an'  hailed  twel  somebody  hello'd, 

an'  in  he  went.  When  he  got  in  dar,  he  look 

mo'  droopy  an'  puny  dan  ef  he'd  'a'  had 

a  spell  er  swamp  fever.   Mammy-Bammy 

Big-Money  ax  'im  what  de  matter,  an'  he 

say  he  in  deep  trouble,  an'  den  he  up  an' 

erlate  all  de  circumstance,  'bout  how  Mr. 

Man  been  treatin'  'im,  an'  Mammy-Bammy 

Big-Money  shuck  her  head  an'  say  dat  it 

look  like  ter  her  dat  dem  kinder  doin's 

ain't  much  less  dan  scandalious.   Hangin' 

on  de  wall  er  de  place  wuz  de  hide  er  some 

kinder  varmint  —  I  dunner  what.    It  had 

de  head,  de  footsies,  an'  de  tail  on.  She  tuck 

it  down,  an'  laid  it  on  de  flo',  an'  den  got  a 

han'ful  er  salt  an'  sprinkle  it  on  de  fier,  a 

little  at  a  time,  singin',  — 

"'Rise,  skin,  rise, 

Open  yo'  big  red  eyes  — 
Sharpen  yo'  long,  black  claws, 
An'  work  yo'  big  strong  jaws  I' 

67 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

''So  said,  so  done,  kaze  whiles  de  salt  wuz 
a-snappin'  an'  a-crackin'  in  de  fier,  de  var- 
mint hide  'gun  ter  move,  an'  stretch  itse'f. 
Den  it  'gun  ter  roll  an'  waller  on  de  flo'  an' 
time  de  salt  done  all  burn  up,  dar  'twuz,  big 
ez  life  an'  twice  ez  nachal,  walkin'  'roun' 
an'  rubbin'  'g'in  ol'  Mammy-Bammy  Big- 
Money  fer  all  de  worl'  like  a  great,  big, 
double-j'inted  wil'-cat.  Brer  Rabbit  gi'  de 
varmint  plenty  er  room,  whenever  it  come 
his  way.  Bimeby,  de  ol'  witch  up  an'  tell 
Brer  Rabbit  dat  he  kin  go  home  now  an' 
rest  in  peace,  kaze  'tain't  gwineter  be  many 
long  hours  'fo'  Mr.  Man  will  have  all  he  kin 
'ten'  ter  widout  pesterin'  wid  anybody  else. 

"De  hide  had  been  hangin'  up  so  long, 
an'  wuz  so  hard  an'  stiff,  dat  de  varmint  had 
some  trouble  'long  at  fust.  Dey  wuz  big 
hard  wrinkles  here  an'  dar,  but  'twan't  so 
mighty  long  'fo'  it  all  limbered  up,  an'  de 
creetur,  whatsomever  de  name  mought  be, 
68 


RISE,  SKIN,  RISE 


Taily-Po 

got  so  dat  it  kin  rack  'roun'  des  ez  soople  ez 
any  udder  creetur. 

"Brer  Rabbit  went  off  home  an'  went  ter 
bed,  so  dat  when  night  come  he  kin  be  up 
an'  about,  wid  bofe  eyes  open,  an'  bofe 
y'ears  ready  fer  ter  hear  a  bug  flyin'  a  mile 
off.  When  'twuz  time  fer  Brer  Rabbit  ter 
git  up  an'  be  a-moseyin'  'roun'  fer  ter  see 
what  dey  is  fer  ter  be  seed,  Mr.  Man  wuz 
fixin'  fer  ter  go  ter  bed.  He  got  in  dar,  he 
did,  an'  de  bed  feel  so  satchifyin'  dat  he 
fetch  a  grunt  an'  a  groan,  an'  den,  'fo'  you 
kin  say  Billy  Billups,  wid  yo'  mouf  open,  he 
wuz  done  gone,  an'  eve'y  time  he  drawed  a 
breff  it  soun'  like  somebody  wuz  tryin'  fer 
ter  grin'  coffee. 

"Well,  it  went  on  dis  away,  twel  some 
time  endurin'  de  night,  an'  den,  all  at  once, 
Mr.  Man  opened  his  eyes  an'  fin'  hisse'f 
wide  awake,  des  like  folks  do  when  dey  git 
de  idee  dat  dey 's  somebody  in  de  room.  He 

69 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

lissen,  an'  he  lissen,  an'  bimeby  he  hear 
sump'n  stirrin'  'bout  'mongst  de  pots  an'  de 
pans  in  de  little  room  whar  he  does  his 
cookin'  at.  He  hear  it  an'  den  he  don't  hear 
it;  den  he  hear  it,  an'  it  soun'  like  dey's 
sump'n  in  dar  huntin'  fer  scraps  er  vittles. 
So,  out  er  de  bed  he  slips,  an'  slams  de  do' 
too,  which  it  done  come  open.  He  slams 
it,  but  not  befo'  de  creetur  what's  in  dar 
done  gone  out,  all  'ceppin'  de  tail.  He 
cotch  de  tail  when  he  slam  de  do',  an'  off  it 
come  right  smick-smack-smoove.  De  tail 
wuz  wigglin'  so  dat  he  can't  hardly  pick  it 
up,  an'  when  he  do,  he  can't  hardly  hoi'  it 
in  his  han'.  He  look  at  it,  an'  he  say  ter 
hisse'f  dat  he  ain't  never  is  see  no  tail  like 
dat. 

"He  tuck  'n  tuck  it  in  de  room  whar  he 

sleep  at,  an'  onkiwer'd  de  fier,  an'  kindle  it 

up,  an'  all  dis  time  de  tail  what  he  had  in 

his  han'  wuz  givin'  him  'bout  ez  much  ez  he 

70 


Taily-Po 

kin  do  fer  ter  hoi'  it.  Bimeby,  he  put  it 
down  on  de  ha'th,  an'  put  his  foot  on  it, 
but  it  wuz  a  long  tail  an'  a  strong  tail,  an' 
it  kep'  up  a  mighty  wigglin'  an'  squirmin', 
an'  it  worked  itse'f  out  so  dat  it  had  some 
room,  an'  den  it  'gun  ter  hit  de  man  on  de 
legs,  an'  it  hit  so  hard  dat  it  made  'im  holla. 
Den  he  got  mad,  an'  he  grab  up  de  tail  an' 
flung  it  in  de  fier,  spang  in  de  middle  er  de 
red-hot  embers.  Ef  you  never  see  squirmin' 
you  mought  'a'  seed  it  den  ef  you'd  'a'  been 
dar.  You  know  how  lizzud's  tail'll  jump, 
an'  do  like  deyer  'live  long  atter  dey  been 
knocked  off  —  well,  dish  yer  tail  wuz  lots 
mo'  liver  dan  what  dey  is.  It  'uz  a  big 
strong  tail,  an'  it  jump  'bout  so  dat  it  knock 
de  ashes  an'  de  embers  out  on  de  h'ath,  an' 
de  onliest  way  dat  Mr.  Man  kin  keep  it  in 
de  fier,  is  ter  hoi'  it  down  wid  de  tongs 
whiles  he  tuck  de  shovel  an'  kiwered  it  wid 
de  live  coals.  It  fried  an'  shook,  an'  shook 

71 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

an'  fried,  twel  bimeby  it  look  like  dey 
wa'n't  nothin'  fer  ter  fry  an'  shake. 

"Den  Mr.  Man  went  ter  bed  ag'in,  atter 
lookin'  at  de  sev'm  stars  fer  ter  see  what 
time  'tis,  an'  he  make  up  his  min'  he  gwine- 
ter  ketch  up  de  sleep  what  he  done  los', 
but  time  he  git  ter  dozin'  good,  he  hear  a 
mighty  scratchin'  an'  gnyawin'  at  de  top 
er  de  do'  whar  dey  wuz  a  crack  at.  He  'low, 
'Who  dat?'  an'  den  he  lay  still  an'  lis- 
sen,  an'  atter  while  he  hear  sump'n  say  an' 
sing  — 

"  'Taily-po!  You  know  an'  I  know 
Dat  I  wants  my  Taily-po! 
Over  an'  under  an'  thoo  de  do', 
I'm  a-comin'  fer  ter  git  my  Tally-po! '" 

Uncle  Remus  gave  to  this  nonsense  a 
queer,  whining  intonation,  and  while  he  was 
singing,  or  intoning  it,  he  pretended  to  be 
crying.  Its  effect  on  the  little  boy  was  pe- 
culiar. He  frowned  in  sympathy,  and  caught 

72 


Taily-Po 

his  breath.  "Wasn't  Mr.  Man  scared?" 
he  asked.  "Why  did  n't  he  get  his  gun?" 
"Shoo,  honey!  in  dem  times  all.de  guns 
wuz  pop-guns,"  the  old  man  replied.  "De 
fightin'  dey  had  wuz  fist  an'  skull;  dey 
knocked  down  an'  drug  out,  an'  bit  an' 
gouged.  Guns !  why,  ef  a  gun  had  'a'  went  off 
whar  dey  could  hear  it,  dey'd  er  run  spang 
ter  de  Jumpin'-Off  Place,  wharsomever  dat 
may  be.  Mr.  Man  laid  dar  in  bed,  an'  he 
ain't  know  what  ter  do.  De  scratchin'  an' 
gnyawin'  went  on,  twel  Mr.  Man  fa'rly 
shuck  an'  shivered;  but  bimeby  he  thunk 
er  his  dogs,  an'  he  made  so  bol'  ez  ter  go 
ter  de  back  do'  an'  call  um."  At  this  point. 
Uncle  Remus  raised  his  voice  to  a  very  high 
pitch,  as  people  do  in  the  country  places 
when  they  call  their  dogs.  "'Here,  Ram- 
boo!  here.  Bamboo!  here,  Lamboo  —  here, 
here!  Here,  dogs,  here!'  Well,  de  dogs 
ain't  got  no  better  sense  dan  ter  come  when 

73 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

deyer  called,  an'  dey  come  a-ninnin'.  Mr. 

Man  sicc'd  um  'roun'  ter  de  front  er  de 

house,  an'  it  seem  like  dat  when  dey  got  dar, 

dey  tuck  right  atter  sump'n,  an'  off  dey 

went  a-flyin'  twel  dey  git  plumb  out'n 

hearin*. 

"  'Fo'  dey  kin  git  back  home  ag'in,  Mr, 

Man  wuz  des  'bout  ter  drap  off  ter  sleep 

when  he  hear  de  same  scratchin'  fuss,  an' 

dis  time  it  wuz  at  de  back  do',  whar  dey 

wuz  a  bigger  crack.  He  ax  who  de  name  er 

goodness  is  dat,  an'  what  does  dey  want  at 

dis  time  er  night,  when  all  honest  folks 

oughter  be  in  bed.  An'  no  sooner  is  he  ax 

dis,  dan  dere  come  de  answer  — 

**  'Yo'  name,  I  know,  is  Whaley-Joe, 
An'  'fo'  I  'm  gwineter  r'a'ly  go, 
I  'm  bleeze  ter  have  my  Taily-po; 
Gi'  me  dat  an'  I  '11  gaily  go  — 
Taily-po!  my  Taily-po!' 

"Mr.  Man  went  out  ter  de  front  an'  call 

de  dogs,  but  dey  ain't  dar,  an'  so  dey  ^an't 

74 


Taily-Po 

*spon'.    Dar  wuz  Mr.  Man,  an'   some'rs 

not  fur  off  wuz  de  scratchin'  an'  gnyawin' 

creetur,  cryin'  out  — 

"  '  I  know  you  know,  an'  I  know  I  know, 
Dat  all  I  wants  is  my  Taily-po!' 

"Mr.  Man  shut  an'  barr'd  de  do',  an' 
went  back  ter  bed  an'  pull  de  kiwer  over 
his  head,  kaze  he  dunner  what  mo'  ter  do. 
He  can't  ketch  de  creetur  in  de  dark,  widout 
de  he'p  er  de  dogs,  an'  de  dogs  done  gone 
'way  off  yander.  He  got  his  head  kiwered, 
but  'spite  er  dis  he  bleeze  ter  lissen  at  de 
scratchin',  an'  gnyawin',  an'  growlin',  an' 
he  shake  an*  shiver  wuss'n  he  y'ever 
done. 

"Somehow  er  'nother,  by  toof  er  toe- 
nail, de  creetur  got  in  de  house,  an'  no 
sooner  is  he  git  in  dan  he  'gun  ter  ramble 
'roun'  huntin'  fer  his  tail.  He  rambled,  he 
did,  an'  when  anything  got  in  his  way,  he'd 
hunch  it  over,  an'  root  it  out'n  de  way. 

75 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Pans  fell  on  de  flo',  —  slam-bang-er-rang! 
■ —  pots  got  turned  over,  an'  when  dey  roll 
'cross  de  flo'  dey  soun'  like  a  young  thun- 
derstorm. De  man,  he  lay  dar,  an'  shuck 
an'  shiver'd. 

"Bimeby  de  varmint  come  ter  de  fier- 
place  in  de  room  where  de  man  sleepin'  at. 
In  dem  days,  dey  wa'n't  no  matches,  not 
even  deze  here  smifflicatin'  kin',  an'  folks 
hatter  kiwer  up  der  fier  ef  dey  'speckted 
ter  fin'  any  dar  de  nex'  mornin' ;  'twuz  dat, 
er  walkin'  a  mile  er  mo'  fer  ter  borry  a 
chunk.  Well,  Mr.  Man  had  kiwer'd  his 
fier  atter  he  put  de  creetur's  tail  in  de  em- 
bers; he  had  ashes  on  top  er  de  embers,  an' 
de  embers  on  top  er  de  chunks  an'  coals. 
De  creetur  come  up  ter  de  h'ath,  he  did, 
an'  nosed  'roun',  an'  it  seem  like  he  smell 
siunp'n,  kaze  he  growled,  an'  den  he  whined, 
an'  wid  dat,  he  start  ter  paw  in  de  fier. 
De  way  he  scratch  an'  claw  it  up  wuz  er 

76 


Taily.Po 

sin.  De  red-hot  embers  flew'd  out  on  de 
flo',  de  live  coals  foller'd  um,  an'  den  out 
come  der  chunks,  an'  wharsomever  dey  hit 
a  blaze  sprung  up.  Some  flew'd  on  de  bed, 
an'  some  flew'd  clean  over  it.  When  de 
creetur  had  claw'd  all  de  fier  out,  dar  wuz 
his  tail  all  safe  an'  soun',  an'  he  grabbed  it 
up  in  his  mouf,  an'  went  outer  de  house  like 
dey  wuz  sump'n  atter  him. 

"By  dat  time  de  house  wuz  in  a  blaze, 
an'  not  only  de  house,  but  de  bed  whar  Mr. 
Man  wuz  layin'  at.  'Twuz  den  gittin'  close 
ter  daybreak,  an'  when  de  yiither  folks 
'gun  ter  wake  up  an'  stir  'roun',  dey  say, 
'Heyo!  some  neighbor  is  burnin'  off  his  new 
groun'.'  or  Brer  Rabbit,  settin'  in  his 
rockin'-cheer,  kinder  wunk  one  eye,  an'  say, 
'Humph!  I  'clar'  ter  gracious  ef  I  don't 
smell  smoke!'  01'  Mammy-Bammy  Big- 
Money,  'way  off  in  de  swamp,  raise  her 
head  an'  say,  'I  smells  meat  a-fryin'I'  " 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

The  little  boy  waited  a  few  minutes  to 
see  If  Uncle  Remus  had  finished  the  story, 
and  then  he  ran  off  to  tell  it  to  his  grand- 
mother. 


BROTHER  RABBIT,  BROTHER 
FOX,  AND  TWO  FAT  PULLETS 

THE  little  boy  to  whom  Uncle  Re- 
mus told  his  later  stories  was  not 
as  persistent,  not  as  insistent,  as 
was  his  father  before  him,  when  he  was  a 
youngster.  This  fact  was  not  as  pleasing 
to  the  old  man  as  might  be  expected.  He 
liked  to  be  asked  for  a  story  so  that  he 
might  have  an  opportunity  of  indulging  in 
a  friendly  dispute,  a  wrangle  of  words,  and 
then  suddenly  end  it  all  by  telling  the  tale 
that  happened  to  be  in  his  mind  at  the  mo- 
ment. In  short,  he  delighted  to  whet  the 
expectations  of  the  youngster,  and  arouse 
his  enthusiasm. 

This  particular  little  boy  never  appeared 
to  be  very  anxious  for  a  story  unless  the 
old  man  led  up  to  it  by  means  of  conver- 

79 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

sation  and  comment,  or  indicated  it  by 
some  evasive  allusion,  and  when  the  story- 
was  once  under  way,  the  child  rarely  in- 
terrupted to  ask  a  question,  so  that  Uncle 
Remus  was  frequently  in  great  doubt  as 
to  whether  the  tale  had  been  an  enjoyable 
one.  What  the  old  man  liked  best  of  all 
things  was  to  hear  children  laugh,  and  to 
feel  that  he  had  in  some  measure  added 
to  the  sum  of  their  enjoyment.  Most  of 
his  quarrels  were  mock  quarrels,  and  his 
severest  frowns  always  had  pretense  for  a 
basis. 

Over  and  above  the  results  of  his  train- 
ing which  the  old  man  —  agreeing  with  the 
grandmother  —  thought  had  been  of  a 
severity  out  of  all  proportion  to  the  charac- 
ter of  the  child,  the  little  boy  was  as  much 
interested  in  Uncle  Remus  himself  as  he 
was  in  the  stories  he  told,  for  the  old  man 
had  already  developed  into  a  tradition.  His 
80 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

name  was  as  much  a  part  of  the  family  as 
that  of  any  member  thereof,  and  if  the  child 
had  any  hero,  such  as  dwell  in  the  realm 
of  mystery  and  romance,  it  was  Uncle  Re- 
mus himself,  with  his  gray  head  and  his  air 
of  belonging  to  some  other  place  and  some 
other  time;  and  all  this  in  spite  of  the  fact 
that  no  other  person  could  take  his  place, 
or  fit  and  fill  the  position  which  he  occupied. 

One  day  when  the  little  boy  came  to  see 
the  old  man,  he  seemed  to  be  somewhat 
disturbed  about  something.  "Uncle  Remus 
—  Uncle  Remus!"  he  cried,  and  then,  re- 
membering some  admonition  that  had  to 
do  with  conduct,  he  paused. 

"Why,  honey,  what's  de  matter?  Who 
been  pesterin'  you  ?  Des  tell  me  der  name, 
an'  how  big  dey  is,  an'  I'll  see  ef  I  can't  put 
a  flea  in  der  y'ear  —  an'  maybe  two." 

"There  isn't  anything  the  matter  — 
much.  After  I  was  ready  to  go  to  bed  last 
8i 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

night,  I  did  n't  feel  very  sleepy,  and  grand- 
mother told  me  a  story.  She  said  it  was  one 
you  used  to  tell  to  papa.  But  that  was  n't 
all :  she  said  that  all  the  animals  were  once 
meat-eaters.  I  don't  see  how  that  could  be." 

"Well,  ef  dat's  all  yo'  trouble,  honey,  it 
sho'  ain't  much.  You  kin  put  yo'  'pen- 
nunce  in  what  Miss  Sally  say.  Ef  she  tells 
you  de  creeturs  wuz  meat-eaters,  dey  sho' 
wuz,  an'  ef  she  tell  you  dat  dey  ain't  never 
is  eat  no  meat,  you  kin  put  it  down  des  dat 
away." 

"Grandmother  was  telling  how  Brother 
Rabbit  got  some  meat  from  Mr.  Man," 
said  the  little  boy  by  way  of  explanation. 

"Yasser!"  exclaimed  Uncle  Remus,  en- 
thusiastically. "It  seem  des  like  yistiddy 
I  wuz  tellin'  dat  tale  ter  yo'  pappy.  He 
wuz  settin'  right  on  dat  bench  dar,  foolin' 
wid  my  shoe-knife  an'  mixin'  de  big  pegs 
wid  de  little  uns,  an'  I  hatter  holla  at  'im 

82 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

mo'n  once.  He  wuz  some  bigger  dan  what 
you  is,  an'  he  had  mo'  life  in  him  dan  a 
quart  er  camphene.  It  seem  jus'  like  'twuz 
yistiddy,  but  he  done  grow'd  up,  an'  now 
here  you  is,  not  much  bigger  dan  a  bunch 
er  ripe  chanyberries  what  de  robins  been 
tamperin'  wid.  Ez  Miss  Sally  say.  Time  is 
got  a  heaper  flewjus  mixt  up  wid  it.  You 
think  it's  a-standin'  still,  but  all  dat  time 
it's  des  a-callyhootin',  an'  a-humpin',  an' 
a-totin'  de  mail.  You  can't  hear  de  ingine, 
but  dey's  one  dar,  an'  a  mighty  big  un  at 
dat,  an'  it's  gwine  yander." 

"Where  is  it  going?"  asked  the  little  boy. 

"It's  gwine  whar  it's  gwine,  dat's  whar 
it's  gwine,"  replied  Uncle  Remus,  in  a  tone 
and  with  an  air  that  seemed  to  render 
further  inquiry  not  only  unnecessary,  but 
altogether  absurd.  "It  ain't  doin'  nothin' 
but  des  a-gwine,  an'  when  it  gits  whar 
it's  gwine,  it  keeps  on  a-gwine;  an'  ef  you 

83 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

wanter  go  wid  it,  go  you  kin,  ef  you'll  des 
le'  me  stay  right  whar  I  is." 

The  little  boy  said  nothing  more  on  that 
subject,  which  was  quite  beyond  his  com- 
prehension. He  sat  quite  still  while  Uncle 
Remus  sharpened  his  pocket-knife,  which 
was  a  large  horn-handle  affair,  and  bore  the 
marks  of  long  usage.  "Grandmother  said 
you  were  not  the  only  person  that  said  the 
animals  ate  meat,  or  something  else  besides 
vegetables.  She  told  how  Plutarch  said 
something  about  the  sheep  eating  fish." 

"Did  she  say  dat?"  inquired  Uncle  Re- 
mus. When  the  little  boy  nodded  his  head 
in  the  affirmative,  the  old  negro  closed  his 
eyes  and  seemed  to  be  reflecting.  Pres- 
ently he  returned  to  the  subject.  "Plu- 
tarch! Is  Miss  Sally  say  what  plantation 
he  live  on?"  The  child  shook  his  head. 
"Well,"  responded  Uncle  Remus,  with  a 
sigh  of  relief,  "he  ain't  never  is  live  in  deze 
84 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

parts,  kaze  ef  he  had  I  'd  'a'  know'd  'im.  I 
'speck  Miss  Sally  hear  talk  un  him  de  time 
she  went  ter  Ferginny,  kaze  ef  dey'd  'a' 
been  any  Plutarch  'mongs'  de  niggers  in 
deze  diggin's  I  'd  'a'  know'd  'im. 

"Le'  'im  be  whar  he  will  er  whar  he  kin, 
de  creeturs  all  use  ter  eat  meat  stidder 
grass  an'  hay,  an'  it  hatter  be  fresh.  Dey 
wuz  all  so  greedy  dat  bimeby  fresh  meat 
'gun  ter  git  skace,  an'  dey  hatter  study  how 
an'  whar  dey  gwine  git  it,  an'  how  dey 
gwine  keep  it  fum  de  balance  un  um  atter 
dey  got  it.  It  got  so,  atter  while,  dat  dey 
hatter  all  gi'  a  sheer  er  what  dey  got  ter 
King  Lion,  an'  it  seem  like  he  had  a  y'appe- 
tite  bigger  dan  a  th'ashin'  machine.  Den 
de  time  come  when  King  Lion  stuck  a  brier 
in  his  foot,  an'  de  yuther  creeturs  hatter 
set  up  all  night  an'  git  up  'fo'  day  fer  ter 
keep  'im  wid  'nough  fresh  meat  fer  ter  keep 
'im  fum  starvin'  ter  deff. 
8s 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"He'd  lay  dar  an'  groan,  twel  some  un 
um  come  in  wid  a  Iiunk  er  fresh  meat,  an' 
den  he'd  growl  an'  ax  um  ef  dat  'uz  all  dey 
kin  fetch.  Long  'bout  dat  time  his  foot  got 
so  bad  dat  he  hatter  sen'  fer  de  doctor  — 
an'  whom  should  de  doctor  be  but  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit  hisse'f!  He  ain't  had  no  powders 
an'  he  ain't  had  no  pills,  but  he  know  a 
mighty  heap  'bout  yarbs  an'  such  like  green 
truck.  He  know  how  to  make  bergamot 
grease  fer  ter  put  on  his  ha'r  when  he  go  to 
see  Miss  Meadows  an'  de  gals;  he  know  dat 
peach-leaf  poultice  is  good  fer  biles;  he 
know  dat  sheep-sorrel  salve  is  good  fer  ol' 
sores;  an'  he  know  dat  white  turkentime 
an'  mutton-suet  will  heal  up  fresh  hurts 
an'  cuts.  De  creeturs  hear  'im  talkin'  'bout 
all  er  deze  salves  an'  truck,  an',  des  fer  fun 
dey  call  'im  dock  when  dey  ain't  frettin' 
'bout  de  way  he  been  doin'  um. 

"Well,  ol'  King  Lion  sont  fer  de  doctor, 
86 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

an'  Brer  Rabbit  looked  in  on  'im  fer  ter  see 
what  mought  be  done  fer  'im.  Now,  ter 
look  at  de  paw  what  de  brier  wuz  stuck  in, 
Brer  Rabbit  hatter  go  monstus  close  ter 
King  Lion's  mouf,  which  wuz  spang  full  er 
blood  red  tongue  an'  shiny  tushes,  an'  he 
ain't  like  dat  kinder  business  nohow.  Eve'y 
time  Brer  Rabbit  'ud  feel  de  hot  brefif  er 
King  Lion  blowin'  on  'im,  he'd  flinch  an' 
swink  up,  an'  when  ol'  King  Lion  gaped, 
Brer  Rabbit  like  ter  fainted  dead  away. 
But  he  fumble  'roun'  an'  stayed  dar  de  best 
he  kin,  an'  fix  up  de  paw  wid  some  kinder 
soothin'  salve  fer  ter  draw  de  infermation 
out,  an'  den  he  say  his  so-long. 

"When  he  come  outen  King  Lion's 
house,  he  tuck  notice  dat  uv  all  de  creeturs 
waitin'  der  turn  fer  ter  go  in,  Brer  Fox 
wa'n't  dar.  He  up  an'  ax,  he  did,  *Whar 
Brer  Fox?'  Nobody  make  answer.  Den 
Brer  Rabbit  holla  out,  loud  ez  what  he  kin, 

87 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

'Is  anybody  seed  Brer  Fox?'  Dey  shuck 
der  heads,  one  an'  all;  nobody  ain't  seed 
'im.  Den  Brer  Rabbit  he  poled  off  down 
de  big  road.  Soon  ez  he  got  out'n  sight  er 
de  crowd,  he  sot  down  by  de  side  er  de  road 
an'  had  a  laughin'  spell  dat  lasted  fer  de 
longest.  Mo'  dan  once  he  made  a  motion 
like  he  gwineter  git  up  fum  dar  an'  go  on 
whar  he  gwine,  but  'fo'  he  got  on  his  feet 
good,  de  giggles 'd  git  de  better  un  'im,  an' 
he'd  hatter  set  down  ag'in. 

"Atter  so  long  a  time  he  got  so  he  kin 
walk,  an'  den  he  put  out  down  de  big  road. 
He  come  ter  whar  de  roads  cross,  when  who 
should  he  meet  but  ol'  Brer  Fox!  An'  not 
only  Brer  Fox,  but  two  fat  pullets,  an'  de  oV 
puddle  duck  what  been  waddlin'  'roun'  in 
dem  neighborhoods  fer  mo'  years  dan  I  kin 
tell  you.  Brer  Rabbit,  he  howdied,  an' 
Brer  Fox,  he  hello'd,  an'  den  Brer  Rabbit 
he  up  an'  ax  him  whar  he  been  all  dis  long 
88 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

time,  mo'  speshually  sence  he  wa'n't  up  dar 
whar  King  Lion  live  at.  '  Dey  wuz  a  mighty 
inquirement  fer  you,  Brer  Fox,'  sez  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit,  sezee,  *an'  I  tol'  um  all  dat  you 
wuz  kinder  feeble,  here  lately,  an'  dat  you 
wuz  tryin'  fer  ter  pick  up  some  flesh.  An', 
sho'  'nough,  you  wuz.'  Wid  dat,  Brer 
Rabbit  flick  a  thistle  seed  off'n  his  nose 
wid  his  behime  foot. 

"Brer  Fox  look  kinder  sheepish  when  he 
hear  dat,  an'  he  ax  Brer  Rabbit  ef  King 
Lion  make  any  inquirements  'bout  'im. 
Brer  Rabbit  'low,  'He  call  out  yo'  name 
mo'  dan  once,  an'  he  put  some  langwidge 
'roun'  it  dat  'ud  burn  a  hole  in  my  tongue 
ef  I  wuz  ter  say  it.  I  hope  he'll  be  feelin' 
better  when  nex'  you  see  'im.'  Brer  Fox, 
he  say,  sezee,  'Fer  goodness'  sake.  Brer 
Rabbit!  Did  he  up  an'  cuss?'  Brer  Rabbit 
'low,  he  did,  'I  ain't  no  toter  er  tales,  Brer 
Fox,  but  ef  you  kin  git  out'n  yo'  min'  any- 

89 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

thing  wuss  dan  cussin'  den  dat  des  what 
King  Lion  say/  Brer  Fox  ax  what  he  gwine 
ter  do  'bout  it,  an'  Brer  Rabbit  say  he  be 
bless'  ef  he  know. 

"Dey  jower'd  awhile,  an'  'bout  de  time 
dat  Brer  Fox  wuz  gwineter  say  his  so-long, 
Brer  Rabbit,  atter  feelin'  in  his  pockets,  an' 
lookin'  skeered  like  he  done  los'  sump'n, 
pull  out  a  piece  er  paper  an'  hoi'  it  up.  He 
'low,  *  Atter  ol'  King  Lion  had  his  spell  er 
warm  talk,  he  han'  me  dis,  an'  say  dat  I 
wuz  ter  show  it  when  I  seed  you.  Now,  ter 
make  sho'  dat  you  seed  it,  des  t'ar  off  one 
cornder,  an'  gi'  it  to  King  Lion  when  nex' 
you  see  'im.  'Tain't  nothin'  'tall  but  a 
soople-peeny.'  Brer  Fox,  he  look  at  it 
kinder  sideways.  He  'low,  *Is  dey  any 
writin'  on  it?  Kaze  ef  dey  is  'tain't  gwine 
ter  do  me  no  good  fer  ter  look  at  it;  I  kin 
read  readin',  but  I  can't  read  writin'.'  Brer 
Rabbit  say  dat's  de  case  wid  him,  'ceppin' 
90 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

dat  he  kin  read  writin',  but  he  can't  read 
readin'.  Brer  Fox,  he  ax,  he  did,  *What  do 
de  writin'  say?'  Brer  Rabbit,  he  kinder 
wrinkle  up  his  forrer'd,  an'  hoi'  out  de  paper 
like  you've  seed  ol'  folks  do.  He  make  like 
he  readin',  an'  he  'low,  'All  an'  simely, 
whichever,  an'  whoever,  an'  wharsomever, 
speshually  de  howcome  an'  de  whatshis- 
name,  de  'fo'  said,  flainter  an'  flender,  le' 
'im  come  headfo'most  inter  de  court-house, 
whar  de  high  she'ff  an'  de  low  kin  lay  'im 
down  an'  flatten  'im  out;  all  whomst  she 
mought  consarn.   'Nough  said.'  " 

The  little  boy  stared  at  Uncle  Remus 
with  wide  eyes,  as  though  the  old  man  had 
lost  his  senses.  "What  did  all  that  mean?" 
he  asked. 

"It  mean  dat  King  Lion  want  Brer  Fox 
fer  ter  come  up  dar  whar  he  kin  git  bofe 
paws  on  'im,  dat  what  it  mean!"  When  he 
began  to  answer  the  little  boy's  query, 

91 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Uncle  Remus  had  pretended  to  be  some- 
what indignantj  but  it  suddenly  dawned  on 
him  that  Brother  Rabbit  was  only  pre- 
tending that  he  had  a  paper  from  King 
Lion,  and  his  frown  spread  itself  out  into  a 
smile  that  was  pleasing  to  see.  "  'Twould 
'a'  meant  dat,  honey,  ef  dey 'd  'a'  been  any 
writin'  on  de  paper,  but  Brer  Rabbit  wuz 
des  playin'  one  er  his  pranks.  He  had  one 
eye  on  dem  fat  pullets  an'  dat  ol'  Widdle- 
Waddle  Puddle  Duck,  dat 's  what  he  had, 
an'  time  he  see  Brer  Fox  totin'  um,  he  'gun 
ter  worry  how  he  gwineter  git  one  er  bofe, 
or  all  un  um. 

"Brer  Rabbit  ain't  let  on  'bout  de  pullets 
an'  ol'  Widdle-Waddle,  but  he  had  um  in 
his  eye  an'  likewise  in  his  min'.  So  he  say, 
'Now  you  done  hear  what  de  paper  say. 
Brer  Fox,  you  better  foller  de  sesso.  Here 
de  piece  what's  tor'd  off;  take  dat  an'  put 
it  in  yo'  pocket,  an'  when  ol'  King  Lion  ax 
92 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

you  is  you  seed  me,  des  show  it  —  an'  don't 
be  all  day  'bout  it,  nudder.'  Brer  Fox  ax  is 
he  got  time  fer  ter  take  his  meat  home,  an' 
Brer  Rabbit  'low  dat  he  is.  Wid  dat,  he  put 
out  down  de  road,  an'  Brer  Rabbit  sot  right 
flat  on  de  groun'  an'  laugh,  twel,  ef  you'd 
'a'  seed  'im,  you'd  'a'  said  he  done  fin'  a 
new  gigglin'  place. 

"He  foller'd  long  atter  Brer  Fox,  but 
tuck  keer  fer  ter  keep  out'n  sight.  He  seed 
Brer  Fox  run  in  his  house,  fer  ter  put  ol' 
Widdle-Waddle  an'  de  pullets  'way.  Den 
he  run  out  ag'in,  foller'd  by  his  ol'  'oman, 
an'  he  hear  her  holla  out,  *  You  better  come 
on  back  here  an'  he'p  me  wid  deze  chillun 
er  yone,  kaze  it's  a  mighty  fine  sitiwation 
when  a  'oman,  an'  her  not  well  at  dat,  has 
ter  do  eve'y  blessed  thing  dey  is  ter  be  done 
—  split  up  de  wood  ter  make  a  fier,  pick  up 
de  chips  fer  ter  kin'le  it  wid,  do  all  de  cook- 
in',  all  de  puUin'  an'  haulin',  an'  take  keer 
93 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

er  all  yo'  good-for-nothin'  chlllun!  You 
better  come  on  back  here,  I  tell  you!'  But 
by  dat  time,  Brer  Fox  wuz  done  gone. 

"Brer  Rabbit  stay'd  whar  he  wuz  a  right 
smart  whet,  long  'nough  fer  Brer  Fox  ter 
mos'  git  whar  he  gwine,  an'  den  he  sa'nter'd 
out  in  de  big  road  an'  make  his  way  ter 
Brer  Fox'  house.  He  went  up,  he  did, 
monstus  perlite  —  it  look  like  butter  won't 
melt  in  mouf.  He  open  de  gate  slow,  an'  he 
make  sho'  it  wuz  shet  behime  'im.  He 
went  ter  de  do'  an'  rap  on  it,  an'  stan'  dar 
wid  his  hat  in  his  han',  an'  look  mighty 
umble-come-tumble. 

"or  Miss  Fox,  she  open  de  do',  she 
did,  an'  Brer  Rabbit  pass  de  time  er  day 
wid  'er,  an'  den  say  he  got  a  message  fer 
her  some'rs  in  his  pocket,  ef  he  kin  y'ever 
fin'  it.  Alter  so  long  a  time,  he  fin'  de 
paper  what  Brer  Rabbit  say  come  fum 
ol'  King  Lion.   He  han'  her  dis,  an'  Miss 

94 


^-:,' |iS,^J%^ 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

Fox  say  she  ain't  a  good  han'  at  readin', 
not  sence  de  chillun  broke  her  fur-seein' 
specks,  an'  she  dunner  what  de  name  er 
goodness  she  gwine  do,  speshually  when 
her  oV  man  ain't  skacely  got  time  fer  ter 
stay  at  home,  an'  when  he  does  run  in  it 
look  like  de  flo'll  burn  blisters  in  his  feet, 
an'  she  say  ef  she'd  'a'  know'd  at  fust  what 
she  know  at  last,  she'd  take  two  long  thinks 
and  a  mighty  big  thunk  'fo'  she'd  marry 
anybody  in  de  roun'  worl'.  Brer  Rabbit,  he 
'low,  'Yassum!'  an'  den  he  up  an'  tell  'er 
dat  he  met  Brer  Fox,  which  King  Lion  done 
sont  'im  a  soople-peeny.  Brer  Fox  ax  'im 
how  he  gittin'  on,  an'  Brer  Rabbit  say  he'd 
be  gittin'  on  purty  well  ef  he  had  anything 
ter  eat  at  his  house.  (All  dis  is  de  tale  dat 
Brer  Rabbit  wuz  po'in'  in  ol'  Miss  Fox' 
y'ear.)  Den  Brer  Fox  wipe  his  eye  an'  say 
'tain't  gwine  do  fer  Brer  Rabbit  ter  go 
widout  eatin'.  01'  Miss  Fox  break  inter  de 

9S 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

tale  wid,  'I  wish  he'd  wipe  his  eye  'bout 
some  er  my  troubles;  his  eye  is  dry  'nough 
when  he's  'roun'  here/ 

"Brer  Rabbit  'low,  'Yassum!'  an'  den 
he  say  dat  Brer  Fox  'low  ez  how  no  longer'n 
dat  ve'y  mornin'  he  fotch  home  two  fat  pul- 
lets an'  ol'  Widdle-Waddle  Puddle  Duck, 
an'  he  say  Brer  Rabbit  kin  have  his  choosen- 
ment  er  de  pullets  er  der  puddle  duck.  Mo' 
dan  dat,  Brer  Rabbit  say.  Brer  Fox  sot 
right  flat  in  de  road  an'  writ  Miss  Fox  a 
note,  so  dat  she'll  know  his  will  an'  desire- 
ments. 

"01'  Miss  Fox  look  at  Brer  Rabbit 
mighty  hard.  She  done  tell  'im  'bout  her 
fur-seein'  specks,  an'  she  say  dat  ef  de  letter 
ain't  read  twel  she  reads  it,  she  mighty  sorry 
fer  de  letter.  She  tuck  it  an'  turn  it  upper- 
side  down  an'  roun'  an'  roun',  an'  den  han' 
it  back  ter  Brer  Rabbit,  wid,  'What  do  she 
say?'    Brer  Rabbit,  he  cle'r'd  his  th'oat, 

96 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

an'  make  out  he  readin';  he  say,  'Ter  all 
whomst  it  mought  contrive  er  consarn, 
bofe  now  an'  presently:  Be  so  pleased  ez 
ter  let  Brer  Rabbit  have  de  pullets  er  de 
puddle  duck.  I'm  well  at  dis  writin'  an'  'a' 
hopin'  you  er  enjoyin'  de  same  shower  er 
blessin's.' 

"'Whatsomever  it  mought  er  been, 
'tain't  no  love-letter,'  sez  ol'  Miss  Fox,  sez 
she,  an'  den  she  fotch  out  de  two  fat  pullets, 
an'  Brer  Rabbit,  he  mosied  off  home,  sing- 
in'  de  song  dat  tells  'bout  how  Mr.  Fox  done 
lef  de  towny-o." 

Uncle  Remus  paused,  leaned  his  head 
back,  and  groaned.  "Is  that  all?"  asked 
the  little  boy.  "It  mought  be,  an'  den  ag'in 
it  mought  n't,"  the  old  man  responded.  "It 
'pen's  on  who's  a-tellin'  de  tale.  Some  folks 
would  cut  it  right  short  off  an'  let  it  go  at 
dat,  but  not  me.  When  I  starts  fer  ter  tell 
a  tale,  I  pursues  it  right  ter  de  en'  des  like 

97 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

de  creeturs  wuz  pursuin'  one  an'er  —  des 
like  de  big  men  is  pursuin'  de  little  men, 
wid  de  little  men  gittin'  ter  kiwer,  an* 
a-hittin'  back  ez  dey  run. 

*'One  thing  Brer  Rabbit  know  mighty- 
nigh  ez  well  ez  he  know  dat  he's  hongry. 
He  know  'twon't  never  do  in  de  roun'  worl' 
fer  Brer  Fox  fer  ter  go  back  home,  an'  fin' 
out  how  de  pullets  went.  So  when  he  git 
out'n  sight  er  Brer  Fox'  house,  he  whipped 
up  an'  went  a-runnin'  home  des  ez  hard  ez 
he  kin,  an'  he  tell  his  ol'  lady  fer  ter  take  de 
pullets  an'  fix  um  fine  wid  de  kinder  doin's 
dey  has  wid  chickens,  kaze  he  mought  have 
comp'ny.  He  say  he  got  ter  go  back  an'  see 
how  ol'  King  Lion's  paw  gittin'  on,  an'  he 
put  out  fer  ter  be  dar  'fo'  Brer  Fox  come 
'way. 

"  He  lit  out,  he  did,  an'  fa'rly  burnt  up  de 
big  road  wid  his  footsies  —  bookity-hookity 
—  an'  when  he  git  dar,  sho'  'nough.  Brer 
98 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

Fox  wuz  dar,  lookin'  like  de  really-truly 
goodness  wuz  des  drippin'  fum  his  mouf,  an' 
oozin'  fum  his  hide.  You  may  'a'  seed  folks 
dat  look  umble-come-tumble,  but  you  ain't 
never  is  see  nobody  dat  got  umble-come^ 
tumbleness  down  ez  fine  ez  what  Mr.  Fox 
had  it.  An'  a  mighty  good  reason,  kaze  he 
wuz  skeered  dat  King  Lion  wuz  gwine  ter 
haul  'im  over  de  coals  fer  not  fetchin'  de 
meat  dat  he  ought  er  fotch  'im.  When  Brer 
Fox  got  ter  whar  King  Lion  do  de  kingin', 
dey  wuz  a  whole  passel  er  creeturs  ahead  un 
'im,  an'  mighty  nigh  all  un  um  had  some 
meat,  an'  dem  what  ain't  had  it,  come  wid 
some  tale  fer  ter  skusen  deyse'f.  Dey  went 
in,  one  by  one,  an'  had  der  confab,  an'  den 
come  out  ag'in,  some  lookin'  glad  an'  some 
lookin'  mad;  an'  all  dat  time  dar  sot  Brer 
Fox  waitin'  his  turn. 

"He  wuz  might'ly  holp  up  when  he  see 
Brer  Rabbit,  kaze  he  know'd  dat  Brer  Rab- 

99 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

bit,  bein'  de  doctor,  kin  git  in  dar  'fo'  any- 
body. He  hail  Brer  Rabbit,  an'  say  he 
mighty  glad  fer  ter  see  'im  once  mo',  live  an' 
well,  an'  Brer  Rabbit  'spon'  dat  he  monstus 
glad  fer  ter  see  Brer  Fox.  He  'low,  'I'm 
mo'  dan  glad  fer  ter  see  you  ain't  been  in 
dar  whar  de  King 's  doin'  his  kingin'  at,'  sez 
ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  sezee.  *I  wuz  fear'd  you'd 
take  a  notion  an'  go  in  dar  'fo'  I  kin  git  back, 
an'  dat  'ud  'a'  been  mighty  bad  fer  you  — 
it  sho'  would.'  Den  Brer  Rabbit  look  like 
he  studyin',  an'  bimeby,  he  up  an'  say, 
sezee,"  Brer  Fox,  you  stay  right  whar  you  is, 
an'  don't  try  ter  go  in  dar  whar  de  King  at 
twel  I  gi'  you  de  word;  I  dunner  what  he 
mought  do  ter  you.'  Brer  Fox  say  he 
mighty  glad  Brer  Rabbit  got  dar  in  time  fer 
ter  save  his  hide. 

"Now,  Brer  Rabbit  bein*  de  doctor,  he 
had  de  right  fer  ter  go  in  dar  whar  de  King 
at  widout  any  stan'in'  'roun'  an'  waitin', 

ICO 


Two  Fat  Pullets 

an'  he  elbow'd  his  way  thoo  de  waitin'  cree- 
turs,  spite  or  der  spittin'  an'  growlin',  an' 
went  right  on  in  whar  King  Lion  at.  His 
paw  wuz  all  wropped  up,  an'  he  wuz  des 
drappin'  off  ter  sleep,  an'  whiles  Brer  Rab- 
bit wuz  lookin'  at  'im,  he  turned  loose,  he 
did,  an'  'gun  ter  sno'  like  he  done  swaller'd 
a  boss,  mane  an'  huff.  Seein'  dat,  Brer 
Rabbit  make  a  bow,  an'  go  right  out  whar 
Brer  Fox  an'  de  yiither  creeturs  wuz  waitin' 
at. 

"Soon  ez  Brer  Fox  see  dis,  he  ax  Brer 
Rabbit  what  de  news.  Brer  Rabbit  tuck 
'im  off  one  side,  an'  tell  'im  he  better  go  on 
home,  kaze  King  Lion  wuz  tur'bly  put  out 
by  de  way  Brer  Fox  been  gwine  on.  *I 
begged  off  fer  you,  Brer  Fox,'  sez  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit,  sezee,  *an'  he  say  dat  he'll  skuzen 
you  dis  time,  but  de  nex'  time — '  Brer 
Rabbit  make  a  motion  like  he  takin'  off  his 
head.  *You  better  go  on  home.  Brer  Fox,' 

lOI 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

sezee,  *  'fo'  yo'  ol'  'oman  gives  'way  dem 
fine  fat  pullets  what  I  seed  you  wid  dis 
momin'/  Brer  Fox  laugh;  he  say  he'd  like 
fer  ter  see  somebody  git  dem  pullets  'way 
fum  his  ol'  'oman.  '  Ef  you  kin  git  um,  Brer 
Rabbit,'  sezee,  'youer  mo'  dan  welcome.' 
'Desso!'  Brer  Rabbit  'low,  'Thanky,  Brer 
Fox,  thanky !'  an'  he  went  lippity-clippitin' 
down  de  road,  laughin'  so  loud  dat  Brer 
Fox  stop  an'  look  at  'im,  wid  'I'd  like  ter 
know  what's  de  joke'  kinder  'spression  on 
his  coun'nance." 


HOW  BROTHER  RABBIT  BROUGHT 

FAMILY  TROUBLE  ON 

BROTHER  FOX 

THE  little  boy  sat  in  a  thoughtful 
attitude  after  Uncle  Remus  had 
told  him  how  Brother  Rabbit  had 
fraudulently  secured  Brother  Fox's  pullets. 
He  had  been  taught  never  to  ignore  the 
difference  between  right  and  wrong  —  jus- 
tice and  injustice  —  and  in  his  mind  the 
line  between  the  two  was  sharply  and 
deeply  drawn.  He  sat  reflecting,  while 
Uncle  Remus  busied  himself  about  his  work- 
bench, on  one  end  of  which  was  his  favorite 
seat.  He  arranged  and  rearranged  his  tools, 
and  then  folded  his  hands  in  his  lap  with  an 
air  of  satisfaction.  He  evidently  expected 
the  youngster  to  make  some  comment  or 
observation,  and  when  he  had  waited  a  little 
103 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

while,  he  made  a  remark  calculated  to  draw 
the  child  out. 

"I'm  fear'd  you  ain't  feelin'  well,  honey. 
Sump'n  in  dat  tale  must  'a'  made  you  feel 
bad."  The  little  boy  looked  at  him,  but 
made  no  response.  "Wharbouts  in  de  tale 
wuz  you  tooken  sick  at?"  Uncle  Remus  in- 
quired, with  a  great  display  of  solicitude. 

"Why,  I'm  not  sick,  Uncle  Remus,'* 
replied  the  lad. 

"Well,  I'm  monstus  glad  ter  hear  it," 
the  old  man  responded,  "kase  you  sho'  had 
me  skeer'd.  A  little  mo',  an'  I'd  'a'  tol'  you 
fer  ter  run  an'  let  yo'  granny  look  at  yo' 
tongue  an'  feel  er  yo'  pulsh."  The  child 
laughed  at  this,  and  then  became  serious 
again.  "  Dey 's  sump'n  de  matter  wid  you," 
Uncle  Remus  insisted,  "kaze  eve'y  sence 
I  tol'  you  dat  tale,  you  been  lookin'  like  you 
got  mo'  on  yo'  min'  dan  you  kin  tote." 

"I  was  just  thinking,"  said  the  child, 
104 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

somewhat  shyly  —  he  was  always  embar- 
rassed when  commenting  on  Uncle  Remus*s 
stories — "I  was  just  thinking  that  when 
Brother  Rabbit  got  the  chickens  from 
Brother  Fox,  he  was  really  stealing  them." 

"Dey  ain't  no  two  ways  'bout  dat,"  said 
Uncle  Remus  complacently.  "But  what 
wuz  Brer  Fox  doin'  when  he  got  um?  Pul- 
lets an'  puddle-ducks  don't  grow  on  trees, 
an'  it's  been  a  mighty  long  time  sence  dey 
been  runnin'  wil'.  No,  honey!  Dey's  a 
heap  er  idees  dat  you  got  ter  shake  off  ef 
you  gwineter  put  de  creeturs  'longside  er 
folks;  you'll  hatter  shake  um,  an'  shuck 
um.  Creeturs  could  talk  like  folks  in  dat 
day  an'  time,  an'  dey  kin  do  a  heap  er  things 
what  folks  do;  but  you  kin  see  de  diffunce 
fer  yo'se'f.  Folks  got  der  laws,  an'  de  cree- 
turs got  der'n,  an'  it  bleeze  ter  be  dat-a- 
way. 

"Brer  Rabbit  took  de  pullets  when  by 
105 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

good  rights  he  oughter  lef  um  whar  he  fin' 
um,  but  you'll  Tarn  fer  yo'se'f  dat  dey's 
a  heap  er  folks  lots  wuss  dan  Brer  Rabbit, 
when  it  comes  ter  takin'  what  ain't  der'n, 
an'  when  you  Tarn  it  you'll  look  back  on 
dese  times  an'  feel  so  sorry  dat  you  ain't 
got  um  wid  you  dat  you'll  hatter  wipe  yo' 
eyes  an'  blow  yo'  nose  —  an'  I  'm  a-hopin' 
mighty  strong  dat  you  won't  be  tryin'  fer 
ter  show  off  in  no  gal  comp'ny  when  you 
does  it,  kaze  dat'd  make  Miss  Sally  turn 
in  her  grave." 

These  remarks  were  way  beyond  the 
little  boy,  but  he  accepted  them  as  an  ex- 
planation, though  it  was  not  altogether 
satisfactory.  He  seemed  to  imagine  that 
if  the  animals  could  talk  and  reason  in  the 
way  that  Uncle  Remus  represented  them, 
they  should  have  some  idea  of  the  differ- 
ence between  right  and  wrong.  The  old 
negro  had  no  difficulty  whatever  in  per- 

io6 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

ceiving  the  nature  of  the  child's  trouble,  and 
he  dealt  with  it  as  seriously  and  as  solemnly 
as  he  knew  how. 

"It  seem  like,"  he  said,  glancing  at  the 
little  boy,  "dat  folks  is  got  one  way  er 
lookin'  at  things,  an'  it's  all  bleeze  ter  be 
des  de  way  dey  think  it  oughter  be.  Ef  dey 
had  diffunt  eyes,  an'  ef  deze  eyes  wuz  on  a 
dififunt  level,  dey  would  n't  see  de  way  dey 
does  now;  what  dey  see  would  be  a  little 
mo'  slonchways,  an'  den  eve'ybody  would 
git  dififunt  idees.  Well,  de  dififunt  eyes  an' 
de  dififunt  idees  dat  folks  mought  'a'  had, 
dat  des  zackly  what  de  creeturs  got.  What 
dey  see  dey  see  slonchways,  stidder  upen- 
dickler.  Folks  got  der  ways,  an'  de  creeturs 
is  got  der'n,  an'  deze  yer  ways  wuz  proned 
in  um  fum  de  fust. 

"Creetur  law  ain't  folks'  law,  nohow  you 
kin  fix  it,"  Uncle  Remus  went  on,  with  the 
unction  of  a  country  preacher.  "Dar  wuz 
107 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

or  Brer  Fox,  wid  his  pullets  an'  his  puddle- 
duck;  an'  you  done  got  de  idee  dat  Brer 
Rabbit  done  wrong  when  he  work  his  head 
an'  ban's  fer  ter  git  holt  un  um.  But  le'  me 
ax  you  dis:  Whar  did  Brer  Fox  git  um?  He 
ain't  git  um  at  home,  kaze  he  wuz  totin' 
um  dar  when  we  fust  run  across  'im;  he 
ain't  git  um  in  de  woods,  kaze  pullets  an' 
puddle-ducks  ain't  grow  on  trees  —  an'  ef 
dey  is.  Brer  Fox  can't  dim'  no  higher  dan 
he  kin  jump.  Now,  you  kin  put  it  down 
an'  carry  four,  dat  wharsomever  Brer  Fox 
lay  ban's  on  um,  he  ain't  buy'd  um,  an' 
needer  wuz  dey  gun  ter  'im.  Dat  much  you 
don't  hatter  guess  at;  you  des  knows  it  by 
yo'  nose  an'  yo'  two  big  toes. 

"Let  'lone  dat,  de  pullets  an'  de  puddle- 
duck  mought  not  'a'  b'long'd  ter  de  one 
what  Brer  Fox  tuck  um  fum,  an'  I  boun' 
you  dat  'twould  take  a  mighty  long  time  fer 
ter  hunt  up  an'  s'arch  out  de  nick-names  an' 

io8 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

de  pettygrees  er  all  dem  what  had  um  'fo' 
Brer  Rabbit  drapped  um  in  his  rasher-bag." 
Uncle  Remus  paused  to  take  note  of  the 
direction  of  the  wind  and  the  appearance  of 
the  sky;  then  he  sighed  and  closed  his  eyes. 
After  awhile,  the  spirit  seemed  to  move 
him,  and  he  straightened  himself  on  the 
work-bench,  and  exchanged  the  somewhat 
uncomfortable  seat  for  a  chair. 

*'Fm  mighty  glad  you  spoken'd  up  an' 
say  what  you  did,  honey,"  he  remarked, 
"kaze  a  leetle  mo',  an'  I'd  'a'  up  an'  'a' 
whirled  in,  an'  'a'  tol'  you  de  t'er  part  er  dat 
tale  'bout  Brer  Rabbit  an'  de  pullets  an'  de 
puddle-duck;  I  sho'  would,  an'  den  you'd 
'a'  felt  so  mighty  sorry  'bout  de  way  de 
creeturs  look  at  things,  dat  you'd  'a'  went 
behime  de  smoke-'ouse  an'  'a'  boo-hoo'd 
des  like  yo'  gizzard  wuz  gwine  ter  break  in 
two." 

The  little  boy  gave  the  old  negro  a  quick 
109 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

glance  of  reproach.  "Why,  Uncle  Remus!" 
he  exclaimed,  "I  thought  you  always  fin- 
ished a  story  when  you  begun  it;  you  said  so 
yourself/' 

In  spite  of  a  desire  to  treat  the  child 
seriously,  Uncle  Remus  grinned  broadly. 
"De  way  I  look  at  it,  honey,  you  hatter 
harness  two  bosses  one  at  a  time,  less'n  you 
got  a  man  fer  ter  he'p  you;  an'  when  youer 
tellin'  a  two-hoss  tale,  you  hatter  tell  um 
one  at  a  time.  Ef  I  wuz  ter  try  fer  ter  tell 
um  bofe  at  once,  you'd  run  ter  de  house  an' 
tell  yo'  granny  dat  ol'  man  Remus  had 
done  gone  an'  got  rid  er  his  sev'm  senses, 
an'  wuz  tryin'  fer  ter  gi'  you  a  good  strong 
dose  er  Chinee;  an'  when  you  done  dat.  Miss 
Sally  sho'  would  preach  my  funer'l  march.  I 
wa'n't  born'd  yistiddy,  an'  I  take  notice  dat 
yo'  daddy  ain't  got  de  double-bairl  gun,  an' 
dat  Miss  Sally  don't  have  but  one  boss  fer 
ter  haul  her  ter  church  Sundays.   Dat  ar 

no 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

double-buggy  dat  yo'  daddy  use  ter  drive 
up  dar  in  Atlanty  would  look  mighty  funny 
ef  it  had  mo'  dan  one  hoss  hitched  ter  it. 
Lawsy,  yes!  Everything  is  mo'  lamer  now 
dan  what  it  use  ter  be;  an'  I  bet  you  right 
now  dat  ef  de  trufe  wuz  know'd  we  er 
stan'in'  on  our  heads." 

The  little  boy  was  obliged  to  laugh  at  this 
whimsical  explanation,  and  this  gave  Uncle 
Remus  as  much  pleasure  as  the  stories  gave 
the  child.  "Ef  you'll  wet  yo'  thum',  an' 
turn  back  in  yo'  min'  'twon't  be  hard  fer 
you  ter  reckermember  dat  Brer  Fox  tol' 
Brer  Rabbit  dat  ef  he  kin  git  dem  two  fine, 
fat  pullets  fum  his  ol'  'oman,  he's  mo'  dan 
welcome  fer  ter  git  um.  But  when  Brer 
Fox  say  dat,  de  pullets  wuz  hangin'  up  at 
Brer  Rabbit  house;  he  done  got  um  wid 
dat  piece  er  paper  what  he  tuck  an'  show 
ol'  Miss  Fox.  Dat  what  make  him  laygh 
so  loud  an'  so  long. 

Ill 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"Well,  suh,  atter  Brer  Rabbit  git  done 
laughin',  he  mosied  off  home  whar  his  wife 
and  chillun  live  at,  an'  Brer  Fox,  he  went 
on  to'rds  his  house  whar  his  oV  'oman  live 
at.  Ef  he'd  'a'  had  his  eyes  shet,  he'd  'a' 
know'd  when  he  got  dar,  kaze  ol'  Miss  Fox 
wuz  stan'in'  in  de  do'  waitin'  fer  'im.  She 
'gun  ter  jaw  at  'im,  long  'fo'  he  got  in  lis'- 
nen'  distance,  an'  you  mought  'a'  hear  her 
a  mile  er  mo'.  When  he  got  whar  he  know'd 
what  she  wuz  sayin',  he  ain't  say  nothin'; 
he  des  amble  'long  twel  he  come  ter  de  do'. 
By  dat  time  ol'  Miss  Fox  wuz  so  mad  dat 
she  can't  say  nothin'  an'  do  jestice  ter  her- 
se'f,  so  she  des  stan'  dar  an'  make  motions 
wid  de  broom  what  she  had  in  her  han'. 

"Brer  Fox,  he  wipe  de  persweat  off'n  his 
face  an'  eyes,  an'  say,  'It  seem  like  ter  me 
dat  I  hear  you  talkin'  ter  some  un  des  now; 
what  wuz  you  sayin',  sugar-honey?'  Soon 
ez  she  kin  ketch  her  breff,  she  'low,  'I'll 

112 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

sugar  you!  I'll  honey  you!  What  make 
you  fetch  vlttles  home  ef  you  gwine  ter  sen* 
it  off  ag'in?  What  you  wanter  put  yo'se'f 
ter  de  trouble  er  totin'  it  ter  dis  house, 
when  you  know  you  gwineter  gi'  it  'way  des 
ez  soon  ez  you  turn  yo'  back  on  de  place? 
An'  what  business  you  got  sen'in'  ol'  Miss 
Rabbit  de  two  fine,  fat  pullets  what  you 
brung  home,  which  dey  made  me  dribble 
at  de  mouf  de  fust  time  I  seed  um?  An'  I 
ain't  mo'  dan  seed  um  'fo'  here  come  ol' 
Brer  Rabbit,  a-bowin'  an'  a-scrapin',  an' 
a-simperin'  an'  a-sniggerin',  an'  he  'low  dat 
you  done  sont  'im  fer  de  pullets.  Ef  it  had 
'a'  des  'a'  been  his  own  'lone  sesso,  he'd  'a' 
never  got  dem  pullets  in  de  roun'  worl'  — 
I  'd  'a'  gouged  out  his  goozle  fust  —  but 
here  he  come  wid  a  letter  what  you  writ, 
dough  you  know'd  good  an'  well  dat  when 
it  comes  ter  writin'  I  dunno  B  fum  BuU's- 
Foot.' 

113 


/ 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"Brer  Fox  shuck  his  head;  he  say  he 
ain't  never  writ  no  letter,  kaze  he  dunner 
how,  an'  it  seem  mighty  funny  ter  him  dat 
his  sugar-honey  an'  dumplin'-pie  don't 
know  dat  much.  01'  Miss  Fox,  she  'low, 
she  did,  dat  dumplin'-pie  ain't  chicken-pie, 
an'  den  she  rail  at  Brer  Fox.  'How  come 
you  givin'  pullets  ter  ol'  Brer  Rabbit  an' 
his  fambly,  when  yo'  own  chillun,  'twix'  yo' 
laziness  an'  de  hard  times,  is  gwine  roun' 
here  so  ga'nt  dat  dey  can't  make  a  shadder 
in  de  moonshine  ?  You  know  mighty  well  — 
none  better  —  dat  we  ain't  never  is  neigh- 
bor'd  wid  dat  kinder  trash,  an'  I  dunner 
what  done  come  over  you  dat  you  er  takin' 
vittles  out'n  yo'  own  chillun's  mouf  an' 
feedin'  dat  Rabbit  brood.' 

"Brer  Fox  vow  an'  declar'  he  ain't  done 

no  sech  uv  a  thing,  an'  his  ol'  'oman  vow  an' 

declar'  dat  he  is,  an'  she  shake  de  broom  so 

close  und'  his  nose  dat  de  hatter  sneeze. 

114 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

Den  he  'low,  *Does  you  mean  fer  ter  stan' 
dar,  flat-footed,  an'  right  'fo'  my  face  an' 
eyes,  an'  whar  yo'  own  chillun  kin  hear  you, 
an'  tell  me  dat  you  tuck  an'  gi'  Brer  Rabbit 
dem  ar  fine,  fat  pullets  what  I  brung  home? 
Does  you  mean  fer  ter  tell  me  dat?'  She 
say,  '  Ef  I  done  it,  I  done  it  kaze  you  writ 
me  a  'pistle  an'  tell  me  fer  ter  do  it.'  Brer 
Fox  'low,  *Is  you  got  de  imperdence  ter  tell 
me  dat  des  kaze  Brer  Rabbit  han'  you  a 
piece  er  paper,  wid  sump'n  n'er  marked  on 
it,  you  ain't  got  nothin'  better  ter  do  dan 
ter  up  an'  gi'  'im  de  fine,  fat  pullets  what 
I  brung  fer  ter  make  some  chicken-pie?' 

"Dis  make  ol'  Miss  Fox  so  mad  dat  she 
can't  see  straight,  an'  when  she  git  so  she 
kin  talk  plain,  she  vow  she  gwine  ter  hurt 
Brer  Rabbit  ef  it  tuck  a  lifetime  fer  ter  do 
it.  An'  dar  wuz  Brer  Fox  des  ez  mad,  ef 
not  madder.  Dey  bofe  sot  down  an'  grit  der 
tushes,  an'  mumble  an'  growl  like  dey  talk- 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

in'  ter  deyse'f.  Brer  Rabbit  wa'n^t  so 
mighty  fur  off,  an'  he  laugh  an'  laugh  twel 
he  can't  laugh  no  mo'. 

"But  whiles  he  laughin',  he  laugh  too 
loud,  an'  Brer  Fox  hear  him.  He  say  ter 
his  ol'  'oman,  'I'm  gwine  ter  git  some  rab- 
bit meat  fer  ter  make  up  fer  de  chickens 
what  you  done  give  'way.  You  be  sweepin' 
here  in  front  er  de  do',  an'  I'll  slip  roun'  de 
back  way,  an'  come  up  on  him  when  he 
ain't  thinkin'  'bout  it;  an'  whiles  you  sweep- 
in'  make  out  you  talkin'  ter  me  like  I'm  in 
de  house.'  So  said,  so  done.  Miss  Fox  she 
sweep  an'  sweep,  an'  whiles  she  sweepin* 
she  make  out  she  talkin'  ter  Brer  Fox  whiles 
he  in  de  house.  She  say,  'You  better  come 
on  out'n  dar  an'  go  on  'bout  yo'  business 
ef  you  got  any.  Here  I  'm  constant  a-gwine, 
fum  mornin'  twel  night,  an'  dar  you  is  a- 
loungin'  roun',  waitin'  fer  Brer  Rabbit  fer 
ter  play  tricks  on  you.  You  better  come 
ii6 


Brother  Fox*s  Family  Trouble 

on  out'n  dar  an  go  fin'  sump'n  n'er  ter  eat 
fer  yo'  fambly/ 

"Dat's  de  way  she  talk,  whiles  she  wuz 
pertendin'  ter  sweep,  an'  des  'bout  dat 
time,  up  come  ol'  Brer  Rabbit  wid  a  mighty 
perlite  bow.  He  tuck  off  his  hat,  he  did, 
'Good  evenin'  dis  evenin',  Miss  Fox.  I 
hope  I  see  you  well,  ma'am.'  Miss  Fox  'low 
dat  she  ain't  ez  peart  ez  she  look  ter  be,  an' 
mo'  dan  dat,  her  ol'  man  layin'  in  de  house 
right  now  wid  a  mighty  bad  case  er  de  in- 
fluendways.  Brer  Rabbit  say  he  mighty 
sorry,  but  it's  what  we  all  got  ter  look  out 
fer,  kaze  'zease  an'  trouble,  an'  one  thing 
an'  an'er,  is  all  de  time  makin'  de  roun's  er 
de  places  whar  folks  live  at.  Den  ol'  Brer 
Rabbit  kinder  hoi'  his  head  on  one  side  an' 
sorter  smile;  he  up  an'  ax,  he  did,  *Miss 
Fox,  how  you  like  dat  cut  er  caliker  what 
King  Lion  sont  you  fer  ter  make  a  frock 
out'n?   Reason  I  ax,  I'm  a-gwine  ter  see 

117 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

'im  dis  evenin',  an'  I  'most  know  dat  he'll 
ax  me  ef  you  like  de  pattern/ 

"Miss  Fox  lean  her  broom  ag'in  de 
house,  an'  put  her  han's  on  her  hips,  an' 
make  Brer  Rabbit  say  over  what  he  done 
tol'  'er.  'Well,  well,  well!'  sez  ol'  Miss  Fox, 
se'she;  'de  King  sont  me  a  caliker  frock,  an' 
I  ain't  never  lay  eyes  on  it!  Ef  dat  don't 
beat  my  time!'  Brer  Rabbit,  he  put  his 
han'  over  his  mouf  an'  cough  sorter  sof; 
he  'low,  he  did,  'You'll  hatter  skuzen  me, 
ma'am,'  sezee.  '  I  'm  afear'd  I  done  gone  an' 
said  sump'n  dat  I  oughtn'ter  say.  When  I 
knows  what  I'm  a-doin',  I  never  likes  fer 
ter  come  'twix'  man  an'  wife,  ef  I  kin  he'p 
myse'f — no,  ma'am,  not  me!  Yit  Brer  Fox 
is  right  dar  in  de  house  an'  you  kin  ax  'im, 
ef  you  don't  b'lieve  me/ 

"Fer  one  long  minnit,  Miss  Fox  wuz  so 
mad  dat  she  hatter  wait  twel  she  cotch  her 
breff '  fo'  she  kin  say  a  word.  Lots  er  wim- 

ii8 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

men  would  'a'  stood  up  dar  an'  squealed, 
but  Miss  Fox,  she  belt  ber  breff.  Quick 
ez  sbe  kin,  sbe  boiler  out,  *No,  be  ain't  in 
de  bouse;  be's  out  yan'  tryin'  fer  ter  slip 
up  on  you  'bout  dem  pullets/  *  I  'm  glad 
you  got  dat  idee,'  sez  Brer  Rabbit,  sezee, 
*kaze  it's  liable  fer  ter  keep  down  trouble. 
Ef  you  wuz  a  man.  Miss  Fox,'  sezee,  'you 
mougbt  git  de  idee  dat  be  seed  me  comin' 
an'  wuz  bidin'  out  kaze  be  fear'd  I  'd  ax  you 
'bout  dat  frock  wbat  de  King  sont  you.  It 
sbo'  wuz  a  migbty  purty  piece  er  caliker, 
an'  ef  I'd  'a'  know'd  den  wbat  I  know  now, 
I  'd  'a'  got  it  fum  Brer  Fox  an'  gi'  it  ter  my 
ol'  'oman  —  I  sbo'  would!' 

"Wid  dat.  Brer  Rabbit  make  bis  bow  an' 
ligbt  out  fum  dar;  an'  be  wa'n't  none  too 
soon,  nudder,  kaze  be  ain't  mo'  dan  got  in 
de  busbes  wbar  be  kin  bide  bisse'f,  'fo'  bere 
come  ol'  Brer  Fox.  He  look  all  roun',  but 
be  ain't  see  nobody  but  bis  ol'  'oman,  kaze 
119 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Brer  Rabbit  done  gone  along.  Brer  Fox 
say,  sezee,  'Whar  is  de  triflin'  scoundul?  I 
seed  'im  stan'in'  right  here  —  whar  is  he? 
Whar  he  gone  ? '  01'  Miss  Fox,  she  up  wid 
de  broom  an'  hit  him  a  biff  side  de  head  dat 
come  mighty  nigh  knockin'  'im  inter  one 
er  de  j'inin'  counties.  'Dat's  whar  he  is/ 
se'  she,  an'  she  fetch  her  ol'  man  a  whack 
'cross  de  backbone,  dat  soun'  like  ol'  Miss 
Jenkins  a-beatin'  dat  ol'  rag  kyarpit  by  hit- 
tin'  it  ag'in  de  fence. 

"Or  Brer  Fox  tuck  a  notion  dat  he  been 
struck  by  lightnin';  he  fell  down  an'  roll 
over,  an'  by  de  time  dat  ol'  Miss  Fox  had 
mighty  nigh  wo'  de  broom  out,  he  fin'  out 
what  'uz  happenin'.  He  holla  out,  *Why, 
laws-a-massey,  honey!  What  de  matter  wid 
you?  What  you  biffin'  me  fer?  I  ain't  Brer 
Rabbit!  Ow!  Please,  honey,  don't  bang 
me  so  hard;  I  ain't  gwine  do  it  no  mo'/ 
or  Miss  Fox  says,  se'  she,  *Ah-yi!  you  owns 

I20 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

up,  does  you  ?  You  ain't  gwine  do  it  no  mo', 
ain't  you  ?  Now,  whar  my  fine  caliker  frock 
what  de  King  sont  me?'  An'  all  de  time 
she  wuz  talkin'  she  wuz  wipin'  'im  up  wid 
de  broom.  Mon,  de  way  she  beat  dat  cree- 
tur  wuz  a  start-natchul  scandal. 

"Well,  when  Brer  Fox  got  out'n  reach, 
an'  she'd  kinder  cooled  down,  she  up  an' 
tol'  'im  bout  de  caliker  frock  what  King 
Lion  had  sont  'er,  an'  she  ax  'im  what  de 
name  er  goodness  is  he  done  wid  it,  an'  ef 
he  ain't  brung  it  home  onbeknownst  ter 
her,  who  in  de  dashes  an'  de  dickunses  is 
he  gi'  it  to?  He  vow  he  ain't  seed  no  caliker 
frock,  an'  she  'low  dat  he  done  say,  whiles 
she  wuz  a-biffin'  'im,  dat  he  ain't  gwine  do 
it  no  mo'.  Brer  Fox  say  he  ain't  know  what 
she  wuz  beatin'  'im  fer,  an'  he  was  mos' 
bleeze  ter  promise  not  ter  do  it  no  mo',  kaze 
she  wuz  hurtin'  'im  so  bad. 

"Dey  put  der  heads  tergedder,  dey  did, 

121 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

an'  collogue  an'  confab  'bout  how  dey 
gwineter  git  even  wid  Brer  Rabbit,  kaze  de 
King  ain't  sont  no  fine  caliker  frock,  an' 
needer  is  dey  got  der  two  fat  pullets.  Dar 
dey  wuz,  no  frock,  no  pullets,  an'  Brer  Rab- 
bit still  cuttin'  up  his  capers  an'  playin' 
his  pranks  on  eve'ything  an'  eve'ybody. 
Dey  say  dey  wuz  gwine  ter  ketch  'im  ef  it 
kilt  eve'y  cow  in  de  island,  wid  a  couple  er 
steers  thow'd  in  fer  good  medjur.  Dey 
wuz  gwine  ter  hide  close  ter  de  places  whar 
he  hatter  pass  by;  dey  wuz  gwineter  do  dis 
an'  dey  wuz  gwineter  do  dat,  but  what- 
somever  dey  done,  dey  wuz  gwineter  ketch 
up  wid  Brer  Rabbit. 

*'Now,  den,  it  takes  two  ter  make  a  bar- 
gain, an'  one  mo'  fer  ter  see  dat  it's  done  all 
right.  Brer  Rabbit,  he  know  mighty  well  — 
none  better  —  all  de  gwines-on  in  dat  part 
er  de  country,  an'  he  make  his  'rangerments 
'cordin'.   He  been  use  ter  keepin'  his  eye- 

122 


Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

ball  skunt  when  all  'uz  peace,  but  when  dey 
wuz  any  trouble  ahead,  he  wuz  so  nervious 
dat  he  'd  kick  out  wid  his  behime  foot  ef  a 
weed  tickled  'im.  When  it  come  down  ter 
plain  nerviousness,  he  can't  be  beat. 

"  Brer  Fox  can't  make  a  move  but  what 
Brer  Rabbit  would  know  'bout  it;  he  know'd 
when  he  went  out  an'  when  he  went  in,  an' 
he  keep  sech  a  close  watch  on  um  dat  'twuz 
e'en  about  all  he  kin  do  fer  ter  keep  Brer 
Fox  fum  ketchin'  'im.  Atter  so  long  a  timer 
Brer  Rabbit  got  tired  er  leadin'  dis  kinder 
life.  He  could  'a'  put  up  wid  it  maybe  a 
fortnight,  but  when  it  run  over  dat,  he  go, 
plum'  tired,  Brer  Rabbit  did.  Yit  it  look 
like  dat  luck  wuz  constant  a-runnin'  his 
way,  kaze  he  ain't  been  dodgin'  roun'  in  de 
bushes,  tryin'  fer  ter  keep  out'n  Brer  Fox's 
way  —  he  ain't  been  doin'  dis  mo'  dan  a 
week,  when  dere  come  word  fum  ol'  King 
Lion  fer  go  an'  see  'im.  It  seem  like  de  place 
123 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

whar  he  stuck  de  brier  in  his  han'  wuz 
kyo'd  up  too  quick,  an'  had  done  turn  inter 
a  bile  —  a  great  big  un  —  an'  it  got  so  dat 
de  King  had  ter  walk  de  flo'  all  night  des 
like  yo'  pappy  use  ter  do  when  he  had  de 
toofache. 

"Well,  Brer  Rabbit  ain't  no  sooner  git  de 
word  dan  he  run  right  straight  ter  de  place 
whar  dey  done  der  kingin'  at,  an'  'taint 
take  'im  long,  needer,  kaze  I  let  you  know, 
honey,  when  Brer  Rabbit  take  a  notion  fer 
ter  go  anywhar  right  quick,  he  des  picks  up 
de  miles  wid  his  feet  an'  draps  um  off  ag'in, 
des  like  a  dog  sheds  fleas.  He  got  dar,  he 
did,  an'  when  he  see  how  bad  de  bile  wuz, 
he  kinder  shuck  his  head  an'  rub  his  nose 
des  like  de  sho'  'nough  doctors  does.  He 
ax  um  whyn't  dey  tell  'im  'bout  dis  when  de 
bile  'gun  ter  show,  an'  dey  say  dey  been 
huntin'  fer  'im  high  an'  low,  an'  dey  can't 
fin'  'im  nowhar  an'  nohow. 
124 


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Brother  Fox's  Family  Trouble 

"  Brer  Rabbit  put  on  his  specks  an'  'low, 
Tut,  tut,  tut!  Ef  dis  ain't  too  bad!  I'm 
fear'  dey  ain't  but  one  kyo  fer  a  place  like 
dis.  I  hate  might'ly  ter  be  de  'casion  er  any 
trouble,  but  it  look  like  I'm  des  a-bleeze 
ter/  King  Lion  kinder  flinch  an'  frown 
when  he  hear  dis,  but  Brer  Rabbit  say  dat 
de  trouble  ain't  for  him,  but  fer  one  er  his 
ol'-time  'quaintance.  'Ef  you  wa'n't  de 
King,'  he  say  ter  de  Lion,  *I'd  des  let  you 
go  on  an'  suffer,  but  bein'  what  you  is,  I  'm 
bleeze  ter  pull  ol'  frien'ship  up  by  de  roots. 
Ef  you  wanter  git  well,  you'll  des  hatter 
wrop  yo'  han'  up  in  a  fox-hide.  Not  only 
dat,  but  de  hide  mus'  be  so  fresh  dat  it's 
warm.' 

"Den  Brer  Rabbit  make  out  he  'bout  ter 
cry.  He  'low,  'I  can't  b'ar  ter  tell  my  ol' 
frien'  good-by,  kaze  we  done  had  many  a 
night  tergedder,  up  an'  down  an'  roun'  de 
worl'.  De  sooner  you  gits  Brer  Fox  here  de 

I2S 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

better  —  but  I'll  hatter  ax  you  fer  ter  le' 
me  out  de  back  way,  an'  I'll  go  off  some'ers 
in  de  woods  an'  wonder  at  de  flight  er  time 
an'  de  changes  dat  de  years  is  brung.'  Den 
he  bow  ter  King  Lion;  he  say,  'De  nex'  time 
I  see  you  yo'  han'  will  be  well,  but  whar  will 
Brer  Fox  be?'  De  King  he  say,  'Why,  I'll 
sen'  you  de  kyarcass,'  but  Brer  Rabbit  say, 
'No,  please  don't,  kaze  I  could  n't  b'ar  ter 
look  at  it.  Des  sen'  it  ter  Miss  Fox;  it 
mought  be  some  sort  er  comfort  ter  dat  po' 
creetur.' " 


THE  MOST  BEAUTIFUL  BIRD 
IN  THE  WORLD 

UNCLE  REMUS  and  the  little  boy 
were  returning  from  a  long  and 
leisurely  walk  in  the  woods.  They 
had  had  a  pretty  good  time,  all  things  con- 
sidered, and  the  old  man  was  in  high  good 
humor.  The  little  boy  had  an  idea  that  the 
walk  had  been  undertaken  solely  for  his 
pleasure,  and  Uncle  Remus  allowed  him 
to  think  so;  but  the  truth  was  that  it  had  a 
purpose  behind  it.  The  old  negro  wanted 
to  locate  some  wild  hogs  that  had  long  been 
devastating  the  growing  stuff  on  the  plan- 
tation. The  wild  hogs  gave  him  no  trouble 
until  they  began  to  destroy  stuff  that  he 
himself  had  planted  —  watermelons  and 
sugar-cane  —  and  he  argued  from  this  that 
they  were  growing  bolder,  and  that  they 
127 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

would  have  to  be  captured.  So,  on  this 
particular  day,  he  had  set  out  to  find  where 
they  had  their  headquarters,  and  he  was 
successful. 

The  next  thing  would  be  to  take  the  dogs 
and  capture  them  one  by  one,  taking  care 
not  to  disturb  the  hogs  that  came  up  to  be 
fed  every  evening,  when  the  hog-feeder  be- 
gan to  call.  The  two  companions  —  the  old 
man  and  the  little  lad  —  had  started  out 
immediately  after  dinner,  and  dusk  was 
falling  when  they  returned.  But  neither  one 
was  weary;  they  had  gone  leisurely  along, 
stopping  occasionally  to  talk  about  the  in- 
teresting things  they  saw,  and  resuming 
their  walk  whenever  Uncle  Remus  thought 
the  child  had  rested  long  enough. 

The  squirrels  ran  noisily  over  the  leaves 

that  winter  had  flung  on  the  ground,  and 

went  home  by  jumping  from  tree  to  tree; 

birds  that  the  city-raised  child  had  never 

128 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

seen  before,  flitted  in  the  bushes,  or  went 
hopping,  or  running  on  the  ground.  The 
little  boy  was  interested  in  all  of  them,  but 
the  joree  seemed  especially  to  attract  his 
attention,  and  he  was  for  stopping  when- 
ever he  heard  a  scratching  in  the  dead 
leaves  and  trash.  The  joree  is  a  very  lonely 
bird,  and  you  would  judge  that  it  was  mor- 
tally afraid  of  man;  but  it  is  not  so  shy  as 
its  habits  would  lead  you  to  believe.  It  is 
not  for  flying  away  every  time  it  hears  a 
noise,  but  will  continue  scratching  for  its 
food  in  the  fence  corners  and  under  the 
bushes,  until  the  observer  ventures  too 
close,  and  then,  with  a  cheery  little  trill,  it 
will  fly  away. 

In  its  coat  of  black  and  brown  and  white, 
it  is  a  very  pretty  bird.  Its  markings  are 
peculiar,  but  nature  has  laid  them  on  so 
that  they  harmonize  effectively  with  its  sur- 
roundings in  wood  and  swamp.   The  en- 

129 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

thusiasm  of  the  little  boy  was  such  that 
Uncle  Remus  felt  obliged  to  clip  its  wings. 
This  he  endeavored  to  do,  not  by  arguing  or 
disputing,  but  in  a  way  quite  characteristic. 

The  little  boy  had  said  over  and  over 
again  that  the  joree,  with  its  comical  hop, 
back  and  forth,  as  it  stirred  up  the  leaves 
and  trash,  and  its  peculiar  coloring,  was  the 
funniest  as  well  as  the  most  beautiful  bird 
he  had  ever  seen. 

"Dat  bein'  de  case,"  remarked  Uncle 
Remus  with  a  judicial  air,  "you  ain't  never 
is  see  de  Baltimer  bird." 

"Oh,  yes!"  said  the  child;  "don't  you 
know  you  showed  me  the  hanging  nest,  and 
told  me  it  was  the  Baltimore  bird?  Grand- 
mother says  it  is  the  oriole." 

"She  do,  do  she?  Well,  ef  she  sesso,  I 

speck  it's  so,  but  you  ain't  gwine  ketch  me 

twis'in'  my  tongue  'roun'  fer  ter  talk  dat 

kinder  outlandish  talk  —  not  me!    An'  I 

130 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

knows  dis,  dat  ef  anybody  don't  wanter  call 
dat  bird  de  Baltimer  bird,  dey  don't  hatter. 
I  been  callin'  it  dat  a  mighty  long  time,  ef 
you  take  one  year  wid  an'er,  an'  ef  it's 
y'ever  fotch  de  bird  any  bad  luck,  I  ain't 
never  y'ear  tell  un  it.  I  ain't  gwine  ter 
'spute  wid  you,  honey,  'bout  de  joree;  in 
his  place  an'  whar  he  b'longs  at,  dey  ain't 
no  better  ner  no  purtier  bird;  but  when  it 
comes  ter  sayin'  dat  he's  de  purtiest  er  all 
de  birds,  why,  dat's  de  way  de  lawyers 
talk  when  dey  er  jowerin'  in  de  court-house. 
When  it  comes  ter  de  purtiest  bird  er  all  de 
birds,  she's  done  gone  away  too  long  ago 
ter  talk  about,  an'  nobody  can't  fin'  her. 
She  wa'n't  de  purtiest  bird  des  kaze  some 
un  sesso;  not  her  —  no,  suh !  She  wuz  purty 
kaze  all  de  yuther  birds  sesso.  Dey  done 
'cide  it  —  dey  done  'gree  ter  it — ^an'  you 
can't  rub  it  out.  Dey  ain't  wanter  sesso, 
but  dey  bleeze  ter  do  it;  dey  wa'n't  no 
131 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

gittin'  'roun'  it.  One  bird  ain't  like  de 
idee  er  sayin'  dat  any  udder  bird  is  purtier 
dan  what  she  is,  but  dey  bleeze  ter  do  it, 
atter  dey  seen  what  dey  seed. 

**I  ain't  never  is  seed  dis  purty  bird 
myse'f,"  the  old  man  went  on,  "an'  de  nex' 
man  you  ax  will  tell  you  de  same;  but  I 
done  hear  tell  un  'im  —  ef  he  wuz  a  him. 
Time  an'  time  ag'in  I  hear  folks  tell  de  tale 
—  some  one  way  an'  some  an'er,  but  it  all 
come  ter  de  same  thing  in  de  een'  —  dar 
wuz  de  tale." 

"But  what  about  the  bird?"  the  little 
boy  asked. 

"Shucks,  honey!  ain't  I  des  a-tellin'  yo' 
dat  'twa'n't  des  a  plain  bird;  you  kin  say 
dat  'bout  all  un  um  but  dis  un,  which  she 
wuz  de  purtiest  bird  on  de  face  er  de  yeth. 
I'm  kinder  rattled  'bout  de  entitlements  er 
dis  yer  bird,  kaze  it  seem  like  dat  dem  what 
fust  'gun  ter  tell  de  tale  kinder  got  de  name 

13^ 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

mixed  up  wid  der  own  foolishness.  Some 
call  'im  de  Coogly  Bird,  some  call  'im  de 
Cow-Cow  Bird,  an'  some  call  'im  de  Coo- 
Coo  Bird  —  some  say  'twuz  a  lady  bird,  an' 
den  ag'in  some  say  'twuz  a  gemman  bird. 
By  good  rights,  she  oughter  been  a  lady 
bird,  fum  de  fuss  she  kicked  up,  an'  I  boun' 
she  wuz.  It's  des  like  I  tell  you  'bout  de 
name,  yit,  call  'er  what  you  please  an'  when 
you  please,  she  ain't  gwineter  come  fer  yo' 
callin'.  She'd  'a'  come  long  ago  ef  callin' 
would  'a'  fotch  'er,  kaze,  fum  dat  time  ter 
dis,  some  er  de  yuther  birds  been  hoUin'  an' 
callin'  'er.  Dey  been  callin'  'er  sence  de 
day  dat  all  de  birds  had  der  semblement 
des  like  white  folks,  an'  niggers,  too,  fer  dat 
matter,  when  dey  wanter  up  an'  out  a  man 
what  ain't  been  doin'  nothin'  in  de  roun' 
worl'  but  gittin'  pay  fer  settin'  'roun'  doin' 
nothin'." 
"Don't  you  mean  a  convention,  Uncle 

X33 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Remus?"  inquired  the  lad.    "Papa's  gone 
to  Atlanta  to  attend  a  convention." 

"Dat  'zackly  what  I  mean,  honey,  'cep- 
pin'  dat  yo'  daddy  oughter  be  right  here 
now  wid  his  ma.  But  dat 's  needer  here  ner 
dar,  ez  de  man  sez  'bout  de  flea  what  he 
ain't  cotch.  'Way  back  yander,  when  de 
clouds  wuz  thicker  dan  what  dey  is  now,  an' 
when  de  sun  ain't  had  ter  go  to  bed  at  night 
ter  keep  fum  bein'  tired  de  nex'  day,  de  time 
come  when  de  creeturs,  fur  an'  feather, 
ain't  had  much  ter  do,  mo'  speshually  de 
birds.  Dey  flew'd  'roun',  dey  did,  an'  fed 
tergedder  widout  fightin',  an'  made  der 
houses  in  de  trees  an'  on  de  groun',  an'  dey 
wuz  all  des  ez  sociable  ez  you  please.  But 
atter  while  dey  ain't  had  much  ter  do,  an' 
when  dat  time  come  dey  got  ter  wranglin* 
an'  'sputin',  des  like  folks  does  now.  One 
'ud  sail  up  an'  say  *  Howdy?'  an'  de  yuth- 
er'd  'fuse  ter  'spon',  an'  dar  dey  had  it. 

134 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

While  de  gemman  birds  wuz  gwine  on  dis 
away,  de  lady  birds  wuz  des  ez  busy.  Dey 
'sputed  'bout  der  feathers  an'  'bout  der 
looks  twel  it  seem  like  dey  wuz  gwine  ter 
be  sho'  'nough  war,  kaze  de  most  un  um  had 
bills  an'  claws. 

"Atter  while,  dey  fin'  dat  dis  kinder 
doin's  ain't  gwine  ter  pay,  an'  so  dey  bowed 
ter  one  an'er,  mighty  perlite,  an'  make  out 
dey  gwine  on  'bout  der  business.  Well, 
dey  played  like  dey  wuz  mighty  busy,  but 
dey  soon  git  tired  er  dis,  an'  dey  say  ter  dey- 
se'f  dat  dey'd  die  dead  ef  dey  did  n't  run 
'roun'  an'  have  a  chat  wid  de  neighbors;  an' 
here  dey  went,  axin'  de  news,  an'  tellin' 
dat  what  ain't  news.  One  say  she  hear  dat 
Miss  Red  Bird  up  an'  'low  dat  she  de  purti- 
est  er  all  de  birds,  an'  dar  dey  had  it,  squall- 
in',  chatterin',  an'  squealin'.  De  word  went 
'roun'  an'  when  it  come  back  ter  whar  it 
started,  it  ain't  look  like  itse'f.  'Twuz  Miss 

135 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Blue  Bird,  'twuz  Miss  Jay  Bird,  'twuz  Miss 
Dat  an'  Miss  T'other.  It  seem  like  dat 
eve'y  one  un  um  think  dat  she  de  purtiest. 
"Well,  suh,  de  'spute  got  so  hot  dat  dey 
had  ter  be  sump'n  done  —  dey  wa'n't  no 
two  ways  'bout  dat.  Miss  Wren  an'  Miss 
Blue  Bird  an'  Miss  Robin  put  der  heads 
tergedder,  an'  ax  how  dey  gwineter  stop  de 
'spute.  Na'er  one  un  um  'pended  on  der 
good  looks,  but  der  havishness  wuz  er  de 
best,  an'  dey  wanted  ter  stop  de  jowerin'. 
Dey  study  an'  dey  study,  dey  talk  an'  dey 
talk,  but  dey  ain't  hit  on  nothin'.  Little 
Miss  Wren  wuz  de  spryest,  an'  she  had  a 
slice  er  temper  wid  salt  an'  pepper  on  it. 
Dey  talked  so  fast  an'  dey  talked  so  long  dat 
she  wuz  skeer'd  she  might  git  sorter  sassy, 
an'  she  up'n  say,  'Ladies,  le'  me  make  a 
move  an'  motion.  Le's  p'oc'astinate  dis 
session  uv  our  confab,  kaze  some  un  us 
mought  say  sump'n  dat  de  yuthers  won't 
136 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

like.  De  sun  gittin'  mighty  low  anyhow; 
le's  put  off  our  colloguin'  twel  termorrer. 
We  '11  go  home  an'  ax  our  ol'  men  what  dey 
think,  an'  dey '11  tell  us  what  dey  kin  —  you 
know  how  men  folks  does :  dey  knows  eve'y- 
thing  'ceppin'  dat  dey  does  know,  an'  dat 
dey  done  f ergot.  Dey '11  tell  us,  an'  when 
we  go  ter  bed  we  kin  dream  on  it/ 

"Miss  Blue  Bird  an'  Miss  Robin  'low  dat 
dis  de  smartest  thing  dey  y'ever  is  hear,  an* 
dey  'gree  ter  what  little  Miss  Wren  say. 
Dey  put  on  der  things  an'  marched  off  home 
fer  ter  feed  de  chillun  an'  put  um  ter  bed. 
Bright  an'  y'early  de  nex'  mornin'  dey 
met  at  de  same  place,  an',  atter  dey  got  over 
der  gigglin'  an'  der  howdy-doin',  dey  start 
up  de  confab  whar  dey  lef  off.  Miss  Robin 
say  she  can't  think  uv  a  blessed  thing.  She 
say  dat  when  she  ax'd  her  ol'  man  'bout  it, 
he  up  an'  'low'd  dat  she  better  jine  'im  in 
huntin'  bugs  fer  de  chillun  fer  ter  play  wid, 

137 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

stidder  gaddin'  fum  post  ter  pillar.  An'  de 
yuthers  raise  der  wings,  an'  say,  'Well, 
well!'  an'  'Who'd  'a'  thunk  it?' 

"Miss  Blue  Bird  'low  dat  when  she  ax 
her  ol'  man  'bout  it,  he  say  she  better 
stay  at  home  stidder  gwine  'roun'  spread- 
in'  scandaliousness  thoo  de  neighborhood. 
Miss  Wren  kinder  bunged  her  head  like  she 
'shame  fer  ter  tell  'bout  her  speunce.  She 
say  dat  her  ol'  man  wuz  monstus  sassy 
twel  she  tol'  'im  dat  ef  he  wanter  change 
his  boardin'-house  he  wuz  mo'  dan  welcome. 
Wid  dat,  he  whirled  an'  ax  her  why  in  de 
name  er  goodness  don't  she  'swade  um  fer 
ter  have  a  big  'sembly  er  all  de  lady  birds  at 
some  place  er  'nother  whar  dey'U  have 
plenty  er  room,  whar  dey  kin  all  march 
'roun'  an'  let  somebody  pick  out  de  pur- 
tiest  in  de  whole  crowd,  an'  den  when  dat's 
done  all  de  balance  un  um  must  be  put 
under  de  needcessity  er  'greein'  ter  what  de 

138 


|#>'l^ 


%,■' 


\l  -i 


EF  HE  SAY  DE  BUZZARD  IS  DE  PURTIEST,   DAT    S  DE  WAY  IT 
GOT  TER  BE  " 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

picker  picks.  Ef  he  say  de  owl  is  de  pur- 
tiest,  den  all  de  yuther  birds  got  ter  sesso 
too;  ef  he  say  de  buzzard  is  de  purtiest, 
dat's  de  way  it  got  ter  be. 

"'La,  me!'  sez  Miss  Robin,  Mid  you 
y'ever  hear  de  beat?'  Miss  Blue  Bird  'low, 
'Now,  ain't  dat  des  like  a  man!'  You  may 
not  b'lieve  it,  but  de  three  tuck  up  wid  de 
idee,  an'  when  dey  talked  it  over  wid  de  bal- 
ance er  de  lady  birds,  all  un  um  say  it's  des 
fine,  an'  dey  tuck  up  wid  it  quicker  dan  a 
cat  kin  smell  a  mackerel  layin'  on  de  shelf. 
De  funny  thing  'bout  de  whole  business 
wuz  dat  dey  had  ter  have  two  'semble- 
ments." 

"That  certainly  was  funny,"  said  the 
little  boy,  so  seriously  that  Uncle  Remus 
closed  his  eyes  and  sighed.  He  never  could 
reconcile  himself  to  the  fact  that  a  little 
child  could  be  almost  as  old-fashioned  as  a 
grown  person. 

139 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"Yasser!"  the  old  man  continued,  "de3/ 

had  two  'semblements.   De  'greement  wuz 

dat  all  de  lady  birds,  er  all  kin's  an'  color, 

wuz  ter  be  dar,  an'  all  wuz  ter  march  by  de 

place  whar  de  one  dey  had  chosen  fer  ter 

pick  out  de  purtiest  wuz  ter  be  settin'  at. 

De  one  dey  choosened  wuz  ol'  Brer  Rabbit, 

so  dat  de  sayin'  mought  come  true  — 

'  When  you  choosen  a  creetur, 
Des  shun  de  bird-eater.' 

In  dem  days,  de  doctor  done  tol'  Brer  Rab- 
bit dat  de  best  eatin'  fer  him  wuz  honey- 
an'-clover  an'  sweet  barley,  an'  he  wuz 
stickin'  to  dat  kinder  doin's.  When  de 
time  come  fer  de  fust  'semblement,  Brer 
Rabbit  wuz  right  on  de  spot,  wid  a  fresh 
plug  er  terbacker,  an'  a  pocketful  er  honey- 
bee clover.  De  birds  all  come,  des  like  dey 
say  dey  would,  an'  when  some  un  motioned 
ter  Brer  Rabbit  fer  ter  say  de  word,  dey 
'gun  ter  march  'roun'  an'  'roun',  one  by 
140 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

one,  an'  two  by  two.  Dey  ain't  been  march- 
in'  long  'fo'  Brer  Rabbit  shuck  his  head  an' 
sot  down  ag'in. 

"  'La,  Brer  Rabbit!'  dey  say,  'what  de 
matter?  We  er  all  here;  whyn't  you  pick 
out  de  purtiest?  We  ain't  gwine  ter  peck 
yo'  eyes  out.'  'I  dunno  so  well  'bout  dat,' 
sez  ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  sezee.  'You  say  you  er 
all  here,  but  ef  I  got  my  two  eyes  you  ain't 
all  here.  No,  ladies!  You'll  hatter  skusen 
me!'  an',  wid  dat,  he  riz  up,  he  did,  an' 
make  sech  a  nice  bow  dat  ol'  Miss  Swamp 
Owl's  mouf  'gun  ter  water.  Dey  say, 
'Lawsymussy!  Who's  missin'?' 

"Brer  Rabbit  he  'low,  'Whar  Miss  Coo- 
Coo  Bird?  I  put  on  my  specks,  but  I  can't 
see  'er.  Is  she  'roun'  here  any  whar's?' 
Dey  looked  all  'roun',  in  de  corners,  an' 
under  de  bushes  whar  anybody  mought 
hide,  but  dey  ain't  fin'  de  Coo-Coo  Bird. 
An'  a  mighty  good  reason,  kaze  she  wa'n't 
141 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

dar,  le'  um  hunt  whar  dey  would  an'  s'arch 
whar  dey  might.  Den  Brer  Rabbit  up  an' 
'low,  'Ladies,  all,  we  bleeze  ter  p'oc'asti- 
nate  dish  yer  'semblement,  an'  put  it  oflF  twel 
you  kin  sen'  word  ter  de  Coo-Coo  Bird,  kaze 
you  can't  do  nothin'  'tall  widout  'er.  She 
got  ter  be  in,  er  she  won't  bide  by  de  choose- 
ment.  You  des  bleeze  ter  git  her  in  ef  you 
gwine  ter  stop  de  'sputin'.  Dey  ain't  no  two 
ways  'bout  dat.' 

"Den  dey  all  'gun  ter  look  at  one  an'er, 
an'  giggle,  an'  make  a  great  'miration  'bout 
how  sharp  Brer  Rabbit  wuz.  Some  say  dat 
dey  don't  think  dat  de  Coo-Coo  Bird  is 
wuff  foolin'  wid,  kaze  she  ain't  no  great 
shakes,  nohow,  but  dey  bleeze  ter  have  her 
in  de  crowd  when  de  'semblement  'sembles, 
kaze  dey  ain't  no  yuther  way  fer  ter  stop  de 
jowerin'.  All  de  birds  wuz  bleeze  ter  be 
dar. 

"Well,  time  went  on  just  like  it  do  now; 
142 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

ef  dey  wuz  any  diffunce,  meal-time  came 
a  right  smart  sooner  den  dan  it  do  now. 
Endurin'  de  time  'twix'  de'  semblement  what 
hatter  be  called  off,  an'  de  nex'  un  dat  wuz 
ter  come,  de  lady  birds  had  a  scrumptious 
time.  Dey  went  callin'  on  der  neighbors, 
an'  dem  dat  dey  ain't  fin'  at  home  dey'd 
hunt  up.  Dey  wuz  mo'  backbitin'  dan  you 
could  shake  a  stick  at,  an'  de  chatter  went 
on  so  long  an'  so  loud,  dat  you  could  n't 
hear  yo'  own  y'ears.  Miss  Peafowl  called 
on  Brer  Rabbit,  an'  axed  how  she  wuz 
gwine  ter  come  out  in  de  parade,  an'  Brer 
Rabbit  say  dat  she'd  have  a  mighty  good 
chance  ef  'twan't  fer  her  footses  an'  her 
scaly  legs.  He  'low  dat  ef  she  come  dar  wid 
dem,  she  won't  have  no  show  a  tall,  an'  dar 
dey  had  it,  up  an'  down.  An'  'twuz  de  same 
way  wid  all  un  um;  dey  tried  fer  ter  make 
ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  which  he  wuz  gwine  fer  ter 
be  de  judge,  look  at  um  thoo  dey  own  eyes. 

143 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

"While  all  dis  wuz  goin'  on,  dey  wuz 
huntin'  up  de  Coo-Coo  Bird,  an'  atter  so 
long  a  time  dey  foun'  her  right  whar  dey 
moughter  foun'  her  at  fust,  stayin'  at  home 
an'  lookin'  atter  de  house-keepin'.  But 
'twuz  a  mighty  quare  thing  'bout  de  Coo- 
Coo  Bird:  she  ain't  got  a  rag  er  cloze  ter  'er 
back.  Whar  de  feathers  oughter  been  dey 
wa'n't  nothin'  but  a  little  bit  er  downy  fuzz. 
When  dey  fin'  'er,  dey  say,  *Whyn't  you 
come  ter  de  'semblement,  whar  dey  gwineter 
choosen  de  purtiest  er  all  de  bird  tribe?' 
She  'low,  'La,  I  got  sump'n  else  ter  do  sides 
tryin'  ter  fin'  out  who  de  purtiest;  an',  mo' 
dan  dat,  how  I  gwineter  come  when  I  ain't 
got  no  cloze  ter  w'ar?  No,  ma'am!  You'll 
hatter  skusen  me!  Go  on  an'  parade  on  yo' 
Bullyfard,  an'  I  '11  parade  at  home.' 

"Dey  try  ter  tell  'er  dat  dey  bleeze  ter 
have  her  dar,  so  dey '11  all  be  sachified,  but 
she  shuck  her  head,  and  went  on  cleanin' 
144 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

her  house.  Dey  'swaded,  an'  dey  'swaded, 
an'  bimeby  she  say  dat  ef  dey '11  loan  her 
some  cloze  among  um,  she  '11  go ;  ef  dey  don't, 
well  an'  good  —  she  won't  budge  a  step. 
An'  so  dar  'twuz.  Well,  all  de  yuther  birds 
kinder  collogued  tergedder,  an'  dey  say  dey 
better  loan  her  some  cloze.  Dey  went  'roun' 
an'  got  a  feather  fum  eve'y  bird,  an'  fum 
some  un  um  two.  01'  Miss  Ost'ich  know'd 
she  ain't  stan'  no  chance  in  de  parade  wid 
her  bony  neck  an'  long  legs,  an'  she  sont  de 
Coo-Coo  Bird  a  bunch  er  de  purtiest  feath- 
ers you  ever  is  lay  eyes  on. 

"When  de  time  come  fer  de  'semblement, 
Miss  Coo-Coo  wuz  dar,  an'  dressed  up  fit 
ter  kill ;  an'  when  dey  all  'gun  ter  march,  she 
wuz  at  de  head  er  de  crowd,  an'  stepped 
along  ez  gaily  ez  you  please.  Well,  dey 
wan't  no  two  ways  'bout  it.  Miss  Coo-Coo 
wuz  way  yander  de  purtiest  er  de  whole 
gang.   De  way  she  look,  de  way  she  walk, 

145 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

de  way  she  hoF  'erse'f ,  de  way  she  bow  an' 
s'lute  um  all — everything  put  'er  in  de  front 
place.  Brer  Rabbit  stood  up,  he  did,  an' 
wave  his  han',  an'  dey  all  stop  still.  Den 
he  say  dat  dey  ain't  no  doubt  an'  no  s'pi- 
cions  but  what  Miss  Coo-Coo  Bird  wuz  de 
purtiest  er  all  de  birds,  an'  dey  all  'gree  wid 
'im.  Den  dey  wuz  ter  have  a  dance,  but 
'fo'  de  music  struck  up.  Miss  Coo-Coo  say 
dey  must  please  excusin'  her,  an'  wid  dat, 
she  slip  inter  de  bushes  an'  wuz  gone  — 
done  gone !  Gone  fer  good,  an'  dey  ain't  no- 
body seed  her  fum  dat  day  ter  dis,  less'n 
maybe  ol'  Brer  Rabbit,  an'  he  ain't  tellin* 
nobody  'bout  it. 

"De  yuther  birds  hunt  fer  'er,  but  dey 
can't  fin'  'er,  an'  deyer  huntin'  plum  twel 
yit,  huntin'  eve'ywhar,  an'  a-callin'  ez  dey 
hunt.  Dey  do  say  dat  when  de  big  owl 
hollas,  he  ain't  axin'  *Who  cooks  fer  you- 
all?'  He's  sayin',  'Coo-Coo,  Coo-Coo! 
146 


The  Most  Beautiful  Bird 

whar  you  at?'  an'  de  turtle-dove  hollars, 
'Coo-Coo,  Coo-Coo,  Coo-Coo,  Coo-Coo! 
Coo-Coo-oo!'  an'  e'en  down  ter  de  rooster 
callin'  out  'fo'  day,  an'  all  thoo  de  night, 
'Please  fetch  my  feather  back!'  An'  so  dar 
you  is!  Coo-Coo  Bird  done  flew'd  away,  an' 
all  de  yuther  birds  huntin'  fer  'er.  An' 
dey  tells  me,"  remarked  Uncle  Remus,  after 
a  pause,  "dat  when  folks  think  de  birds  is 
pickin'  deyse'f  an'  straightenin'  out  der 
feathers,  dey  ain't  doin'  nothin'  in  de  roun' 
worl'  but  seein'  ef  de  one  what  dey  loaned 
de  Coo-Coo  Bird  is  done  growed  back." 

The  little  boy  made  no  comment,  but 
seemed  to  be  waiting  for  the  story  to  end. 
The  old  negro  threw  his  head  back,  and  in  a 
sing-song  tone  made  this  announcement: — 

"  Jig-a-ma-rig,  an'  a  jig-a-ma-ree! 
Dat's  all  de  tale  dat  'uz  tol'  ter  me!" 


UNCLE  REMUS  FALLS  A  VICTIM 
TO  THE  MUMPS 

DURING  the  recent  bad  spell  of 
weather  Uncle  Remus  has  been 
missing,  but  everybody  about  the 
*'  Constitution "  office  had  concluded  that 
his  absence  was  due  to  a  frequently  ex- 
pressed intention  to  take  better  care  of  him- 
self hereafter.  Yesterday,  however,  the 
well-known  thump  of  his  walking-cane  was 
heard  upon  the  stair,  and  the  young  men 
in  the  editorial  room  hastily  adopted  a 
plan  suggested  by  the  agricultural  editor 
to  pretend  that  they  had  entirely  forgotten 
the  old  man. 

When  he  opened   the   door,   therefore, 
everybody  was  busily  engaged  in  reading 
or  writing.  The  office  boy,  however,  who 
148 


Uncle  Remus  has  the  Mumps 

seems  to  be  oblivious  to  all  schemes  of 
amusement  save  those  which  culminate  in 
a  pass  to  a  minstrel  entertainment,  frus- 
trated the  plan  by  exclaiming  as  the  colored 
sage  entered: — 
"Goodness!  look  at  Uncle  Remus!" 
The  old  man's  head  was  enveloped  in 
several  folds  of  red  flannel,  a  huge  woolen 
comforter  was  wrapped  around  his  neck, 
and  the  expansive  collar  of  his  overcoat 
was  turned  up  and  closely  buttoned.  His 
appearance  was  a  sufficient  excuse  for  the 
exclamation  of  the  boy. 

As  a  usual  thing,  when  Uncle  Remus 
comes  in  there  is  an  air  of  conciliation 
about  him  quite  impossible  to  define,  but 
yesterday  he  appeared  to  be  indignant  as 
well  as  disgusted.  The  young  men  attacked 
him  with  a  running  fire  of  raillery,  but  he 
scorned  to  make  reply.  Finally,  the  agri- 
cultural editor,  who  had  been  composing 
149 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

a  paragraph  about  flowers,  turned  around 
and  remarked:  — 

"Well,  here  you  are!  What  have  you 
been  up  to  now?" 

"Hush !"  exclaimed  another  of  the  young 
men  in  a  loud  whisper.  "Don't  trouble 
him;  wait  until  he  gets  sober!" 

"Sho'ly  hit  ain't  come  down  ter  dat 
pass,"  said  Uncle  Remus,  moving  his  feet 
uneasily,  "dat  a  cripple  nigger  like  me 
can't  creep  up  yer  an'  squot  down  'fo'  de 
fier  ter  git  de  fros'  off'n  his  ban's  'less  he 
up'n  make  a  speech." 

"Oh,  you  be  fiddled!"  flung  out  the  agri- 
cultural editor  somewhat  testily;  "can't 
anybody  inquire  about  your  health?" 

"Wuz  you  axin'  'bout  my  healt'  boss?" 
replied  Uncle  Remus,  relaxing  a  little; 
"kaze  ef  you  wuz  den  I  ain't  got  none.  You 
all  young  mens  des  better  dip  de  een'  er  yo' 
finger  in  de  pas'e-pot,  an'  go  on  wid  yo* 

ISO 


Uncle  Remus  has  the  Mumps 

eddity  wuks,  tellin'  folks  de  news.  You 
ain't  got  no  time  fer  ter  be  foolin'  'longer  no 
ole  nigger  like  me." 

Uncle  Remus  had  no  idea  that  he  was 
hurling  a  gall-tipped  javelin  into  the  edi- 
torial camp,  but  the  evident  discomfiture 
of  the  young  men  caused  him  to  thaw  out  a 
little,  and  he  even  went  so  far  as  to  give 
vent  to  a  half-smothered  chuckle. 

"What  has  been  the  matter  with  you?" 
the  agricultural  editor  asked. 

"  I  'm  gwine  tell  you  de  nakid  troof,  boss,'* 
said  the  old  man,  with  a  sigh  that  ended  in 
a  deep  groan.  "I  bin  sick  —  I  bin  mighty 
sick.  I  disremember  de  time  when  I  bin 
enny  mo'  sicker  dan  what  I  bin  endurin'  er 
dis  pas'  mont'.  Hit  done  got  so  now," 
Uncle  Remus  went  on,  "dat  no  epidemy 
don't  strike  de  town  dat  it  don't  light 
right  spang  bang  outer  me  an'  tromple  me 
down.  Year  er  two  gone  by  hit  wuz  de 
iSi 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

measles,  an'  now,  bless  gracious!  hit's  de 
mumps." 

This  announcement  was  the  signal  for  a 
chorus  of  derisive  laughter  from  the  young 
men,  but  Uncle  Remus,  having  become 
good-humored,  was  undisturbed.  He  rubbed 
his  hands  together  and  gazed  into  the  grate 
with  a  quizzical  expression  that  seemed 
to  linger  somewhere  very  near  the  edge  of 
melancholy. 

"Hit's  des  like  I  tell  you,"  he  continued 
after  awhile.  "Little  while  ago  de  measles, 
an'  now  de  mumps.  Nex'  time  you  year  fum 
me  I  '11  be  breakin'  out  wid  de  rash,  an'  den 
atter  dat  I  '11  hatter  git  in  winter-quarters 
an'  cut  some  new  toofies.  When  er  nigger 
what  done  stan'  flat-footed  an'  seed  nigh 
outer  eighty  year  go  by  git  strucken  wid  de 
mumps,  den  hit  done  got  time  fer  ter  lay  in 
doctor  truck  by  de  kyar-load.  Ain't  you 
never  bin  cotch  up  wid,  wid  de  mumps,  boss  ?  '* 

IS2 


Uncle  Remus  has  the  Mumps 

"Not  that  I  know  of,"  responded  the 
agricultural  editor  in  a  matter-of-fact  way. 
"How  do  they  break  out?" 

"Well,  den,  ef  you  ain't  never  had  um, 
boss,  you  don't  wanter  be  breshin'  up  'gin 
me,  kaze  deze  yere  kin'  what  strucken  me, 
deyer  owdacious  mumps  —  deyer  scanner- 
lous  mumps.  I  year  talk  dat  some  folks 
ain't  have  no  mo'  dan  one  mump,  but  deze 
yere  what  I  got,  deyer  twinses,  an'  dey  cotch 
holt  er  me  like  dey  done  bin  practus  on 
some  yuther  nigger  dat  got  mo'  strenk  dan 
what  I  is.  You  sees  me  sittin'  yer  now,  but 
ef  you'd  er  seed  me  las'  Chuseday  wuz  er 
week,  you'd  er  hilt  up  yo'  ban's  an'  ax  ef 
dat  wuz  de  same  Remus.  Deyer  sorter 
swunk  up  an'  swage  down,  now,"  contin- 
ued the  old  man,  feeling  his  jaws  suspi- 
ciously, "but  dey  tracks  is  dar  yit." 

"  How  did  they  come  ? " 

"Hit  'uz  des  'bout  de  time  er  dat  fus' 

IS3 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

snow  what  we  had,  an'  I  wuz  eatin'  my 
dinner  what  Miss  Sally  done  put  up  whar 
dem  yuther  niggers  can't  git  it,  when  I  year 
'er  holler  fum  de  dinin'-room  fer  me  ter 
make  has'e  dar  an'  clean  up  de  snow  what 
done  pile  up  on  de  front  steps.  Dat  make 
me  wuk  my  jaws  mo'  livelier,  an'  right  den 
an'  dar  sump'n  look  like  it  hurted  me  in  de 
naberhoods  er  d6  burr  er  de  year,  up  dar 
whar  de  jaw-bone  hinge  at,  an'  I  say  ter 
myse'f,  I  boun'  I  done  gone  an'  cotch  up  wid 
de  uraljy  fum  Marse  John,  which  many 's  de 
time  I  year  'im  marchin'  up  an'  down  de  flo' 
like  he  drillin'  er  whole  comp'ny  er  mens. 
Fus'  my  jaw  hurted,  an'  den  ag'in  hit  ain't. 
An'  atter  I  done  lick  up  de  vittles,  I  goes 
an'  I  shovels  off  de  snow,  an'  den  I  hustles 
in  ter  de  fier,  an'  whiles  I  wuz  settin'  dar 
toas'n'  my  shins,  I  puts  my  han'  dar  be- 
hime  my  year,  an'  she  feel  so  tender,  hit 
make  me  flinch.  Dis  wuz  de  beginnin's. 

154 


Uncle  Remus  has  the  Mumps 

"Nex'  mawnin',  when  I  goes  ter  git  up, 
look  like  dey's  er  crick  in  my  neck,  an'  I 
feel  er  my  jaw,  an',  bless  yo'  soul !  dey  wuz 
er  lump  growin'  in  dar,  'twix'  de  bone  an' 
de  grizzle,  mos'  big  ez  er  scaly-bark.  Dat 
sorter  skeer  me,  kaze  hit  look  like  wunner 
deze  yer  widenin'  wens  done  gone  ter  house- 
keepin'  'long  wid  me.  But  I  ain't  sayin' 
nothin',  an'  de  nex'  mawnin'  dey  wuz  er 
n'er  one  sproutin'  in  de  t'er  jaw.  Dish  yer 
sorter  tuck  de  stiff'nin'  outen  me,  an'  right 
atter  bre'k'us  I  goes  an'  I  lays  de  case  'fo' 
Miss  Sally." 

Here  Uncle  Remus  paused,  reflected  a 
moment,  laughed  loudly,  and  continued 
in  a  tone  of  undisguised  admiration:  — 

"Dat  'oman!  ef  she  ain't  de  out-doinist 
white  'oman  'twix'  dis  an'  deNunited  State, 
den  I  'm  ain't  name  Remus.  I  went  in  dar 
an'  I  tell  Miss  Sally  'bout  dem  wens,  an'  she 
drap  'er  sewin'  an'  rustle  pas'  me.  An'  den 

I5S 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

I  year  'er  in  de  pantry.  Den  she  rustle 
back  an'  shet  de  do'  an'  stan'  up  ^g'in  it. 
An'  den  she  tuck  er  knife  an'  gun  ter  peel  er 
great  big  yaller  lemon.  Dar  I  stan',  an'  dar 
she  stan'.  She  peel,  an'  I  look  at  'er —  she 
peel,  an'  I  look  at  'er.  Atter  she  done  peel 
it,  she  tuck'n  tu'n  it  'roun'  an'  'roun'  an'  look 
at  it.  An'  den  what  in  de  name  er  goodness 
you  speck  dat  white  'oman  do?  Des  ez 
sholy  ez  I  'm  settin'  yer,  Miss  Sally  tuck'n 
cut  er  great  big  slishe  off'n  dat  lemon  an' 
put  it  in  'er  mouf,  an',  boss,  right  dar's  whai 
I  caved.  De  peelin'  I  could  stan',  but  when 
I  see  Miss  Sally  put  dat  slishe  er  lemon 
in  'er  mouf,  an'  when  I  year  'er  chomp  down 
on  it,  hit  look  like  ter  me  dat  my  jaw'd 
drap  off  spite  er  all  I  could  do.  Miss  Sally, 
she  ain't  bat  'er  eye,  but  I  stood  dar,  I  did, 
an'  slobbered  at  de  mouf  same  ez  wunner 
dese  mules  what  bin  eatin'  rack-weed.  An' 
den  on  top  er  dat  when  hit  seem  like  she 
IS6 


Uncle  Remus  has  the  Mumps 

done  wid  'er  prankin',  out  she  go,  she  do, 
an'  yer  she  come  wid  wunner  dese  yer  great 
long  cowcumber  pickle,  an'  she  chaw  dat 
up,  an'  den  she  wipe  'er  han's  on  'er  ap'on, 
an'  she  up'n  say,  sez  she:  — 

"*  Why,  you  ole  Hayshun!  You  got  de 
mumps!'  sez  she;  an'  den  she  tell  me  dat 
ef  I  don't  git  in  my  own  house  an'  stay  dar 
she'll  have  me  slapt  in  de  callyboose,  an' 
den  she  shove  'er  han's  in  'er  ap'on  pocket, 
an'  I  knows  when  she  do  dat  she  talkin'  wid 
de  bark  on. 

"I  raise  Miss  Sally  fum  er  gal,"  con- 
cluded Uncle  Remus,  "but  ef  she  don't 
bang  my  time,  den  I  done  los'  my  way." 


UNCLE  REMUS'S  VIEWS  ON 
CHURCH  COLLECTIONS 

THE  Reverend  Jeems  Henry 
preaches  to  a  large  colored  con- 
gregation in  Atlanta,  and  he  is 
not  only  respected  by  his  own  race,  but 
by  the  whites  as  well.  He  is  energetic,  per- 
sistent and  devout,  and  in  the  midst  of  it 
all,  he  manages  to  keep  an  eye  on  Uncle 
Remus,  in  whose  spiritual  welfare  he  mani- 
fests great  interest.  Uncle  Remus  is  many 
years  older  than  the  Reverend  Jeems  Henry 
and  his  attitude  toward  the  preacher  is  one 
of  paternal  respect.  The  old  man,  how- 
ever, is  accustomed  to  listen  to  the  lectures 
of  his  young  friend  with  an  air  of  listless 
and  patient  indifference  which,  when  Uncle 
Remus' s  restless  and  fiery  disposition  is 
taken  into  consideration,  is  the  next  thing 

158 


Views  on  Church  Collections 

to  dramatic  art  of  a  very  high  order  —  if 
dramatic  art  lies  anywhere  in  the  neighbor- 
hood of  simulation.  Recently  the  two  met 
on  a  street  corner.  Brother  Jeems  Henry 
was  going  forth  upon  a  mission  connected 
with  the  church,  while  Uncle  Remus  was 
gazing  anxiously  at  the  cloudy  skies. 

"Bless  you,  Brother  Remus!"  exclaimed 
the  preacher  by  way  of  salutation.  "How 
you  come  on  this  mighty  long  time?" 

"Middling  Brer  Jeems  Henry  —  des 
middlin'.  Fm  some'er's  'twix'  de  po'- 
house  an'  de  doctor-shop,  yit  I  'm  glad  fum 
my  heart  dat  'tain't  no  wuss." 

"That's  what  I  tells  'em  all,  Brother 
Remus.  They  ought  to  be  thankful  for 
what  they've  got.  I  hope  soon  to  see  you 
workin'  in  the  vineyard.  Brother  Remus. 
The  harvest  is  waitin'  an'  the  labor  few." 

"Dat  so,  Brer  Jeems  Henry;  I  stan's  wid 
you  dar,  sho.    But  de  mo'est  w'at  er  ole 

159 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

cripple  nigger  lak  me  kin  do  dish  yer  kinder 
wedder  is  ter  set  down  an'  wait  fer  water- 
million  time." 

"All  the  same,  Brother  Remus,  the  Mars- 
ter's  work  is  got  to  be  done." 

"I  ain't  'sputin'  dat,  Brer  Jeems  Henry, 
an'  I  ain't  gwineter  'spute  it  —  kaze  when 
I  sees  you  peradin'  'roun',  an'  promernadin' 
up  an'  down  wid  yo'  stan'in'  collar  er  stick- 
in'  up,  an'  yo'  stove-pipe  hat  er  shinin',  an' 
yo'  black  frock  coat  er  floppin',  den  it  seem 
like  ter  me  I  done  miss  my  callin'." 

"How  is  that.  Brother  Remus?" 

"Hit's  des  dis  away.  Brer  Jeems  Henry. 
When  my  bag  er  meal  run  dry,  an'  my  little 
rasher  er  bacon  disrepear  fum  de  cubberd, 
whar  I  gwine  git  any  mo'  'ceppin'  I  sail 
out  an'  scuffle  'roun'  atter  it  ?  An'  yit,  ef 
I  wuz  stoopin'  up'erds  in  yo'  shoes.  Brer 
Jeems  Henry,  dey  ain't  kin  be  much  uv  er 
scuffle." 

i6o 


Views  on  Church  Collections 

"How  so,  Brother  Remus?"  asked  the 
preacher  with  an  uneasy  smile. 

"Monst'us  easy,  Brer  Jeems  Henry, 
monst'us  easy.  I  'd  'ten'  de  speunce  meetin', 
lak  ternight,  an'  let  drap  er  hint,  an'  den  I  'd 
'ten'  de  pr'ar  meetin',  lak  day  atter  ter- 
morrer  night,  an'  let  drap  er  ne'er  hint.  By 
Sunday  meetin'  time  de  scheme  'ud  be 
plum  ripe,  an'  den  I  'd  rise  up  an'  rap  de  con- 
gergation  ter  order,  an'  line  out  'Ye  livin' 
mens,  come  view  de  groun' ' ;  an'  und'  kiv- 
ver  er  dat,  I'd  sen'  'roim'  de  conterbution 
plate,  an'  I  boun'  you,  de  nex'  time  folks 
come  visitin'  'roun'  me,  dey'd  be  er  bag  er 
meal,  an'  er  rasher  er  bacon,  an'  er  jug  er 
'lasses  in  de  cubberd.  Dat  dey  would, 
honey." 

"You  doin'  us  both  injustice  when  you 
talk  in  that  style.  Brother  Remus,"  said 
the  preacher. 

"Ter  de  contraries  er  dat,  Brer  Jeems 

i6i 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

Henry,"  responded  Uncle  Remus,  "I  ain't 
mix  bofe  un  us  up  in  it.  I  des  bin  tellin' 
you  'bout  de  pogrance  what  er  no  'count  ole 
nigger  name  Remus  would  er  laid  out,  per- 
vidin'  dat  his  streak  er  luck  had  er  bin  de 
lenk  an'  breadt'  er  yo'n." 

At  this  point,  Brother  Jeems  Henry  con- 
cluded to  change  the  subject. 

"Well,  I  wish  you'd  come  down  to  class- 
meetin'  next  Sunday,  Brother  Remus.  A 
lady  from  Liberia  is  expected  to  make  a 
little  talk.  She's  at  my  house  now,  an'  you 
might  come  down  an'  get  acquainted  with 
her." 

"Bless  yo'  soul.  Brer  Jeems  Henry!  my 
*omanin'  days  is  done  gone.  I  seen  de  time, 
an'  'tain't  bin  so  mighty  long  'go,  n'er, 
when  I  'd  des  jump  at  de  chanst  fer  ter  call 
on  dish  yer  lady,  an'  hit'd  er  done  yo'  heart 
good  fer  ter  see  me  sidlin'  'roun'  'er  lak  er 
blue  pidgin  on  top  er  de  barn;  but  dat  time 
162 


Views  on  Church  Collections 

done  pas'  an'  gone.  Ain't  dish  yer  lady," 
continued  the  old  man  —  "  ain't  dish  yer 
lady  got  er  'scription  paper  'long  wid  'er?" 

"I  don't  know  if  she  ain't,  Brother  Re- 
mus," replied  Brother  Jeems  Henry,  after 
a  pause. 

"Ah-yi!  dat  what  I  'lowed.  She  got  er 
*scription  paper,  an'  she  hail  fum  some 
s'ciety  er  ne'er,  'way  off  yan',  what  nobody 
ain't  nuwer  year  talk  un,  an'  she'll  git  up 
dar  befo'  you  all  wid  er  bo'quet  er  coffee 
weeds  an'  pepper  pods,  an'  she'll  natally  in- 
trance  you  wid  de  niceness  er  dat  country; 
an'  den,  loan'  beholes,  bimeby  she'll  out 
wid  dat  'scription  paper,  an'  she'll  up'n  say 
dat  bein'  ez  how  dem  folks  'cross  dar  git- 
tin'  on  mighty  po'ly  wid  der  coffee  weeds 
an'  der  pepper  pods,  she  hope  an'  trus'  dat 
ev'ybody'U  fling  in  sump'n  ef  'tain't 
nuffin'  but  er  thrip;  an'  den  Brer  Rastus'U 
slap  his  han'  ter  his  jaw  an'  raise  de  chune, 

163 


\ 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

an'  de  money 'II  rattle  an'  jingle,  an'  de  nex* 
town  w'at  de  lady '11  strak',  she'll  hit  it 
wid  er  bran'  new  bonnet.  No  use  ter  tell 
me,  Brer  Jeems  Henry.  I  done  bin  dar.  I 
done  bin  seasoned  wid  um." 

Brother  Jeems  Henry  here  consulted  an 
immense  silver  watch,  while  Uncle  Remus 
went  on:  — 

"No,  Brer  Jeems  Henry;  ef  you  see  dat 
lady,  en  she  ax  atter  me  by  name,  you 
up'n  tell  'er  dat  I  sont  'er  howdy,  but  don't 
go  no  fudder;  des  take  yo'  stan'  'pun  dat. 
Den  ef  she  take'n  press  de  question,  take 
off  yo'  hat  an'  tell  'er  dat  whiles  you  wuz 
roamin'  'roun'  you  met  up  wid  er  ole  nigger 
what  got  mo'  gray  ha'rs  dan  he  is  money, 
an'  dis  ole  nigger  he  up'n  'lowed,  he  did,  dat 
ef  'tain't  no  fudder  fum  de  meetin'-house 
ter  de  chicken-coop  in  dat  Liberious  coun- 
try dan  what  'tis  in  dish  yer  Nunited  State 
er  Georgy,  den  dey's  lots  er  trouble  all 
164 


Views  on  Church  Collections 

'roun'  de  worril.   Gun  'er  dat,  an'  let  er 

go." 

As  the  preacher,  smiling  in  spite  of  him- 
self, turned  to  go  forth  upon  his  mission, 
he  was  followed  by  the  sonorous  voice  of 
Uncle  Remus:  — 

"Put  my  name  in  yo'  pra'rs,  Brer  Jeems 
Henry!" 


UNCLE  REMUS'S  POLITICAL 
THEORIES 

THIS  looks  like  spring,"  said  one 
of  the  young  men  of  the  editorial 
staff  as  Uncle  Remus  ambled  into 
the  "  Constitution  "  office  with  a  basket  of 
poke  salad  on  his  arm.  The  old  man  smiled 
a  serious  smile  as  he  deposited  his  basket 
and  his  bundles  on  the  floor. 

"Hit's  bar'ly  a  glimpse,  boss,  but  hit 'II 
make  de  ole  'oman  'member  dat  hit's  'bout 
time  fer  ter  russle  'roun'  an'  look  atter  her 
collard  patch." 
/.      Thereupon  the  old  man  sat  down  upon 
the  coal-box,  took  off  his  hat,  fished  a  ban- 
danna from  its  depths  and  proceeded  to 
mop  his  face.   He  was  evidently  in  a  re- 
flective mood.  Finally  he  said:  — 
"I  year  Marse  John  readin'  ter   Miss 
^  166         • 


/ 


Political  Theories 

Sally  dat  dey  er  kickin'  up  a  monst'us 
racket  up  dar  in  Conguss  stidder  bein'  ter 
home  wukkin'  'longside  dere  neighbors. 
Hit  de  same  ole  rumpus,  ain't  it  boss,  dat 
bin  gwine  on  ever  sence  de  fa'min'  days  wuz 
over?" 
A  "Yes;  exactly  the  same." 
^  The  old  man  chuckled  complacently, 
shifted  his  feet  around,  and  went  on:  — 

"De  nigger  in  de  wood-pile  —  dey  put 
*im  in  dar,  an'  now  dey  dunno  how  ter  git 
'im  out.  Dey  fling  de  wood  fus'  on  one  side 
de  fence  an'  den  on  de  udder,  an'  den  dey 
hove  it  'roun'  de  yard,  but  de  nigger  he 
in  dar,  an'  dar  he  gwineter  stay.  Hit's  my 
idee  dat  he  ain't  playin'  no  fav'rites  dis 


season." 


"Well,  at  any  rate,  the  negroes  are  still 
in  politics,"  remarked  one  of  the  young  men. 

"Dey  mout  be,  an' den  ag'in  dey  mout 
n't,"  replied  Uncle  Remus,  "but  dey  ain't 
167 


Uncle  Remas  Returns 

er  votin'  wid  de  looseness  dat  dey  useter. 
Deyer  gittin'  sorter  stuck  up  'bout  dere 
prevalidges,  dese  niggers  is.  Ez  fer  me,  I 
done  fin'  out  what  my  politics  is,  an'  I  'm  er 
stickin'  unto  um  same  ez  er  rusty-back 
lizard  ter  de  sunny  side  uv  er  fence-rail." 
"Well,  how  do  you  stand,  Uncle  Remus  ? " 
"You  see,  boss,  hit  like  dis:  Er  man  what 
I  dunno  fum  Adam's  saddle-hoss  come 
'long  an'  say,  'Look  yer,  ole  man,  dish  yer 
fight's  er  fight  whar  yo'  intrust  is  mixt  up. 
Hit's  yo'  bounden  duty  ter  vote  wid  de 
ripublikins,  kaze  de  white  folks '11  have  you 
strung  back  up  inter  slave'y  'fo'  you  kin 
bat  yo'  eyes.'  Dat  what  de  man  say. 

"Den  I  ax  Marse  John  how  he  make  it 
all  out,  an'  Marse  John,  he  say,  *  Remus, 
you  villianous  ole  sinner,  dar's  er  pot  er 
greens  an'  er  pone  er  co'n-bread  out  dar  in 
de  kitchin  waitin'  fer  you.  I  ain't  got  no 
time  fer  ter  talk  politics  now.'   But,  bless 

i68 


Political  Theories 

yo'  heart  an'  soul,  honey,  darwuz  mo'  poli- 
tics in  dat  pot  er  greens  an'  dat  'ar  pone  er 
co'n-bread  dan  what  I  ever  is  seed  'roun' 
de  cote-house  when  de  niggers  wuz  ramp- 
in'  'roun'  votin'  fer  folks  what  dey  ain't 
know  'ceppin'  'longside  er  hearsay. 

"Hit  don't  make  no  diffunce  wid  me 
whicherways  er  man  draps  his  argyments 
when  he's  erbrowsin'  'roun'  on  de  aidges, 
but  when  he  git  down  ter  business,  he  des 
gotter  rub  sumpin'  under  my  nose  what 
smell  like  Marse  John's  pot  er  greens  an' 
Miss  Sally's  biled  ham. 

"De  argyment  what  got  er  smoke-house 
an'  er  hot  stove  at  de  udder  een'  un  it  -— 
dat  de  argyment  what '11  fetch  me." 


UNCLE  REMUS  DISCUSSES  THE 
TRUE  INWARDNESS  OF  THE  MULE 

I  YEAR  Miss  Sally  readin'  dis  mawnin' 
^bout  er  man  what  went  an'  git  his  face 
smashed  wid  er  mule,"  said  Uncle  Re- 
mus to  the  agricultural  editor.  "I  disre- 
members  de  name,  but  de  paper  say  de  mule 
come  mighty  nigh  gittin'  in  his  bes'  licks." 
"Cadle  is  the  man's  name,"  he  was  told. 
"Dat  de  identikil  name.  I  tuck'n  tole 
Miss  Sally  den  dat  I  speck  he  wuz  er  w'ite 
man,  an'  a  mule's  sump'n  er  nigger  ain't 
got  no  business  foolin'  longer,  let  'lone  er 
white  man.  White  man  kin  I'arn  joggerfy 
an'  'rethmetic,  an'  all  dat,  but  'tain't  in  de 
co'se  er  nater  fer  'im  fer  ter  I'arn  de  mule. 
An'  hit's  mighty  few  niggers  dat  gits  er 
mule  by  heart. 

"On   Marse   John's   place   in    Putmon 
170 


True  Inwardness  of  the  Mule 

county,  I  plow'd  er  gray  mule  mighty  nigh 
six  year,  an'  at  de  ve'y  las'  minnit,  she 
retched  out  her  lef  behime  foot  an'  picked 
er  brass  bre's'-pin  ofifen  my  cloze.  An'  yit 
I  had  my  eye  peeled  fer  dat  mule  endurin' 
er  de  whole  blessid  time. 

"  'Twa'n't  long  atter  dat  I  wuz  sorter 
strucken  wid  de  pl'u'sy,  an'  er  smart-Elleck 
nigger  got  holt  er  my  mule.  He  put  de  gear 
on  'er  an'  lipt  on  ter'er  back  fer  ter  ride  'er 
ter  de  new  groun'.  Leastways,  dat  what  he 
'lowed,  but  he  didn'  git  outen  de  lot  gate." 

"Why  not?  What  was  the  matter?" 
asked  the  agricultural  editor. 

"You  ax  Marse  John,  an'  he'll  tell  yer 
dat  right  den  an'  dar  he  lose  er  sev'm  hun- 
derd  dollar  nigger." 

"How  was  that?" 

"De  ex'bition  wuz  mighty  private.  Dar 
wa'n't  no  great  to-do.  Hit  all  tuk  place  jes' 
'fo'  day  in  de  mawnin'.  De  overseer,  he 
171 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

wuz  stan'in'  at  de  gate  watchin'  de  han's 
pass,  an'  he  say  he  year  er  little  noise  in  de 
lot,  what  soun^  lak  somebody  er  scufflin'  an* 
er  scramblin'.  When  he  went  fer  ter  zammin 
inter  de  racket,  he  fine  de  smart-EUeck 
what  I  wuz  tellin'  you  'bout  doubled  up 
tinder  de  troflf,  all  mixed  up  wid  de  britchin', 
an'  er  trace-chain  wropped  all  'roun'  'im." 

"Where  was  the  muie?'* 

"Oh,  de  muie!  Dat  mule  wuz  fas'  asleep. 
She  done  gone  an'  fergit  all  'bout  de  'muse- 
ment.  'Feared  lak  it  mout  er  happen  de 
year  befo'  fer  all  she  knowed  'bout  it." 

"Was  the  colored  man  really  dead?" 

"Dat  what  dey  say,  an'  he  ain't  never 
'sputed  it  yit,  an'  dat  bin  nigh  on  ter  mo'  'n 
thirty  year  ago.  Don't  tell  me!  I  knows 
'bout  dese  mules.  White  folks  better  keep 
out'n  dere  way,  an'  ef  er  nigger  ain't  mighty 
perlite  in  'is  movemints,  dey '11  ketch  him. 
I  'm  er  talkin'  gospil  now." 


UNCLE  REMUS  TALKS  OF  HARD 
TIMES  AND  "SUNSHINE  NIGGERS" 

UNCLE  REMUS  and  old  man  Plato 
met  recently  at  the  Atlanta  pas- 
senger depot  and  compared  notes. 

"Dese  is  mighty  hard  times,  Brer  Re- 
mus/' 

"You'erwhoopin'  now,  honey;  an'  deyer 
gittin'  harder.  De  man  dat  gits  er  dollar 
dese  days  is  got  ter  onlimber  hisse'f,  sho's 
you  bawn.  He's  got  ter  git  'roun'  same  ez 
ef  he  wuz  at  er  camp-meetin'  rastle." 

*'Dat  what  I  calls  knockin'  at  de  front 
do',"  said  old  Uncle  Plato,  by  way  of  ex- 
pressing his  hearty  assent. 

*'De  time  done  come,  Brer  Plato,"  con- 
tinued Uncle  Remus,  "when  niggers  ain't 
got  none  de  'vantage  er  po'  white  folks. 
Some  un  um,  I  notices,  kin  set  in  de  sun  an' 

173 


Uncle  Remus  Returns 

git  fat,  but  wid  me  hit's  a  scuffle  an'  er 
scramble  fum  day's  een'  ter  day's  een',  an' 
I'm  monst'us  glad  when  night  come  ef  I 
got  er  slice  er  bacon  rine  fer  ter  grease  my 
stummik  wid." 

"Some  er  dese  yer  niggers,  Brer  Remus, 
what  Stan's  'roun'  an'  suns  deyse'f  look  lak 
dat  dey  got  rich  kinfolks  some'rs." 

*'No  use  fer  ter  lose  no  sleep  'bout  dem 
kinfolks,  Brer  Plato.  Ef  'twan't  for  dese 
sunshine  niggers,  de  chain  gang  would  n't 
be  able  fer  ter  dig  er  pos'-hole.  Hit  'ud  be 
mighty  nigh  ez  weak  ez  de  toddy  what 
Marse  John  mix  fer  de  baby.  Niggers  don't 
fatten  on  no  sunshine.  When  you  wakes  des 
'fo'  day  an'  year  de  hens  er  cacklin'  an'  er 
squallin',  you  kin  des  put  it  down  dat  one 
er  dese  yere  sunshine  niggers  is  makin'  his 
livin',  an'  ef  er  p'leeceman  happin  fer  sa'nter 
up,  dar's  ernudder  candydit  fer  de  chain 
gang." 

174 


Uncle  Remus  and  Hard  Times 

"You'er  chawin'  govunment  terbacker 
now,  Brer  Remus/'  responded  Uncle  Plato 
approvingly. 


THE   END 


CAMBRIDGE  .  MASSACHUSETTS 
U   .  S   .  A 


'^^ 


